Monsters Don't Do Background Checks - saltedpeppermintmocha (2024)

Chapter 1: Monsters Don't Do Background Checks

Chapter Text

The building looms above you, and you wonder (not for the first time) if you are making a mistake.

Okay. You take in a deep breath and count to ten. One shot at this. I got this.

Fake it till you make it, right?

Pushing open the surprisingly heavy glass door, you walk in. It takes you a few moments to adjust to the sudden LED-lighted lobby. The first thing that catches your eye -and how could it not - is the giant fountain in the middle of the room. It’s huge, with water spraying out in all directions. A robotic statue stands tall in the middle, water spraying from each of its four arms. An attention-grabber, for sure.

Despite its opulence, the lobby itself is quiet. A few monsters litter about, and it takes you a concentrated effort not to stare. sh*t. They are huge . Instead, you focus your eyes on the reception desk in the far left corner and start towards it, ignoring the feeling of multiple pairs of eyes watching your every moment.

There is nobody behind the desk, which feels a bit odd. You check your phone, confirming the time. It’s correct. Maybe you’re a little early, but that's a good thing…right? sh*t. Maybe it’s not for monsters. Who knows. Standing on your tiptoes, you lean slightly against the counter in an attempt to see around it. Nothing. Huh.

For a moment you can’t help but flounder, feeling awkward as more monsters in the lobby turn to face you. Then your eyes catch on something shiny further down the counter. A reception bell. Oh. Do you need to ring it?

You slam your hand down on it, only after the chime starts considering that maybe you should have paused a second before just going forward. In some places, ringing the bell could be considered rude, right? Definitely not the impression you’re trying to give. But just waiting here seems dumb too. You’d risk losing your nerve.

And well, that’s just not an option. This is your option. This is your fresh start.

“Welcome to MTT Resort! Ebott’s biggest apartment-building-turned hotel!”

f*ck! You startle harshly at the voice, turning on your heel to find the speaker. It comes in the form of a short…almost star-shaped monster suddenly appearing beside you. Where the hell did you come from?! The monster is red and blue colour-blocked, and has a diamond shaped head. You don’t really know what to think of it, though…you’re pretty sure that each point on its body is sharp enough to cause real damage. It puts you on edge, despite its smiling face.

“Oh. A human guest…” Its head spins completely around. Woah. Weird. “Nice! MTT resort prides itself on catering to all kinds of guests!”

“Oh, uh, thanks.” You smile awkwardly. “I’m not a guest though. I’m here for the…interview?”

The monster’s head spins around again. “Oh! Well, isn’t that unexpected!” A pause. “But MTT resort prides itself on its ability to handle the unexpected!”

Uh… Unsure as to how to respond to that, you just smile.

The star-shaped monster points its arm(?) at a door not far from the reception desk. “Go through that door! The supervisor will see you in her office.”

“Thanks!” Your smile becomes a bit more sincere. The monster cartwheels away, starting up a conversation with a new monster walking into the lobby. It’s the same spiel it started with you. You only pay the amusing scene a moment of attention, before turning away and heading towards the door.

The door opens directly to an office. A high-pitched voice rings out immediately. “What do you want?”

Oh. That’s…that’s a hand. An actual hand. Giant and blue, with very sharp red nails. The monster currently sits behind a large desk, the giant fingers folded into a fist.

“H-hi!” You stammer. sh*t. Pull yourself together. You plaster on a smile and introduce yourself. “I’m here for the job interview.”

The giant hand moves into a ‘three’ position. “Oh. You’re a human.” How is it even speaking? There’s no mouth??

Once its words register over your internal dialogue, a feeling of dread starts to bubble in your stomach. “Is that…a problem?”

The hand moves to a ‘one’ position. For a long moment, there is no response. You feel your nerves and stress grow, clawing up your throat. Your chest feels weird, a tugging motion you can’t fully place.

Then, an answer. “No. Just unexpected. We don’t get many humans here.” A pause. “You can call me Chandace.”

Oh. Alright then. You expected that. “It’s nice to meet you, Chandace.”

A snort (how?!) “Well, you’re already more polite than the sh*t employeesI have already. Sit down. Let's get this going.”

With that, the interview starts immediately. It’s short, with mostly questions you had expected and prepared to be asked. A few are…oddly specific, but nothing you can’t handle. You can tell that Chandace is near the end of the questions -and are feeling confident- when she hits you with the big one.

“Do you have any experience working with monsters?”

“No.” You admit. “I just moved here, but I’m very open-minded and ready to learn!”

“Well, you’re definitely crazy enough to even try.” Chandace hums, moving again into a ‘three’ position.“We require all staff to live on-site. Is that a problem?”

“Live…on site?”

“Yes, at the resort.” She says, words slow. “Part of your pay will go directly towards your room, of course. But employees get a discount.”

That seems…highly problematic. Definitely something that wouldn’t fly outside of Ebott. Red flags pop up in your mind from all directions. But…well…that does actually solve your other big problem of living out of your car.

“That works for me.” You say. “I do have a car. Do you have parking?”

“Yes.“ Chandace says. “Most monsters don't have cars, so I can sell you a spot. Full-price.” f*cking hell. How much of your pay is going to go towards just living at the resort?! It's frustrating in principle, but not like you have many other options.

Wait. Most monsters don't have cars? But…

“What about those cars in the parking lot?” You can’t help but ask. The parking lot outside the resort was practically full.

“Mettatons, mostly.” She says. “Status symbols.”

Huh? You think back on the cars you walked by. Sure, they were pretty nice…but not exactly something you’d consider a ‘status symbol’. Still, you nod. “Okay.”

A long silence, then. “I’ll get started on the paperwork.”

You straighten up, eyes widening. “Does that mean…I got the job?!”

“Don’t be stupid.” Chandace stands up. “Arrive on time, do your job, don’t pull any human sh*t, and we’ll have no problem.” She starts towards the door. “I’ll be back with the forms.”

The door closes behind you as Chandace walks out. Alone in the office, it takes you a moment for your mind to truly click.

…I got the job.

…

I did it…holy sh*t. I actually did it! A triumphant grin forms on your face, and you lean back into the chair. Relief quickly overwhelms any sense of victory you feel. You have a job, and -surprisingly- a place to sleep.

So, that’s how you became the first human employee at a monster-owned business.

f*cking cool.

The elevator makes a freaky sound as you go up, enough to make you question if it might be best to take the stares from now on. At least you’re only on the third floor, so the ride isn’t too long.

The doors open to a rather lackluster hallway. Sure, there may be nothing overtly wrong with the hallway, but it looks like any other hotel hallway you’ve ever been in. It contrasts so heavily with the glitz and glam of the outside of the building and the lobby that it gives you pause.

Walking down the hall, you quickly find your room. Sliding the keycard into the slot, the door unlocks. You push it open with your hip, pulling your suitcase behind you. Once inside, you lock the door and turn on the lights.

Your room itself is much like the hallway, upsettingly normal; though, you are not sure exactly what you expected. Maybe something more ‘monster-like’? Whatever that might mean. Still, the room has pretty much anything you could need: a bed (large), a television (old and boxy), a bathroom (no tub, damn), a table and chair and storage. The only thing missing is a kitchen, but Chandace had already explained earlier that the employees use a full communal kitchen.

It feels sort of like being in a dorm. Hm. Again, you can’t exactly complain.

After haphazardly putting away your personal items and checking out your view (literally just the side of the building next door), you decide to find this communal kitchen. Double checking that you have your keycard with you, you walk out of your room and down the hall.

It doesn’t take long to find what you’re sure is it, a large open door at the end of the hall. You turn into the room…

…and immediately crash into someone.

“sh*t!” You grumble, stepping backwards and rubbing your hurt nose. Whatever you walked into was soft, but didn’t move an inch.

“Watch your f*cking step.” A male voice. You look up. Oh. It’s…a cat? Well, a cat monster. Huh. This is actually the first monster that I can somewhat recognize. The cat narrows his eyes at you. “You’re new.” He says, ears folding back onto his head. “Where are you working?”

You introduce yourself, feeling a bit on edge as his stare only grows in intensity. “I’m the new receptionist.”

At your words, his shoulders drop. “Hm. Fine then.” A pause. “Just don’t take from my tips.”

“Uh, of course not?” You respond quickly, confused. “I guess…you work here too, then?”

“Everyone on this floor works at this sh*thole.” The cat deadpans. You open your mouth to ask another question, but a paw on your shoulder gently pushes you aside. Before you can say anything, the cat monster walks past you.

Well, f*ck me then.

You roll your eyes, and head into the kitchen. It’s empty now, but clean at least. That’s good. There’s also a small seating area with two couches, and a large window. Walking over, you check out the view. It’s a bit better, showing the park across the street. It’s kind of interesting to people-watch. Uh. Monster-watch?

Bzzt

Your phone vibrates in your pocket. Not a call, a text. Probably Chandace with your schedule. sh*t. You can’t believe you are actually going to work at MTT resort! A monster hotel. What the f*ck is your life?

Pulling out your phone, you open the message and read it. Uh. You re-read it. And again. That…can’t be right….right?

[Chandace]: Your first shift is tomorrow. Be downstairs at 4:30 a.m.

Four thirty?! You groan at the text, immediately turning around to head back. If you have to be up that early, you have no choice but to start winding down now.

‘Winding-down’ turns out to be completely impossible. You try, oh how you try, but everything in you thrums in excitement and anticipation. How the hell can you ‘wind down’ when you’re actually here? Living in MTT Resort? When everything you’ve been working towards for the last few months has actually happened…and worked?

I’m here.

I’m actually here.

A mantra you don’t think you’ll stop repeating for a while. Grabbing a pillow, you place it over your face to muffle the excited sound that escapes you. It had been a long, terrifying process, but it actually f*cking worked! You think of your day, of how terrified and anxious you had been, of how you spent at least an hour in the MTT Resort parking lot before being able to calm yourself enough to walk in.

A bit ridiculous, sure, but it’s not like you’re normally like this. God, if you were, you don’t think any of this would have been possible. It was pretty much your life on the line after all. You think you can give yourself a bit of a break.

Monsters don’t do background checks; the rumor that had you uproot your entire life and move to a completely foreign environment. There hadn’t been a way to corroborate the rumor -nothing online about the subject at all- so the risk had been huge. I guess I was just desperate enough to try anything. At least it turned out to be true. You’re not entirely sure what you would have done if things hadn’t panned out. There was no backup plan.

When you first heard the rumor, you had assumed you would have to move to Ebott itself. That…was overwhelming. The thought of that monster metropolis at the foot of the mountain felt so alien to you. Apparently it had been a small farming town before the Emergence, but the humans that previously lived there left quickly after the monsters showed up. Now, ruled by the monster monarchy, it had exploded into the bustling place it is now.

The main problem with moving to Ebott was the tension between monsters and humans in the area. It’s a bit better now…but not long ago there were many incidents in the news. Humans would go to the city and cause trouble; sometimes smaller things like vandalism or robbery, and other times actively looking to hurt someone. A dumb idea, really. It never really worked out well for the humans that tried. Not only are monsters normally much stronger than us, but they actually are legally allowed a wide-range of self-defense for themselves and their territory.

The law had to catch up quickly after the Emergence. Many people were not happy at the monster's existence, and would travel to the town to demand them ‘return to the mountain’. The first time a human was seriously hurt, it was huge. The man had gone to Ebott and attacked what they thought was a weak monster, only to get their ass handed to them. It went to court, and the entire world watched as it was self-defense. It was the first time in a while that you actually felt a bit proud of your species. The precedent continues to stand, dissuading many would-be attackers and vandals. Unfortunately, despite the win, things remain tense between the two species, especially in Ebott.

So, no, the idea of moving there seemed impossible. Not with your limitations. But in your research, you found another possibility. A city, an hour or so away from Ebott, where enough monsters had branched out to that they formed their own area colloquially called ‘Monstertown. Monster owned businesses were popping up quickly, including a new branch of the famous MTT Resort. From what you read, the big migration of monsters had been a joint decision between the government and the monarchy to improve Monster-Human relations. Unfortunately, it had ended up mostly just dividing the city. Like Ebott -now, anyways- there are rarely any incidents, but only a few brave humans ever enter Monstertown.

Knowing that, the looks you got all day are neither surprising or insulting. Monsters look at you in surprise and confusion more than anything. It’s what you can expect when you move specifically to the monster side of the city. Sure, maybe you’d have an easier time blending in on the human side of town but…well…there’s a reason you applied specifically to a monster-owned business.

It’s worked out for you though. A place like this, where monsters are separate but still receptive to humans, is perfect for you.

Your phone vibrates on the bed, pulling you from your thoughts. You pull the pillow from your face and grab your phone. A new text is up on the screen.

[Mark]: Where r u?

Frowning, you swipe to clear your screen and turn it face down. You push away the new thoughts trying to crawl up your mind, anxieties you thought you left miles ago. No, now is not the time to reflect on the past.

You are here. This is your future.

You don’t get much sleep at all, anticipation for your first day thrumming heavily in your veins. Eventually you do pass out, but it feels like you only sleep for maybe twenty minutes before your alarm starts going off.

Peeling yourself out of bed, you get ready and head on down to the main floor. Chandace hadn’t mentioned a uniform -luckily- so you were dressed in your best ‘business casual’ type outfit. You take advantage of the large elevator mirror to ensure you look good and put-together from all angles before the doors open to the lobby.

It’s pretty much empty, which you could expect at this hour. The only two occupants are the hand monster and the star-monster, chatting at the reception desk.

“Good morning!” You smile, walking over.

Chandace turns towards you, fingers in a ‘four’ position. “You look presentable. Good.”

“Uh, thanks.” You respond. The silence grows a bit too long. “So…how can I start?”

“I will train you today.” Chandace says. “Tomorrow you will be on your own, so listen well.”

“You will do fine.” The star monster says. “MTT resort prides itself on a robust training program!”

…

…

‘Robust’ my ass.

If there is an actual training program, Chandace doesn’t follow it. All she does is show you the absolute basics of working the reception desk. The customer service part of it comes easily, but the software is almost alien to you. It takes you a bit to understand how to navigate it. Still, you feel like you’re catching on pretty well by the time the first guest arrives.

You look up, catching eyes with a dog monster. “Good morning!” You give your customer service smile. “Are you checking in?”

The dog looks completely surprised. “You smell like…a human.”

You blink. “Well, good. I am a human.”

The silence goes long.

“Can I help you check in?” You repeat. Your voice seems to shake the dog monster out of it.

“Okay.”

The rest of your interactions go similarly. No matter their size or personality, they all have the same reaction to seeing you: complete shock. It’s kinda funny, but you have a feeling it will get old fast. There’s only so many times you can be told your own species before it gets too repetitive.

Chandace leaves you on your own after the first guest, telling you to only bug her if it's urgent. It feels a bit like a compliment, that she thinks you’re good enough to be left alone. But also…it's kinda worrying to be the only one here on your first day.

It’s just after noon when your stomach moves from a light rumble to an intense need, and the lack of caffeine -you now know you’ll have to bring your own- and food starts to negatively affect your attitude. When you finally get a chance, you head towards the supervisor's room.

“Hi Chandace!” You peek in. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“What do you want?” She responds, fingers in a ‘one’ position. You have a feeling she isn’t actually looking up at you.

“Just, uh, wondering when I should go on break.” You say. “It’s pretty quiet, I think now might be a good time?”

“A break?” That gets her to look up. “What are you talking about?”

…

“Uh…” You start, not really sure how you’re going to handle this. Why is she confused? “My break. You know…the time I get to myself…that I don’t have to work?”

“You don’t get a ‘break’.”

That's…not possible. Your shift is over eight hours. Do monsters not get breaks?! For a moment you panic, wondering how you’re going to manage this. sh*t, you need this job. But can you work that long without a single break?! “But..I’m legally entitled to it.”

“What?!” Chandace’s fingers go down into a fist. “Is this a human thing??”

“Yeah.” You nod.“It’s thirty minutes for anything over eight hours.”

“Are you serious?!” She grumbles. “That’s ridiculous! I don’t know how you humans manage to get sh*t done like this.” A pause. “Anything else you’re ‘entitled’ to?”

Well, yes, actually. But it doesn’t feel like a good time to bring any of that up. Not on your first day. Not when she already seems so annoyed. “Just a thirty for today.”

“I’m not paying you to not work.”

You respond quickly. “It’s unpaid!”

“Hm.” She looks down. “I’m going to look into this. You better not be lying.”

“I’m not!” You insist.

“Fine. Take it. I’ll do your job too.” Her fingers move dismissively. “Just be back on time.”

“Okay. Uh, thanks.” You leave it there, not wanting to upset her any more, and leave the office.

After giving the reception and lobby area a quick check -no potential guests- you head out into the lobby with a destination in mind : MTT Burger Emporium. The glittery gold sign has been tantalizing you all morning. You figure that soon, the idea of staying inside the resort for your break and eating resort food will sound awful, but for now it’s all you need.

You walk into the emporium and look around. It looks just like any other fast-food restaurant, with a bit of extra pizzazz. The walls are decorated with various scenes from Mettaton’s movies and tv shows. Not that you’ve seen more than a few minutes of any. Hm. You look away and make your way to the counter.

Oh.

The cat monster from before stands behind the counter. You smile. “Hi again!” Squinting at the small nametag on his apron, you finally have a name to put with the face: BP.

BP’s eyebrows raise. “Quitting already?” He asks.

“What? No.” Your smile fades. “What are you talking about?”

“I thought you were working this morning.” He says. “I saw you on my way in.”

“I am.” You say, your voice taking on a confused tone as well. “I started at 4:30 this morning.”

That only confuses him more. “So…why are you here if you’re not quitting?”

Suddenly the pieces connect. Ah, I see. “Oh, I’m on break.”

“On…break?” His head tilts to the side a bit.

You explain again what a break is, going into a bit more detail this time. The confusion on the monsters face lessens as you talk. When you finish, he chuckles. “Really? sh*t. Chandace is probably pissed.”

“Seemed it.” You sigh. “Do you guys really work the entire shift without a break?”

BP shrugs. “Normal to us, I guess.”

“They’re so long though…I don’t know how you do it.” You respond, glancing up towards the clock. sh*t. You’re running out of time. “Anyways, what’s good here?”

The break feels too short, and you only finish half of your burger by the time you have to go back to the reception area. A bit early, but it pays off as Chandace comes out at exactly thirty minutes. She’s a bit hard to read…but you think she’s surprised that you are back on time.

“MTT Resort will comply with your human laws.” She says. “You’ll get a thirty minute break, unpaid.”

“Sounds good to me.” You smile.

2 Weeks Later

Walking out of MTT Resort, you throw your hands in the air for a full-body stretch. Your bones pop, and you let out a relieved sigh. sh*t, that feels amazing. The air also feels great after that long-ass shift. You started long before the sun came up, and it’s already sunset. The end of your two weeks of ‘nonstop orientation’ hell is done. f*ck. Finally, tomorrow, you have a day off. You’re completely exhausted and want nothing more than to pass out in bed. But…you have things to do.

Looking down at your phone, you program the MonsterMart into your GPS and let it lead the way. Walking down the street, you can’t help but feel a bit like an animal in the zoo. Humans don’t normally come to this side of town, so you get a lot of looks. It doesn’t normally bother you much, but today it's getting under your skin quite a bit.

Instead of paying attention to the stares and allowing your annoyance to grow, you spend your walk double checking the grocery list on your phone. It’s not long, just a few items so that you’re no longer spending money at the MTT Burger Emporium. As much as you actually enjoy talking to the snarky cat monster there, the food is heavy and your wallet is really starting to hurt. The resort pays weekly, but with a good portion of your paycheck going towards your room and parking…there isn’t much left over. Definitely not enough to be paying for food each day.

So, grocery shopping it is. You had briefly considered going to the human side of town, but your car is low on gas, and really, getting the lay of the land is probably the best bet. It feels like you haven’t left the resort at all in the past month. If you really plan to live here for a while, you’ll need to know more than one building. Sure, maybe it would be better to explore Monstertown in a better mood, but you don’t really have any other options. Your last paycheck is already almost gone, you can’t afford another Burger Emporium meal and groceries. As it is, you can almost feel the exhaustion radiating out from you. You don’t want to do this at all. If you had any choice, you wouldn’t be.

The MonsterMart turns out to be a small store, with shelves a bit more bare than you would have liked. Still, you manage to find most of what you’re looking for. The last thing you’re having trouble finding is mustard.

It’s frustrating, you just want to go home. You don’t want to be searching down every f*cking isle for condiments. Eventually you do find them, in the back of a seemingly unrelated section. Finally! There’s only one bottle of mustard left, sitting amongst an abundance of other condiments. Weird.

With a small frown, you grab it. It’s a monster brand, you can tell by the overly simple ‘Mustard’ label that human brands don’t do. Interested, you turn it over to see the ingredients. What kind of mustard is this? You are in the middle of trying to determine what one of the ingredients is when the bottle just disappears from your hand.

…

What?!

You look around, eyes immediately locking on a very large monster standing only a foot or so away. How you didn’t notice his approach is a terrifying mystery. You should have noticed something that big approach you. The monster himself is…well, also kinda terrifying. A skeleton stands before you, tall and broad. His heavy-set form is covered by a black, fur-lined jacket over a dark red top.

Yeah, he’s pretty freaky. You should be scared, right? Even if this was a human, it's not a good situation. Cornered at the end of an isle, alone with a being as big, obviously strong and stealthy as this monster is. Every instinct should be screaming. Right?

But fear never comes. No, as your eyes zero in on the bottle of mustard in those huge hands, it’s not fear that overcomes you, but annoyance.

“Did you just…?” You ask.

Crimson eye lights turn to look at you. “did I just what?” He says, voice deep and gravelly.

“You-you took that from me.” You say, surprise making you stammer. “I was literally just holding that!”

He snorts. “ya snooze ya lose.”

…What?

You blink slowly at the rude response, feeling that annoyance quickly escalating in your body to full-on anger. Really? Is this monster really going to try to steal your f*cking mustard?!

Maybe, just maybe, if you hadn't been at the end of a long and stressful two weeks, you’d just let it go. It’s just mustard. Maybe he doesn’t understand basic social etiquette. Maybe he doesn’t realize he’s being rude. Maybe he needs it more than you.

As it is, none of that matters. You don’t have a bone of patience left in your body.

“What the f*ck?!” You turn to face him fully, holding out a hand. “Give it back!”

The skeleton’s eye sockets widen slightly, before narrowing. He grins, showing off sharp teeth. “or what? ya gonna take it from me?”

You try. f*ck, do you try. Without thinking, you lunge forward at the monster, hands open and ready to claw the bottle back from him.

The skeleton lets out a surprised sound, lifts the hand holding the mustard higher, and that’s it. You just can’t reach that. Condiment fully out of reach, you collide painfully with his body. The force is apparently not enough to move him. You practically bounce off hard bones and onto your ass on the tiled ground.

“Ow, f*ck.” You grumble, any physical pain you might have felt being vastly outweighed by the sheer embarrassment that quickly fills your body. What the hell did I just do?! You can already feel the heat growing in your face. It definitely doesn’t help that the monster just stares down at you, a look of pure amusem*nt on his face. sh*t.

As quick as possible, you scramble back into a standing position and try to fix him with the strongest glare you still have in you. Getting knocked down like that definitely puts a hose to your fire, but you can still try to hold onto as much of your dignity as possible. The glare doesn’t seem to do anything but amuse the skeleton further, if the widening grin on his face says anything.

“yer not gonna win, sweetcheeks.” He says, bringing his arm back down. As you watch, he starts tossing and catching the bottle in his hand. Taunting you. Asshole.

The demeaning nickname fulfills its purpose of another dagger into your tattered pride. “f*ck you.” You spit out, the only response you can even think of.

Those red eyes look you up and down, intense in a familiar way that immediately puts you back on guard. You’ve seen that look before. Not on a monster, but still. Suddenly, you have a strong feeling that you know the type of thing he’s going to respond with. You practically handed the opportunity to that smug face monster. As said monster opens his mouth, you brace yourself for whatever rude innuendo he’s about to say.

Bzzt. Bzzt.

A phone vibrates, loud enough that you can hear it. The skeleton immediately freezes, free hand going to his pocket. He brings out a phone and holds it to…well…where an ear would be on a human.

“sup.” He says casually. A loud voice comes through the phone that you can’t understand.

The skeleton rolls his eyes. “patrollin’”

The voice on the other end gets louder, somehow. The skeleton winces, pulling the phone slightly away from his skull. “fine.”

Those intense eyes don’t leave you as he speaks into the phone. Unfortunate, as you definitely would have taken the opportunity to try for the mustard again if he got distracted. Anything to restore your dignity even a little bit.

“Didn’t anyone teach you not to steal?” You ask, the moment the skeleton ends his call.

“didn’t anyone teach ya not to mess with someone stronger than ya?” He responds, but he seems a bit distracted now. “well, this has been fun.” He continues. “but I gotta go.” With that, the skeleton turns and walks away. He casually tosses your mustard in the air a bit higher, definitely taunting you.

Unable to do anything else, you flip him off behind his back, glaring at him until he’s out of sight.

Grumbling to yourself, you finally admit defeat. Turning to the other condiments, you try to figure out any sort of substitute for your groceries. It takes you a bit, but you manage to figure it out. The whole skeleton situation puts you in an even worse mood, but the monster cashier doesn’t seem to even notice. The entire interaction is done with as little words as possible, and soon you’re headed back to the resort.

You keep to yourself, quickly heading towards the elevator and up to your room. You stuff what you can in the minifridge in your room and collapse angrily on your bed.

“f*cking skeleton asshole.” You whisper into your pillow.

I hope I never see that f*cking smug face again.

Chapter 2: Monsters Don't Take Breaks

Chapter Text

2 Weeks Later

“Here is your keycard. The room number is written on the card. Please use the elevator to your right. Enjoy your stay at MTT Resort.” You finish your spiel with a smile. The monster -some sort of round fish monster- walks away without responding, but that’s okay. They rarely do.

Even after a full month of working at the resort, the monster guests still don’t seem to know how to actually respond to you. At first, you kinda wondered if they were just being rude, but now you’re not too sure. Chandace explained it was your ‘humanness’ that put them off, whatever that means, but the star monster -whose name you never learned but it’s way too late to ask now- doesn’t act any differently than you with guests. Hm.

Well, at least monsters have proven to be better guests than humans. Mostly. They do have some odd requests and necessities, but that's not bad. One or two have tried to intimidate you into some sort of upgrade. But, well, you’re hard to intimidate and any yelling in the lobby immediately brings Chandace out of her office, ready to throw hands - hah! One look at her and the monsters quiet down rather quickly.

You look down at the computer, humming quietly as you watch the time tick away at the top right-hand corner. It’s getting close to noon, when you normally take your break. Woo.

“Uh, hi.”

Your head snaps up, surprised at the sudden appearance of someone in front of the desk. Why are they all so damn quiet?! The first thing you notice is his colour: a really pretty blue. Then you fully realize that the monster in front of you is a bunny. A bunny monster. You haven’t seen any of those yet. Huh. This monster does seem a bit familiar, somehow, though you don’t think he’s a guest.

“Hi!” Your customer service smile comes back full-force. “Welcome to MTT Resort! How can I help you? Are you looking to check in?”

“Oh, no!” The bunny shakes his head, cheeks darkening slightly. Aw, cute. “I’m actually here to uh, introduce myself.” Oh? Your expression turns a bit confused. “Yeah, my uh, partner, speaks of you a lot and, I figured it would be a good time to-” A pause. “Oh, sh*t. Is this not a good time?”

“Your partner…?” You press your lips together, thinking. Wait. “Do you mean…BP?” The cat monster had mentioned a partner once, but only in passing. He refused to elaborate despite your prying questions.

“Yes!” The bunny looks happy. “That’s right."

Your customer-service smile turns genuine. “Well then, sh*t. It’s nice to meet you!” You introduce yourself, holding out your hand.

The bunny stares at your hand for a moment in surprise before taking it, shaking it softly. “My name is Guy. You can call me, uh…Guy.”

You can’t help but chuckle at that. f*ck, this monsters is cute as sh*t. Not exactly who you’d immediately imagine to be with that snarky cat, but you definitely see what BP might see in him. Though, honestly, you are a bit surprised at this whole situation. You kinda just assumed that the cat saw you as an ‘annoying friendly acquaintance’ more than anything. The idea that he spoke about you enough to his partner that said partner went out of his way to meet you is…sweet.

In the month that you’ve been here, you’ve found it a bit hard to connect with most of the monster staff. You try, but they seem just as confused as the guests on how to actually hold a conversation with you. The only one that you’ve managed to actually get to know is BP. Even though you’ve started bringing your own food, you still often find yourself in the MTT Burger Emporium, chatting with him.The cat might be snarky, but he’s funny as hell.

Maybe you endeared yourself to the guy last week when you offered to ‘cover’ for him so he can have a quick smoke break. Not that you go and work in the Emporium, but you’ll text him during down-times whenever the coast looks clear and he’ll take the opportunity to go out back for a quick smoke. You keep an eye on the Emporium and let him know if any customers go in. MTT Resort doesn’t lose any money, and Chandace is none the wiser. It’s a good system.

For now, anyways. You’ve been trying to broach the topic with Chandace of the monster staff having breaks too. It’s been unsuccessful, but you think you might be wearing her down a bit. You are careful not to be too pushy or annoying with her, you are still a rather new employee after all. So you have resorted to being a bit sneaky. You’ve been leaving articles indicating the benefits of breaks pretty much all over her office. Hah.

“Do you know where he is?” Guy asks. “I don’t see him in the emporium. I can text him but…I don’t want to interrupt if he’s with someone.”

…speaking of which. “Ah, yes. I have an idea.” You respond. “Just hold out here for a moment.” The bunny monster nods. You turn and head towards the back door.

You peek out. As expected, BP is there. The cat monster is leaning back up against the building, looking up to the sky with a cigarette in his mouth. He looks like some punk band album cover. You try not to giggle at that thought, muttering a small. “Hey.”

BP looks over, confusion immediately on his face. His gaze flicks down to the cellphone in his hand. No missed messages from you.

“Your boytoy is here.” You grin. “He’s cute.”

The cat monster blinks, dots connecting in his mind. When they do, he frowns, flipping you off with one hand as he throws his cigarette on the ground and stomps it out. Moving quicker than you’ve ever seen him. You snicker as he walks by you, following behind.

The two of you make your way to the front. While he heads around to the door leading to the lobby, you go back to your reception area. “He’s coming.” You tell Guy as you walk back out.

“Thanks!” The bunny monster smiles. It’s funny, you know the exact moment that BP comes out by how much Guy lights up. It’s like the monster becomes a little taller, a little brighter, his smile a little wider.

He walks out of view, and you can’t help but lean over the counter -practically laying on it- to watch whatever is about to happen. You’re glad you did, as Guy practically jumps at BP, enveloping him in a hug. The cat monster doesn’t seem shocked at all, just loosely hugging back.

“Hey.” BP says as Guy steps back from the hug, voice softer than you’ve ever heard it. “What's up?”

“Can’t I just come see you?” Guy responds.

“Aww.” You whisper. Apparently not as quiet as you hoped, as both monsters turn towards you. Oh. Exposed. BP levels you with a glare, but you don't retreat, just giving a cheeky smile back. “C’mon. Ya’ll are too cute.”

Guy snorts. “I like her.”

“Well, that’s one of us.” BP grumbles, placing a hand on the small of his partner's back. “Let's go to the Emporium. There'll be less eyes there.” He gives you a pointed look.

Grinning, you mouth ‘love’ and do finger hearts as BP. His eyes widen and he turns away, flipping you off subtly using the hand on Guy’s back.

“It was nice to meet you!” Guy calls out, waving as he’s walked away.

“Right back at ya!” You smile, before standing up.

1 Month Later

“Come on!” You lean against the counter, grinning. “Look alive! This is a momentous occasion.”

BP raises an eyebrow. “It’s fifteen minutes.”

“-thaaat you didn’t have before!” You continue, giving a big smile. “I expect gratitude in the form of expensive gifts ooor the opportunity to talk to your cute boyfriend again.” You wink.

The cat monster rolls his eyes, but doesn’t respond, taking off his apron. He grabs a sign from below the counter and places it on top. You can’t help but smile at the -kinda badly, if you’re honest- written message: ‘be back in 15 minutes’.

It finally happened: Chandace caved. Two months of being bombarded with articles and definitely-not-subtle suggestions, and she finally agreed to implement fifteen minute breaks for the monster staff. Not perfect, but at least it’s something, a start at least.

So, for the occasion, you manage to get BP to agree to spend his ‘first break’ with you outside the resort. You just know that otherwise, he’d spend the entire time on an extended smoke break in the back. Sure, he’ll probably do that most breaks…but why not make this one a bit more special? You had come to BP when the fifteens were announced with a bunch of arguments to state your case, but he gave in surprisingly quick.

Walking out of the resort with BP -during the day- feels weird, but in a good way. It’s sunny and warm out, and you breath in the summer air happily. “Ah, this is life.”

“ This is life?” BP mumbles beside you, looking around the parking lot. “That’s dramatic as sh*t, little buddy.” He takes out a cigarette and lights it. You roll your eyes, knocking your shoulder against his -well, his arm, he’s much taller than you. “So, where are we going?”

You hum, looking around. Okay, maybe you should have had more of an actual plan for this grand occasion. “I guess…want to just walk through the park? Fifteen minutes isn’t long but we can get some exercise and, uh, nature?”

BP shrugs. “Whatever. As long as I can smoke.”

The two of you walk through the parking lot and cross the street to the park. You look both ways before crossing out of habit, but you doubt you’d even need to. There are never really any cars on the street in Monstertown. Entering the park, you follow the little path through it. The cat monster stays in step with you.

The park itself is a good size, and actually pretty well maintained. You absently wonder who has been looking after it. The grass is green and healthy, and groups of flowers litter throughout. It's pretty busy, with monsters going this way and that. A few stare at you, but not as many as when you first started living here. You recognize quite a few monsters from the resort or just exploring Monstertown.

In the middle of the park is a playground. It looks exactly like the ones you used to play on as a kid. The only difference is the monster children playing on it. It’s interesting to see the differences in how the monster kids play versus human children. Monsters have so many different…limbs and additions. As you walk, you watch a bird monster kid fly to the top of the monkey bars, grab onto the bars with their feet and start swinging themselves around, gathering momentum. Haha. That’s pretty cool.

“What were the playgrounds like underground?” The question is out of your mouth before you even think much of it. Oh, sh*t. It’s always been this sort of unspoken rule to not ask about the underground. Even before you moved here, when you were researching, it was always on those ‘things not to do when interacting with monsters’ lists online. Even monsters don’t talk about it too much. You have the feeling it wasn’t too great of a time. So you look over at BP and apologize. “sh*t, sorry.”

BP takes in a long hit, breathing out smoke that swirls in the air. “There weren’t any.” It takes you a second to realize he’s answered your original question. No playgrounds? At all?

“No?” You ask. Your friend only shrugs. “Huh. That’s sad. What did you do as a kid?”

“Train, mostly.” BP said. “Always gotta be prepared.”

Prepared for what? You leave it there, feeling like you’re getting into a much more intense topic than the day called for. “Well, what did you do for fun then?”

“Me? Not much.” BP said. “I worked a lot. Too much. Hung out with Guy sometimes.”

You can’t help but snort. “So not much different then.”

“Hm. I wouldn’t say that.” The cat monster replies.

You open your mouth to ask more when suddenly you freeze, your peripheral vision catching onto something unmistakable. Something horrible.

A skeleton.

No way. That can’t be. You turn your head, feeling almost like the world suddenly went into slow-motion. As your eyes fully focus, you come to a terrible realization. That’s him. There’s no way that’s not him. That asshole skeleton who stole your mustard right from your f*cking hands.

“Oh, f*ck off.” You mumble at the universe.

Sure, it was almost a month and a half ago now. He probably doesn’t even remember you. You should definitely be over it by now. But, f*ck that. You ate sh*tty sandwiches for a week until you finally gave in and went to the human side for another -way more expensive- bottle. Every bite you took of a sandwich that definitely needed mustard, the annoyance came back. Hard to get over a situation when you were consistently seeing that smug-ass face in your head.

The skeleton himself is behind a stand advertising…hotdogs? It’s surprising, he doesn’t seem to be the type to be in any sort of customer service. Who knows, maybe that's' why he was such a dick, finally had someone he didn’t have to be nice to. The guy looks bored, leaning his head against his hand on the stand.

Suddenly, as if aware he’s being stared at, his eye lights slide towards you. They immediately catch your gaze. You watch as his eye sockets widen, and that mouth ticks up into a grin. Oh. He definitely remembers you. Ass. Mouth pressing into a line, you flip him off.

“The f*ck are you doing?” BP asks beside you.

The skeleton's grin sharpens, and he sits up only to flip you off back.

Don’t do it. Be the bigger person. It’s not worth it. He’s working. Be the bigger person. Be the bigger person-

“Be right back.”

BP’s complaint doesn’t reach your ears. You march forward, focused and fueled by stored up indignation and embarrassment. Last time,there was nothing you could do. Not really. The skeleton is obviously bigger and stronger than you. But now, he has to be some sort of polite, right? He’s at work. You are not normally the type of person to f*ck with someone while working, but this is your best chance. And this guy just deserves it.

…Not that you’re exactly going in with any sort of plan. You’re kinda winging it.

The skeleton watches as you approach, that smug look on his face only growing as you get closer. It doesn’t help that even sitting down behind the stand, he’s still taller than you. Tall f*ck.

“I want a hotdog.” You say, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

An eyebrow-bone raises. “well, yer sh*t outta luck.” He says, odd tone to his voice. “i don’t sell those.”

That makes you pause. “Wait, what?”

“ya have two eyes. use ‘em. ” The skeleton says, pointing down at the sign. You look down at the sign and groan, whispering a quiet ‘f*cking hell’.

“I’ll have a ‘dog then.” You say through gritted teeth. “With ketchup and mustard.” I’m going to make you give me mustard, you dick.

…maybe not your smartest revenge, but something nonetheless.

He chuckles, seeming quite amused as he reaches down to grab a bun. A ‘dog is placed in the bun with a regular amount of ketchup and mustard on top. He passes it over to you. You look down at it.

This is it, right? It’s done now. You’ve made your point, as dumb and shaky as it is. You can walk away, and forget about all this. However rude this monster was, you really shouldn’t be going around picking fights with him, right?

That’s your thought process, anyways. So, you really have no explanation as to why you hold out the ‘dog and say. “You really think that is enough mustard?”

The skeleton looks down at the ‘dog and back at you, taking in your expression. He shrugs, and reaches over to squeeze out another layer of mustard.

“More.”

Another layer. You feel a bit vindicated.

“More.”

Another layer. It’s starting to drip slightly off the front and back.

“More.” You meet the skeleton's eyes, challenge evident. But the look on his face isn’t anything you expected: not confusion, or dismay. The monster in front of you looks completely delighted.That should have been your warning to stop.

“ya asked for it.” As you watch, he easily flips the top off the mustard. The entire container empties itself on your ‘dog. “that enough for ya?”

Shocked, you can only stare down at the ‘dog in your hand. It’s a liquidy mess, mustard sliding down your hand and arm, dripping off to splatter on the ground. You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. What can you say, that you don’t actually want what you asked for?

That’s it. You’re stuck.

“It’s…perfect.” You choke out, hoping you don’t sound as pathetic to him as you do to your own ears.

“great. that’ll be ten.”

You tear your eyes away from the horror in your hand to look up at the skeleton, who is back in his casual lean position. “Wha-wait. Ten?! How can this be ten?!”

He shrugs. “extra product. extra cost, sweetcheeks.”

That damn nickname again. Desperately, you look back down at the sign. Nothing. There’s no price at all, nothing you can quote to say he’s wrong. He has you. He knows he has you.

Grumbling, you reach into your purse with your free hand and grab your wallet. You fumble quite a bit trying to open it with one hand, face reddening under the skeletons gaze. But, eventually, you’re able to shove a ten onto his stand.

As quickly as you can, you turn and walk away. Your face heats more as you listen to him laugh at your retreat.

“...what was that?” BP asks, bewildered, as you step up to him. You just grumble and continue walking. The cat monster gives one last look back before matching your stride. Once out of sight from the stand, you throw the ‘dog away in the first trash can you can find. A waste of food, but there’s no way you could eat it how it was.

“Who is that?” You ask through gritted teeth, trying to flick remaining mustard from your hands into the bin.

“The giant f*cking skeleton you practically ran at?” BP says. “That’s Sans.”

Sans. You finally put a name to the face. Grimacing, you rub your hands together to get the last bit of mustard off. Your hands are stained yellow, and you have a feeling they’ll smell even after washing. Ew.

“Seriously. The f*ck is going on?”

You take a deep steadying breath, and turn away from the trash. “The asshole stole my mustard.” You explain what happened in the MonsterMart as you both continue to walk. The story isn’t exactly long, but you can practically feel the judgment and stress coming from him as you speak.

“sh*t.” He whispers as the story comes to an end. He pauses to take a deep hit of his cigarette. After exhaling, he turns to you. “You have no idea just how lucky you are, little buddy.”

Huh? You look over. “What does that mean?”

But he doesn’t answer you. “C’mon. The fifteen is almost up.” BP picks up his pace. You have to rush a bit to keep in line with his ridiculously long legs.

Unfortunately, you do have to pass by the stand again on your way back to MTT resort. This time, you don’t look.

You marinate in your embarrassment, frustration and regret for the rest of the day.

Ugh. Why did you do any of that? If it was ‘revenge’ or something, why did you go in without a plan? Why did you even care about ‘revenge’? That’s not like you. Not really. You’re good at remaining neutral, at just moving on from difficult situations, being in Monstertown is a testimony to that. So, why does that skeleton's smug face fire you up so bad? Why do you have such an intense want to just ‘get one over’ on him? Now, all you’ve done is make a fool of yourself again . f*ck.

Luckily the guests don't seem to take any offense to your mood. Even Chandace doesn’t seem to notice that you’re a bit off your game. You still have your ‘customer service smile and voice’ to fall back on, but in your head you’re just a mess. It doesn’t help that you apparently missed out on some actually good food with your shenanigans. BP doesn’t compliment things often, but even he says the ‘dogs are pretty damn delicious. So you embarrassed yourself, wasted your money and wasted good food. Great.

When your shift is finally over, you head directly for the stairs. You go straight to your room and flop down on the bed. The plan for the night is simple: drown your feelings in sh*tty tv and junkfood. It works, for a while. You’re able to get yourself reasonably invested in some random movie and forget your problems.

But it doesn’t last forever. As the credits roll, your traitorous mind starts to replay the embarrassing events of today. Ugh. You let out a groan and collapse backwards onto your bed. Honestly, you’re still trying to figure out why you’re letting this guy bother you so much. Something about him just ticks all your ‘annoyance’ boxes: he’s rude, smug, and uses his sheer size and strength to win over others.

… f*ck. You know who he reminds you of. You think about this for a long time, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Another movie starts on the tv, but you pay it no attention.

Bzzt.

Your phone vibrates beside you. Reaching over, you grab it and hold it over your face. A new message has popped up on your screen.

[BP]: hey

You blink, surprised at the text. Sure, you’ve had each other's numbers for a while now, but your messages have pretty much only been about covering his sneaky smoke breaks. He’s never texted you just to chat or anything.

[You]: Hi! Whats up?

[BP]: Guys having a party at his apartment next weekend. Wanna come?

Well, f*ck, that makes you sit up fully. He’s inviting you to a…party? Well, that’s unexpected, but damn it sounds like fun. You haven’t been to a party in a long while. You are pretty sure that you’re working at least one of the days, but you don’t really want to pass this up. Not to mention, you can’t help but feel a bit happy that Guy and BP are even inviting you.

[You]: yea, sure! thanks!

[BP]: k, i’ll let him know.

[BP]: just dont be weird.

Okay. Rude. But fair. Especially after the sh*t you pulled today. You respond with an emoji and lay back on the bed.

You’re going to a party. sh*t. You wonder what it’ll be like, how big it’ll be. Honestly, you can’t imagine BP of all monsters being comfortable around a huge group, but who knows. Either way, you bet their friends are pretty cool. It’ll be a good time.

Oh. You’ll need to get alcohol. There’s no way you’re going to show up empty-handed.

…

Wait. Suddenly it hits you. This will be a monster party.

You stare at the ceiling.

I’m going to a monster party.

1 Week Later

BP only occasionally joins you on breaks going forward, mostly due to timing: when you want to eat, the Burger Emporium is too busy to just leave unmanned. Sure, Chandace has been a bit more accommodating, but you have no doubt she will stop allowing the monsters breaks entirely if they start losing revenue.

So, today, it’s just you, but that’s a good thing. You have a plan: head to the human side and get alcohol for the party. You’ll need the full thirty for that.

Heading out of MTT Resort, you breathe in the fresh air and head towards your car. A few monsters you recognize as you walk, so you give them a small smile. You’re in a good mood today. Honestly you’ve been in a good mood since the party invite came. You, at a monster party? How cool is that?! You honestly have no idea what to expect…but you’re excited.

Sliding into your car, you program the directions into your phone and get going. It doesn’t take long to leave Monstertown, it’s not like there are enough cars on the road to create any sort of traffic. Once you hit the human side, that changes. You almost immediately run into traffic. Still, you’re not going far, so it’s too not long before you pull into the liquor store parking lot.

It’s…a bit surprising just how weird it feels to be surrounded by humans after almost two and a half months of living in Monstertown. You actually pause for a moment in the doorway, taking it in, before someone walks up behind you forcing you to move. It feels so odd not to be completely overshadowed by beings so much bigger than you. You’re normal here. There are no stares, no funny looks, and no children pointing at you.

It doesn’t take you long to find your liquor of choice, but you admit that you might walk around the store a bit longer, just reveling in the feeling of being ‘nothing to look at’. You stand in line behind someone shorter than you, and the cashier doesn’t give you a second look as he rings in your bottle.

Or at least, he doesn’t until the end. As you’re grabbing the paper bag to head out, the cashier speaks up. “MTT Resort?”

Huh? You give the cashier a confused look, but he’s not looking at your face. He’s looking at your chest -which is majorly off putting, but you’re not wearing anything revealing. You look down. Oh. Your nametag. “Uh, yea?”

“That’s…in Monstertown, right?”

“Yea.” You look back up, frown on your face. “I work there.”

The cashier seems to go through an entire range of emotions, all obvious on his face. Eventually he settles on disgust. “But, why?” He asks. “I’m sure there are plenty of decent human places hiring if you need a job.”

“I’m good.”

The conversation ends there. Only because you make it end. The cashier furrows his brow, opening his mouth for a comment that you are suddenly very sure you don’t want to hear, so you quickly turn and walk away without another word. Asshole.

If you blast your music just a bit louder on the way back to work, only you would know.

Guy’s apartment is a few blocks away. It’s a nice building, and the elevator actually works well, which is great since the monster is on a high floor. If you had to take the stairs, you’re not entirely sure you’d even make it.

You hear the music the moment the elevator door opens, a deep bass rumbling through the floor. Its a wonder the neighbours haven’t said anything. Who knows, maybe they’re at the party? You wander down the hall until you reach the right door. Even without the number, you’d know which one to go to.

Honestly, you doubt that you could knock loud enough to hear over the music, so you type out a quick text to BP.

[You:] here

That done, you tap your foot to the beat as you wait. It’s catchy, though definitely nothing you’ve heard before. As one song ends and the other begins, you find yourself tapping your fingers against your thigh too.

sh*t. You’re nervous.

It’s normal, you think. This is a completely new situation for you. Despite trying to get info from BP on what monster parties are like, the only response you ever got was ‘it’s just a party’. The useless sh*t. So you don’t really know what to expect behind the door.

After a few moments, the door opens. Instead of the cat monster you expect, Guy pops his head out. He smiles and holds open the door, waving you in. “Hi! Glad you could make it!” You return the smile and walk under his arm into the apartment. As you step inside, Guy closes the door behind you.

You are quickly aware of many eyes staring at you. Looking around the nice living room that you’ve walked into, you quickly note that you are definitely the only human here. Not surprising at all.

It’s not packed by any means, but monsters of different shapes and sizes litter throughout the living room. The couch and chair are full, along with a monster and a dog (?) sitting on the floor. A few stand a bit further away, chatting in an archway that you’d guess leads to a kitchen. The only one you recognize is BP, who looks up at you from his place on the couch. He raises his hand in a quick, lazy wave.

“Whose the human?” A buff mer…horse (?) monster says. He’s sitting on the other side of the couch in the living room, hand holding a solo cup filled with liquid.

“Everyone!” Guy calls out, voice surprisingly loud. He puts a hand on your shoulder and introduces you to the group. You smile -a bit awkwardly- and wave -definitely awkwardly- to the group.

“Oh sh*t.” A mouse monster speaks up from their place on the floor, voice surprisingly loud for such a small body. “You’re that human that works at MTT Resort!”

“Yup, that's me.”

One of the two dog monsters -kinda romantically- sharing the chair pipes in.“Didya bring any treats?”

Treats? You flounder for a second, before remembering. “Uh, I brought alcohol, if that counts?” You respond, digging out the rather large bottle of alcohol from your purse. You hold it up.

…

….

“HUMAN ALCOHOL!” Aaron woops. A cheer goes out through the room, monsters raising their cups in the air.

That was…an unexpected reaction. It’s like any apprehension is instantly gone, the room falling back into what you assume was its previous level of chill.

“Well, you won them over quickly.” Guy laughs. You look over at him, confused. “We can’t buy human alcohol. It’s kinda a luxury.”

“...really?” You ask. The bunny monster nods the affirmative.“Well, that’s dumb.”

Guy chuckles. “Yea. I think so too.” His voice then gets louder as he addresses the rest of the monsters. “I’m gonna go get more cups. Who wants to try?” A few monsters put their hands up.

You pass him the bottle, and the blue monster goes off towards the kitchen. You watch him disappear into the archway and weigh your options. After a moment, you make your way towards the group by the couch. They go mostly silent as you approach, waiting. You sit down on the ground beside the dog - or dog monster (?), you can’t really tell- and the mouse monster.

The group is clearly waiting for you to say something, so you speak the first thing that comes to your mind. “So, what’s all your names?”

Everyone is actually really nice, not that you really expected any different from friends of Guy (BP is a 50/50). They are all big, and a bit scary looking, but you’ve found that’s par for the course with monsters. But, while most interactions you’ve had so far with monsters have been short and stunted, this is really nice. The group here seem to have quickly gotten over their initial surprise, and seem to be treating you like anyone else.

You’re in the middle of laughing at a rather raunchy story that Aaron -the buff merhorse- is telling, while petting Lesser Dog -still not sure if a monster or a dog- when the door opens again. Looking up from where you are on the ground, you see someone new enter the apartment.

…a skeleton.

A familiar skeleton.

Aw. f*ck.

He looks around the room, eyes quickly falling on you. Seemingly as surprised as you feel, his eye sockets widen, mouth going slack as he stares. For a moment, it seems like both of you can agree on one thought: what the f*ck.

He recovers first, shaking his head. Without acknowledging you further, he walks past the couch and through the archway to the kitchen.

“What’s your beef with the skele-bro?” Aaron asks. BP lets out a groan from his spot on the couch, leaning back to look at the ceiling.

Turning your gaze from the kitchen, you answer. “He’s just an ass.”

“I’ll drink to that!” He holds up his cup.

You laugh, and hold up your own. You have a feeling this monster would drink to pretty much anything. Another cheer goes up around you, and everyone takes another drink. Even BP, who doesn’t look particularly happy to do so. A whimper comes from your lap. You look down, taking in Lesser Dog’s pouting face.

“Oh, sorry little guy.” Reaching over, you attempt to reach the jar of dog treats on the coffee table. Your arm is a little short, and you can’t reach further without pushing Lesser Dog off of your lap. Damnit. “Hey, Guy. Guy! Can you pass me a dog treat?”

The bunny monster sits up from his spot leaning against BP on the couch. He’s able to reach the jar easily and grabs a treat, tossing it to you. You catch it quickly and pass it to Lesser Dog. The pup gives a happy ‘woof’ and re-settles in your lap.

Somehow, you manage to practically forget about the skeleton in the apartment. He doesn’t leave the kitchen, and the other monster guests are just too funny -if not a bit wild in their stories- to focus on anything else. You never really know what to expect, but that’s the fun of it. They ask many questions about humans, and have no problem with you asking questions back. It’s nice, a refreshing change of course from many of the monsters you’ve met too far, who are too surprised to hold even a base-level conversation.

Maybe it's the alcohol? You are for sure feeling its effects. Not too much, just a bit tipsy, a bit more loose than before.

Either way, you’re having a good time. It takes a good hour or so before you’re forced to remember the only thing that could bring your mood down.

“I’m outta juice.” You shake your empty cup sadly. It was bound to happen, with as many times that Aaron tried to get everyone to drink. A ‘boo’ is heard all around you. Chuckling, you move Lesser Dog from your lap -the pup just stretches out on the floor- and push yourself up into a stand. “I’ll be right back.”

You head into the kitchen, blinking a few times to clear your slightly wobbly vision. It’s surprisingly big, with an island in the middle and everything. The counters are covered with alcohol bottles and snacks -monsters don’t play around, it seems. And of course, the thing you don’t want to see is there. The skeleton is leaning against the island, opposite the fridge, looking down at his phone.

Why come to a party if you’re just going to stay in the kitchen?

Not wanting to ruin your good mood, you decide to just ignore his presence, and walk over to the fridge. Looking in, you find the remains of your bottle of human liquor. Probably just enough for one more glass. Damn. Grabbing it, and a soda, you place the items on the island and prepare to make your drink in silence.

It’s then that you notice another cup. It’s on the other side of the island, near the skeleton. Hm. It looks pretty full. Probably just poured.

…

Do you do it? Your heavily injured pride wants you to do it.

….

Sensing an opportunity, you reach far over the island and grab his drink, quickly sliding back out of reach.

“the f*ck?” The skeleton looks at you.

“Payback, bitch.” You respond, words maybe coming a bittoo easy from the alcohol.

A moment of silence, then his grin returns. “fine. drink it then.” He says it like a challenge, which…frightens you a bit. You look down at the drink. Is it…toxic or something? It looks normal enough, exactly what the monsters had been drinking in the livingroom. A quick shake of the cup shows it to move like normal alcohol.

You glance out the archway, where the other monsters are. It’ll be fine. Right? f*ck it. You take a small sip at first, just in case. It tastes…delicious, actually. Surprised, you look up at the skeleton, before taking another sip. It goes down smooth, warming you from the inside.

“Dude, human stuff is way worse than this baby sh*t.” You say, unable to resist even the smallest jab. “I could drink you under the f*cking table.”

“oh yea?” His grin widens, eye lights intensifying “wanna bet?”

“You know what.” You grin. “Sure. Let's go Sans.”

The mention of his name has the desired effect. The skeleton looks actually surprised. Sadly, it only lasts a moment, before his expression falls back into its typical smirk. “so ya asked the cat?” He says.

You shrug, giving nothing.

“alright.” Sans places two hands down and leans against the island, his large body allowing him to cover almost half the distance over it. “whats yer name, then? only fair.”

You remain silent, not wanting to give up something you have over him. Even if it's something as small as your name. It doesn’t take long for the skeleton to realize you’re not going to speak.

“well.” He starts, voice rolling deep. “i’m sure i can come up with somethin’ to call ya if you wont tell me.”

….wait.

“sweetcheeks, doll, sugartit*, bitch, cumdr-”

You jump forward as the names become increasingly insulting, practically climbing onto the island to slam your hands over the skeletons mouth. “No no no! Absolutely not!” You frown. “What the actual f*ck is wrong with you?!”

It’s only then that you realize just how close you’ve gotten to the large monster. You look at him with wide eyes. Up close, you can see the various scratches along his skull, and have a front-row seat to those red eye lights growing in size. Weird.

There is movement under your hands as he grins. Then, a wet feeling slides across your palm.

“Ew, what the f*ck.” You jump back, just barely keeping yourself from falling. You look down at your hands, noticing that they are wet and tingly. How the…?! But he’s a skeleton ?! You look back up at that satisfied face. “Did you just...lick me?!”

“What the f*ck am I walking into?” A new voice interrupts whatever Sans is going to say. You look over, eyes widening at the huge fish-lady walking into the kitchen. Woah. She’s ripped.

Sans straightens up, no longer leaning across the island. “why’re you here?”

The fish monster waves away his question. “Not important. What I want to know is who are you?” She looks directly at you, pointing. “And what, exactly is happening here?”

Feeling oddly intimidated, you give in immediately and introduce yourself. “-and, uh, nothing’s happening exactly.”

“Uh-huh.” She doesn’t sound like she believes you. “Well, I’m Undyne.” Introduction apparently over, the fish monster heads towards the side of the island that Sans is on. “Mind heading back out there for a bit? I need to talk to this guy.” Why does that sound…threatening?

“Uh, yea. Sure.” You agree, sliding off the island onto the ground. Moving quick, you grab the monster alcohol -your victory souvenir, damnit- and head out of the kitchen. As you walk out the archway, you can’t resist a look back. While you can’t see or hear what they are talking about, Sans looks nervous in a way you’ve never seen him. The look on his face is one of dread, and red sweat (?) beats appear on his skull. Huh.

Well, you decide to not let yourself think too much on that, and head back into the party. The livingroom is pretty much the same, though Aaron is missing from the couch. You plop down beside Guy and BP, happy to not be forced back onto the floor.

“Welcome back!” Guy smiles. “You were gone for a while.”

You shrug. “Did I miss anything?”

“Aaron got a call from his girlfriend.” BP says, smirking.

“Oh yea?” You ask. “Is that…bad?”

A chorus of laughter erupts around the room.

“Oh yea!” Dogamy laughs.

“Shyren’s a bitch.” Dogaressa says. Then she pauses. “Wait.”

You can’t help but laugh, leaning back into the couch to bring the cup to your lips. The monster alcohol tingles as it goes down your throat.

In the end, you’re glad you don’t try to go head-to-head with Sans. Monster alcohol, as you find out, hits a bit later. So despite the total of one human drink and one monster drink that you consumed, you’re already quite passed tipsy. Luckily, you’re not a messy drunk. A bit more introspective, sure, but you’re not exactly planning anything wild.

Still, after a while the heat in the room gets a bit too much. You need fresh air. Standing up from the couch, you mumble a quick ‘be right back’ and wobble your way towards the balcony. The sliding door opens easily, and you walk out.

For a moment you close your eyes, feeling the refreshing cold air hit your skin. Then you open them.

“Oh for f*cks sake.” You immediately groan.

He’s here.

Sans looks over at you from his position leaning against the railing, those intense red eyes glance at you. He looks…upset isn’t necessarily the word. But something about him looks ‘off’.

“i wouldn’t need ‘ta push ya to hurt ya.”

“Alright, Mr. I’m–so-edgy-and-dark-boohoo.” Too quickly, you turn to face him. You get one brief look at his affronted face before your vision starts to swirl from the movement. It takes you a moment to collect yourself before you continue. “Of course I know that most of the monsters in here could hurt me. I’m not f*cking dumb.”

…or at least you think that's what you said. The skeleton doesn’t react to your words, but his eyes move up and down your body. “monster alcohol was too much for ya, huh?”

Completely derailed, and brain simply not backwards compatible at this point, you simply react. You gesture at his large form. “Yeah. Well, I’m not built like a f*cking double…double-door fridge.”

The skeleton snorts, but doesn’t respond. That’s…surprising. Nice, but surprising. You turn away from him and look out. It’s dark in Monstertown, the streetlights don’t remain on after a certain time, but the human side is lit up like a christmas tree. You wonder why. sh*t, you really need to do more research into this kind of stuff.

A shuffling sound makes you look back over. Sans is also looking out, lost in thought, as he flips a cigarette through his bony fingers. Without even really thinking about it, you reach into your pocket and grab your lighter. “Here.”

“huh?” The skeleton looks surprised by your offer, but takes it. It looks almost comically small in his fingers, but it works. The cigarette lights to life. He passes the lighter back to you quietly.

Sans takes a deep hit, and when he exhales, you’re surprised to see a plume of red smoke go up into the sky. It swirls unnaturally, creating almost sparkly patterns of red in the wind, before slowly disappearing. You watch it with wide eyes, leaning forward against the railing as if to somehow get closer. It's like your woozy mind is completely entranced by the sight. It's beautiful...huh.

You don’t remain on the balcony for too long, but the time you do spend there is unexpectedly peaceful. Neither of you speak another word, too lost in thought.

Oh god, it's way too late.

You’re in the kitchen, grabbing a snack, when you see the time on the oven. sh*t. You really need to get home. It’s either that or pass out here, which, as nice as everyone has been…no. Just no. With an internal groan, you toss your cup in the garbage and head back out to the livingroom.

It’s quieter than before: Aaron left after the call with his girlfriend, and Dogaressa and Dogamy disappeared while you were outside on the balcony. Nobody seems to know where they went, and nobody seems worried. Sans, also, never returned from the balcony, but you didn’t actually see him leave. Must have been when you were in the bathroom or something.

Undyne had already taken your spot on the couch when you returned from the livingroom, so you took the chair. She’s in the same spot, chatting with BP and Guy when you come out of the kitchen.

“Hey.” You say. “I’m gonna get home now.”

“Uh.” Guy looks at you, both eyebrows raised. Then he elbows BP.

The cat monster narrows his eyes when elbowed, but the frown on his face was there before. “You sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’m fine!” You nod.

The cat monster doesn’t look convinced. You’re about to say more, when another voice pipes up. “I’ll take you back.”

You blink slowly, fuzzy brain taking a moment to realize what Undyne had said. “What?” Then it clicks. “Oh. No. You don’t need to do that.”

“I do.” She stands, stretching her back. “I’m staying at the resort anyways.”

Well, sh*t. With no other reasonable argument popping into your mind, you can do nothing but accept that you’re about to walk home with this monster. You say goodbye to the remaining monsters, before turning to BP and Guy.

“Thanks for inviting me.” You smile at your friends. “It was fun.”

“Definitely!” Guy smiles back. “I’ll let you know when we’re having the next one.”

f*ck yea! You give a thumbs up to BP, who just rolls his eyes. You don’t expect anything else.

After that, you get ready in silence, sliding on your shoes. With a quick wave, you and Undyne head out. The two of you quickly exit the building and make your way down the dark streets towards MTT Resort.

You think, maybe if you were sober, you’d be too intimidated to actually speak to her at all. God, you really don’t intimidate easily, but something about this woman has you on edge.

But you’re not sober.

“So…are you…working at the resort?” You ask.

“What?” Undyne looks over. “Pfft, that sh*thole? No way!”

“You ask a lot of questions, human.” Undyne responds, looking at you through the corner of her eye. The suspicion is clear in her voice, which you can understand.

You shrug. “I live in Monstertown with a bunch of unsocial monsters. If I don’t ask questions I never get to know anything.” As you walk, you kick a small rock, watching it roll into a newarby alley. “That’s how I became friends with BP. Just annoyed him ‘till he gave in.”

“Hah!” She laughs. “Guess that’s true.” A pause. You look over. The clear suspicion is gone from her voice, though you doubt it's’ that easy to win this monster over. “I live in Ebott.”

“No sh*t?” You reply. “That’s cool. Why’re you here then?”

“Monster business.” She says vaguely. You know better than to push on that. Luckily, she continues. “I’m here with my girlfriend.”

Undyne smiles. “Stars, it’s been years now.” Apparently, you’ve found the golden ticket. Asking about her girlfriend is the way to go. Undyne goes off on a tangent, explaining just how smart and passionate her girlfriend is. You get to walk in silence and just listen to her words.

“-and now she gets to work with Asgore on the special projects in Ebott and I can’t be more proud-”

Asgore. You’ve heard that before.

You blink. “Wait, the King? ”

She doesn’t seem to care that you interrupted, luckily. She just responds. “The King, yea. Why?”

“Holy sh*t…” You mumble, eyes wide. The King of all monsters. He looked terrifying in every picture you’ve seen. Definitely a monster you have every intention of avoiding. “That's…really cool!” You try. “You’re lucky to know someone like that!”

She snorts. “Well, I’m definitely lucky, but not because of-” A pause. “...do you know who I am?”

Uh… is this a trick question?

“You’re…Undyne?” You answer, voice echoing your confusion.

She stares at you, eye wide. “Wait. Did you really not do a lot of research before moving here?”

“...no?” You respond. “I mean, not really. I looked up like etiquette and stuff. Just enough to live here in peace.”

“Hah!” Suddenly she laughs. “f*cking hell, human.”

You don’t really have a response for that, so you walk alongside her in silence -feeling dumb for a reason you don’t even know- as she laughs. Eventually she calms down. “Well, I can get behind that level of bravery!” She looks over at you. “You got guts, kid.”

“Thanks?” God, are you not following this conversation because you’re drunk or is she just confusing as all hell??

The two of you reach MTT resort not long after that. You pause in the lobby, deciding that for once you might take the elevator. The stairs just…don’t feel like a good idea right now. Not with the way your head spins.You could see yourself missing a step and face-planting on the concrete steps. You do notneed any facial bruises. As Undyne goes to walk towards the stairs, you speak up.

“I'm gonna take the elevator." You say, turning towards your unlikely companion. "Thanks Undyne, for walking back with me. I appreciate it."

“Don’t worry about it!” She pats you on the back, hard. Ouch. “See ya later, punk!” With that, she starts towards the staircase.

“See ya…”

The elevator thankfully works fine, and you make it to the third floor in piece. Without the cold air to wake you up, you find you are wobbling a bit more on your way to your room. You fumble a bit with your keycard but manage to get in just fine. Once you do, you immediately collapse on your bed.

It doesn’t take long for you to fully pass out.

Chapter 3: Monsters Don't Lose Bets

Chapter Text

You are not at all hungover the next day; no headache, no nausea, nothing. Maybe you’re a bit dehydrated, but after last night that’s just a small consequence. It’s a relief really, considering your early shift, but also super f*cking weird. What you are, however, is absolutely exhausted. So you stand at the reception desk feeling like a zombie and stare into space.

It’s too early in the morning for any guests to arrive, so it’s just you and the janitor in the lobby. The janitor -some sort of gooey monster that makes just as much of a mess as he cleans- hasn’t exactly been receptive to your attempts to chat. You’re starting to think it's more that he doesn’t speak at all than anything else, as ever since the monster staff got the fifteen minute break, your area has been practically sparkling and if there’s ever a mess, he’s right there.

You watch him work absently, and with nothing else interesting to focus on, your tired mind starts to relive the party. Damn. Such a weird night. A good night, for sure, filled with a lot of laughter and fun. You definitely made a few more friends, which is a great thing for your social life in Monstertown. But, there were definitely some odd moments too: walking home with Undyne, sharing your lighter with Sans on the balcony and…well, whatever the f*ck happened in the kitchen.

As the memories play in your mind, you feel like almost cringing into yourself. What the hell had you been thinking?! Many of the sh*tty decisions you made last night definitely wouldn’t have been made if you were sober. Okay, sure, you might have gone up to Sans and tried to mess with him a bit at work, but that is nothing near to actively antagonizing him and putting your hands on him. Not to mention drinking out of a random solo cup? Just how invincible do you think you are?! Who knows what the f*ck was in there?! Sure, it turned out alright…but it easily couldn’t have.

You swallow, mind going off in a tangent of ‘what could have happened’. As much as you want to completely trust BP and Guy, you’ve only known them for a few months, and you literally just met the other monsters at the party. You were lucky, really. Lucky that either nobody wanted to hurt you, or do anything worse.. BP’s words from earlier flicker through your brain.

“You have no idea just how lucky you are, little buddy.”

Letting out a long sigh, rubbing your face as you try to push your circling thoughts from your brain. No. You’re definitely going a bit too far in the other direction now. Sure, you made some dumb decisions…but that doesn’t mean anyone was necessarily out to get you. You’re allowed to trust in people. You have to be a bit smarter in the future, but you don’t want to close yourself off to people. That’s not going to happen again. You came here to live , not to become a damn hermit.

Something that Undyne said on the walk home sticks out in your mind.

“Wait. Did you really not do a lot of research before moving here?”

You really are walking around here with blinders on, aren’t you? When you moved to Monstertown, you didn’t really do much research, other than basic etiquette and where to apply for a job. It had felt odd to you to look into any specific monsters in the area…considering everything. The only monsters you really knew beforehand were Mettaton and the monarchs, but, well, everyone knows them.

Pressing your lips together, you open up Goggles on your work computer. Chandace wont really care. You type in ‘Undyne’ and hit search.

Wow. Her face pops up immediately, along with a Wiki page. You stare down at the computer in surprise. So, you really should have known who she was beforehand, then? sh*t. Is she famous or something? You click on the wiki page. The page that comes up is not huge by any means, but the information on there is shocking.

Undyne (birthdate unknown) is a known monster, currently serving as the Captain of the Royal Guard, under its king, Asgore.

Well, sh*t. You click on the link for ‘Royal Guard’

The Royal Guard are an elite group of monsters dedicated to defending monsterkind and protecting the King and Queen.

Your hand shakes a bit. That’s who you were walking home with?? Likely one of the strongest monsters? The damn Captain of their Royal Guard?!

…no wonder Sans seemed a bit worried to see her at the party.

According to the Royal Guard page, most of the members are still active, but only a few are ‘known’ outside of monster society. A small section below is titled ‘Notable Royal Guards’. There are only a few names there: Greater Dog, Papyrus and RG02.

Greater Dog…?

You think of Lesser Dog at the party. The little pup who cuddled in your lap and whined for treats. There is no way…right? The same part of you that kept you from doing research beforehand screams at you not to look any further; you wouldn’t want people looking into you, right? But…well…last night proved that you maybe need just a bit more information if you want to live here unscathed.

You click on the link, and prepare yourself for heartbreak. The page that comes up is both a relief and a concern. That’s definitely not Lesser Dog, thankfully, but the fact that you are now staring at a picture of a different dog in really buff knights armor remains confusing as hell. How does that even work?? There isn’t much of a bio for Greater Dog, it just states the name and that they are a member of the Royal Guard.

Deciding to think a bit less of that, you go back to the previous page and click on an unknown name.

That's…a skeleton. Huh. Well, definitely not Sans. This monster is tall like Sans, but definitely a lot thinner. He’s, uh, actually kinda terrifying looking, with the scars over his eye and scowl in every photo. It’s kinda like taking a photo of Sans into photoshop and just sharpening him 100%. Are they related? Hm. You blink. Wait…is it, uh, speciesist to assume the skeletons are related? sh*t.

This monster, Papyrus, has a much bigger bio than Greater Dog, or even Undyne really. Apparently this thin skeleton is also a…lawyer? Well, he'd certainly intimidate you in a court. Hah. He seems to be the main lawyer at all the different Monster Rights court cases, defending and advocating for monsterkind and the monarchs. Even his picture at the top right is him in court, standing straight up at the podium pointing at something out of frame.

From there, you kind of end up on a bit of a deep dive into monster rights. You’re surprised to find out that monsters don’t legally have everything yet: the right to marry, the right to vote, the right to own land outside of Ebott, etc. You really had thought that they were much closer. Guys’ comment on monsters being unable to buy alcohol rings a bit differently now. sh*t, it seems like even the smallest thing is a fight for them.

Eventually, a guest does come up to the reception desk, so you have to exit your search. As usual, the moment one guest comes, they all do. It’s never in a nice, even fashion. So, you are busy for hours. Ugh. It does die down a little bit after noon, so you pop into Chandace's office and let her know you're going on break. The hand monster looks busy at her desk, and just waves a finger at you silently -you still haven't really figured out her motions- so you shrug and assume thats a 'go ahead.

On your break, you take a walk through the park, hoping the fresh air will help calm your mind. As you turn the corner, your eyes immediately focus on the spot that you were humiliated for the second time with mustard.If I had a nickel for every time I embarrassed myself over a condiment I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but its weird that it happened twice. Luckily, the area isempty: no stand and no skeleton. You don’t think you’ve seen the guy or stand return to the park since.

The memories of last night's actions come back full-force. You slow to a halt and look up at the sky. Even taking away the riskiness of your actions, they were still embarrassing as hell. Rude too. sh*t. Should I apologize? Despite being an asshole, he dealt with some random human stealing his alcohol and putting their hands on him pretty well. He had plenty of opportunity and motive to hurt you, and also noticeably didn't push you off the balcony. And if the skeletons are in any way related, Sans could have friends/family/something in high places.

Letting out a deep breath, you look back in front of you and resume walking. An apology might be taking it too far, especially considering the guy still is an asshole. But, neutrality maybe? That could be good. Hm.

You think about that a bit as you walk back towards MTT Resort. As it starts to loom above you, you find yourself slowing. It’s such a nice day, and you really don’t want to go back. Unfortunately, you do have to work to live and too soon you are at the door to the building. You take in one last breath of fresh air before grabbing the handle to go back inside.

“Hey! Punk!” A familiar voice.

You pause, looking around. It’s Undyne. Captain of the Royal Guard , Undyne. sh*t. She’s marching towards you. You immediately freeze, mind focusing on things you’d rather not: her muscles, her sharp teeth, the obvious strength she has in every movement, and the way she could easily disembowel you. All the fun stuff.

“Uh, hi Undyne!” You smile, words maybe a bit shakier than intended.

The monster stops in front of you, narrowing her eyes. Then, she smirks. “You looked me up, didn’t you?!” When you just nod sheepishly, she laughs loudly, hands on her hips. “You know, if I wanted to kill you, I definitely would have done it last night. Not now-”

Okay…true. That makes you calm a bit.

“-not that anyone here could stop me-”

Great.

“-I mean, you’re just one weak little human. The f*ck would you do to stop me?!”

…

“You little sh*ts have nothing. No magic, no claws, no muscles-” She rants, her eye a bit unfocused, as if she’s not even seeing you, but others.

“Undyne.” You interrupt, watching as her gaze immediately locks back on you. Spooky. “That’s, uh, really not really helping right now.”

“Hah! Right.” She grins, and you get the feeling that she definitely enjoys that she’s freaked you out. “Anyways, yes, I wanted to ask you something!”

…

Oh, she’s not continuing. You prompt. “Uh, go ahead?”

“Let’s exchange numbers.” Undyne commands, not asks. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a phone, hitting a few buttons before shoving it towards you expectantly. Pinned under that gaze and feeling incredibly like prey, you really don’t have another choice. Taking the phone from her hand, start to add your contact information.

“Undyne!” A new voice calls. Looking up, you’re surprised to find the voice coming from a smaller voice further away: a yellow lizard looking monster with glasses.

“Aw, sh*t.” Undyne mutters, a weird nervous energy to her all of a sudden. She practically shoves the phone back into your hands. “Gotta go! I’ll text you. You better text back.”

…and she’s off. As quickly as she came. You watch as she quickly makes her way over to the other monster before stopping beside. The lizard monster turns to look at you for a moment, but with the distance and those large glasses, you have no idea what expression they have. You give a small awkward wave, but the monster turns away.

The two walk off. You watch them until they disappear around a corner and head back into the resort. You head back to the reception desk. It’s maybe half an hour later when your phone vibrates.

New Message

[Unknown Number] Hi Punk!!!!!!

With a small smile, you quickly add her contact in and respond.

[You]: Hi Undyne : )

[Undyne]: It’s Undyne

[Undyne]: The f*ck?!!!! How did you know????!

You chuckle, and respond.

[You]: Lucky guess.

2 Weeks Later

Undyne proceeds to message you at least once a day after that. It’s surprising, not just in how chatty the fish monster is, but as to how mundane the topics are. They are pretty surface level; she mostly chats about her day, asks about yours or goes on surprisingly sweet rants about her girlfriend. You had wondered at first, if her getting your number was some odd attempt to get information or something out of you. Not that you had any information that couldn’t be found online. But the idea that Undyne, Captain of the Royal Guard, just wanted to chat seemed…impossible.

Why talk to you ? You have no idea. Certainly there must be more interesting people around her. Despite thinking about it for a long while, you can’t really come up with any reason why the Captain would want anything to do with you. Part of you wants to just ask, but the larger part doesn’t want the answer. Even if you are right, and she really is trying to get something from you…you’re not certain that you really care.

After all, you’re getting something from this too. You’re getting a type of interaction that you didn’t realize you were missing. It’s just…nice to talk to someone like this. BP isn’t one for small talk, and you realized quickly that you didn’t actually get any of the other monster’s numbers at the party. But here is someone who is just willing to chat. You wonder if, maybe, this could grow into some sort of friendship. A transactional friendship, possibly, but one nonetheless.

Sort of friends with the Captain of the Royal Guard. Holy sh*t.

It’s been about two weeks since the night of the party, and honestly, you have pretty much moved on from it. Of course, remembering your stupidity will always bring back a pang of embarrassment, but with your new lease on life to be smarter, the odd texting with Undyne, and no skeleton sightings, you really haven’t had a reason to relive the memories anymore.

So, when you’re wandering around alone at the park on your break, and you see a familiar stand set up, you are pretty surprised.

There he is, as massive as usual. He looks almost asleep, leaning against his hand on the stand with his eye sockets practically closed.

…

sh*t. What was your plan here again? To somehow become neutral with this monster? To try to smooth things over and not be on his bad side? Right. And how the hell did you plan to do that? Taking in a small breath, you text the only two people you think could have any input into this situation.

[You]: Hey, Sans is back at the stand. Should I go try to smooth things over with him?

Copy. Paste. Now just wait.

The responses come surprisingly quick, your phone vibrating twice in your hand.

[BP]: what? f*ck no

[Undyne]: Of course!!!! Don’t be a little bitch!!!! Be strong and forward!!!!

Well, cool, that was useless. You pocket your phone with a deep sigh. Okay, think. Do you even want to smooth things over with the guy? Eh. Maybe? It certainly would make living here easier, especially as he seems to be a regular around the area. Though, hypothetically, you probably could just try to avoid him for the foreseeable future. There’s no reason you have to interact with the skeleton. Maybe you can just…leave him alone and let things simmer down.

…no, that’s dumb. You’d be setting yourself up for a harder time for no reason.

You look back over to the stand, startling slightly as you notice those eye lights staring straight back at you. Oh. He’s awake. His mouth ticks up into a grin, and you instantly have to fight off the urge to flip him off. This is going well already. You think sarcastically.

You take in a deep breath to center yourself. Okay. You’re going to do this. You are going to have a good -or at least neutral- interaction with the skeleton if it kills you! Maybe it’s a good thing that he showed up today of all days. You had been planning on buying a quick lunch from the Emporium on the way back from your walk -the last of your groceries had been used for dinner last night- so you are pretty hungry. Maybe it’s finally time to try one of those locally famous ‘dogs.

Swallowing your pride, you approach the stand.

“back for another?” The skeleton asks, not moving from his lazy stance.

sh*t. You forgot just how much seeing this guy's skull and hearing his voice immediately puts you on edge. Ugh, this isn’t fair.

“Can I have a ‘dog?” You ask, attempting a polite voice and even a small smile. Hah! Success!

…

The skeleton seems fully awake now. His eyes are fully opened, giving you a surprised look that you don’t fully understand.

“Uh…hello?” You prompt, using your best customer service voice. Don’t fail me now.

The grin returns, and he looks as if he’s figured something out. Uh oh. “arn’t ya missin’ somethin’?” He drawls. What? When you give him a confused look, he continues. “an important part of a request.”

It takes you only a moment for his words to click. Immediately you feel your back straighten. Oh, f*ck you f*ck you f*ck you. “Please.” You say through gritted teeth.

“sure, since ya asked so politely.” He chuckles, reaching into his cart for the food. “lemme guess, lotsa mustard?”

“Just the regular amount.” You grumble.

He thankfully remains silent as he puts together the ‘dog. It only takes a moment, and soon he’s holding out a normal-looking hotdog with a normal amount of condiments. You can’t help but feel a bit suspicious as you take it from him. Staring at it for a moment, you take a small bite.

Oh. sh*t. Everyone was right.

The flavour immediately hits your tongue. It’s good. Really good. Better than any hotdog has the right to be. Must be the magic. Letting out a small sound, you take another bite.

“ya really like that ‘dog, huh?”

You look back up, catching his amused expression. sh*t. Heat fills your cheeks and you flip him off, swallowing the bite in your mouth. Well, the attempt at smoothing things over is officially ruined. You’re already resorting to your own ways. “f*ck off. Who wouldn’t like a good ‘dog?!”

He hums, leaning back on the stand. Those eye lights look you up and down.“im more of a puss* guy myself.”

…uh, what?! You stare at him, feeling like an electric shock goes down your spine. The f*ck?! The moment only lasts a second longer, as that intense look leaves his eyes, his grin sharpens and he points down at the sign.

You follow his pointing finger, reading the sign. On the sign, just underneath ‘dog is… ‘cat.

….

Hot cat.

…

sh*t. The sharp sound that forces its way out of your mouth is a surprise, and the continued sound even more so. That dumbass joke hits you probably much harder than normal due to the ridiculousness of the entire situation. With your free hand, you cover your mouth, trying to stifle the unexpected sound.

Sans stares at you, also apparently not expecting that reaction. It takes you only a moment or so to get yourself under control, and your laughs turn into an awkward cough. You look back up at that pleased expression and for once don’t feel the urge to escalate the situation at all. In fact, now is probably a good time to leave.

“Uh, well, I gotta go back.” You mumble, starting to step away when you remember. “Oh sh*t. How much is it?”

“two.”

Well, that’s reasonable enough. You reach into your purse with your free hand and grab a two. It’s only as you’re passing it into his -massive wtf- outstretched hand when something else pops into your mind. “Wait. Did you really up-charge me eight for mustard?!”

That smug look returns. He shrugs. “well, ya paid it.”

“f*ck.” You mutter, dropping the money into his hand. “I guess I did.”

There is a moment of silence as he slides the money into something on his side of the cart. “Anyways, uh, thanks for the ‘dog.” You say. “So, yeah…bye then.” What the hell was that?!

“bye, sweetcheeks.”

You give him one last glance before walking away. The nickname surprises you. Not that he said it, but that it didn’t feel like an insult this time. This time felt...different.

The ‘dog is half-way gone by the time you reach MTT resort. You walk in and head straight to the Emporium. Even if you’re not buying something, you plan to spend the second half of your lunch there with the cat monster. You don't have enough snark in your life, apparently.

“Why even ask me?” BP mutters as you walk up to the counter.

“Huh?”

He looks down at your ‘dog. Oh…

“Uh, sorry?” You smile sheepishly. “But you were right! They’re really good!”

“...did you smooth things over at least?”

You blink. Did I? Honestly, you’re not too sure. At the very least, the end of the conversation wasn’t horrible, you think. You do feel better than before.

“Uh, maybe.” You mutter. “But anyways, enough about that! Any other monster food you think I need to try?”

The cat monster gives a long-suffering sigh, and allows you to change the topic.

1 Week Later

Sans doesn’t return.

It’s not that you think you have any sway in the skeleton's life, really, but something about the last interaction had you fully believing he’d show up more often. So when you walk into the park and see no stand day after day, you can’t help but be surprised. It gets to the point where you ask BP about it, but the cat monster only gives you an odd look and asks why you even care. You…don’t have an answer to that.

Why do you care? Why are you looking? Why does it even matter? You’ve already done your job of trying to make things as smooth as possible with the guy. Honestly, you’re not entirely sure it can be anything more neutral with both of your personalities. The last interaction showed that. So, now you can just go about your business as normal.

…maybe this is the universe telling you to just mind your own business and move on.

Which, fair enough universe, you agree. So, you actively stop looking at the spot where the stand was when you walk through the park, refuse to think about the party or the damn joke or the way he said ‘sweetcheeks’ and just…move on.

Life goes by normally: you work, snark with BP and text with Undyne. The fish monster has gone back to Ebott, but continues to text you every day. It’s been almost a month now, and the topics remain surprisingly normal. You find yourself really starting to hope that she doesn’t have any underlying plans. God, you’ll feel like such an ass if she does.

Another person you get to text now is Guy, which is exciting. The bunny monster is always such a delight. It took a while to get his number, you had to practically jump in on BP’s phone call with Guy to get it. While the cat monster was quick to get the phone back and hold it above his head, he wasn’t quick enough to cover the microphone. Once Guy knew you wanted his number, BP pretty much had no choice.

You were smug about that little victory for most of the week.

So, yea, life is going remarkably smoothly. Which, of course, is when something has to change.

You’re at work, as usual.

It’s a hot day outside, which normally doesn’t bother you -it's nearing the end of summer, so you’ll take whatever heat you get- as MTT Resort has great temperature controls. It’s probably necessary due to the different needs of the guests. So, normally, even if it’s hot as hell outside, you’re safe and cool here. But not today. Not today, when the air conditioning is down. Not when the entire building feels like it’s melting. Not when guests are almost planning a revolt, and honestly you’re right with them.

“It feels like I’m back in Hotland!” The monster in room 402 screams at you through the phone. You grimace and hold the phone a bit further from your ear.

“Yes, I understand.” You reply. “We’ve called someone to fix it. They will be here soon.” You look at the front door. Please be here soon!

After another few minutes of ranting and you are able to hang up. sh*t, it’s times like this you wish the monsters were still too shocked to speak with you. Ugh. You take another sip of -sadly lukewarm by this point- water and wipe at the sweat on your forehead. This f*cking mechanic can’t come soon enough.

As if you summoned someone, the front door opens. You straighten up, leaning forward as you wait for whoever it is to come in. Please be the mechanic. Please be the mechanic. Please!!

…

The f*ck?! In walks probably the last person you expected to see right now. You blink a few times in confusion as the large skeleton walks in through the door.

Sans looks just as you remember him, even still wearing that damn jacket -which… how?! He looks around the lobby lazily for a moment, before his eye lights land on the reception desk. He seems to almost straighten up, heading your way.

“The f*ck have you been?” The words are out of your mouth the moment he walks up.

He grins. “what? miss me?”

“Absolutely not.” You deadpan. “I was just wanted some puss*.” The words are out of your mouth before you even get to think of them. Your eyes go wide, and your cheeks turn red… i’ll blame that one on the heat.

The skeletons' eyes also widen at your words, and he lets out a loud laugh. It surprises you, along with a few monsters milling about in the lobby area who had started to look a bit concerned. “f*ckin’ hell, sweetcheeks, ya really don’ got a filter, do ya?”

“Shut up.” You grumble, rubbing at your cheeks and willing the red to go down. I really do! Just…not around assholes like you, apparently. You don’t speak your thoughts. After a moment, the laughter dies down.

“So, uh, what are you doing here?” You ask, changing the topic. ”Not gonna lie, it’s kinda hell in here right now. The air conditioner’s down.”

He raises an eyebrow bone. “im gonna fix it. what’s it look like?”

You blink. “Uh. You??”

“the f*ck does that mean?” He frowns, tensing. You can practically see his metaphorical hackles rising. Ah. sh*t. Yup. That was definitely insulting.

“No, sorry!” You raise your hands up in a placating gesture. “I meant that you work at the hotdog stand. There doesn’t seem to be many uh…transferable skills?”

His shoulders drop. Crisis averted. “nah. that’s my side gig.” Huh?

“Side gig?” You ask. “So…your main job is…”

“a mechanic.” Sans shrugs. “cars, motorcycles, hvac, generators, elevators…anythin’ mechanical anyways.”

“Oh.” You reply, surprised. “That's…pretty cool.”

“Sans, you’re here. Finally.” Chandace pops her…fingers out of the door, interrupting whatever the skeleton was about to respond with. Shame, because the look on his face is something you’ve never seen before. The expression clears quickly, as he turns towards Chandace.

“yup.”

Chandace sighs. “Follow me.”

The two monsters leave without another word, Sans following Chandace down the hall towards the back rooms. You stop watching as they round a corner, turning back towards the lobby. Oh. Uh… The few monsters in the lobby stare at you. You’re used to the staring, of course, but something about this feels different.

The phone rings, you’re saviour from this weird moment. You quickly reach down and pick it up. “Thank you for calling MTT-”

“IS IT FIXED YET?!” A voice screams at you loudly through the receiver.

You look at the Caller I.D: room 402. Damnit!

It takes a long time before anything changes. Long enough that you answer two more calls from room 402. Long enough that the heat in the lobby becomes almost unbearable. Long enough that you say ‘f*ck it’ to whatever Chandace is going to say and start figuring things out on your own.

Not that you can do much, exactly. Your break might be coming up but you know better than to leave early with Chandace still in the backrooms. No, you have to wait here. All you can do is work with what you currently have, and what you have is a professional long-sleeved shirt and long pants. With one last look around the -quite empty- lobby, you start peeling it off, grimacing as the sweaty skin underneath is exposed to air.

It feels a bit weird to be shirtless in the lobby, but you’re wearing a sports bra underneath -thank god for laundry day. It’s a nice sports bra, and has quite a long band at the bottom. It’s fine, practically like a cropped tank top or something. Chandace can kiss your ass if she tries to write you up for this. Next, you roll up the bottom of your pants as much as possible.

Well…it’s something.

The very few monsters in the lobby give you wide-eyed looks as you fix your clothes, but don’t say anything. They look away once you stare back at them. Otherwise, it’s business as normal. You still don't feel good in the heat, but it’s slightly better than before at least.

Maybe thirty minutes later, a mechanical sound echoes through the walls in the lobby. You startle slightly, looking around. As you listen, you start to hear the whirring sound of the air conditioning blades in the vents. Oh my god, I feel like crying. Not that you feel anything right away, in a room this big it’ll take a while before the temperature actually starts changing. Hopefully the rooms will be a bit quicker for some of the guests.

You call Room 402 and let them know the air conditioner is back up -as requested. The guest is suddenly extremely kind and soft spoken, to the point that you start to wonder if you’re calling the right room. You check the caller I.D two times before just shrugging and letting it be.

It’s as you are hanging up the call that Chandace and Sans return. They walk in silence down the hallway, both pausing at the reception desk. You only get a second to see Sans’ surprised expression as his eyes fall on you when the hand monster speaks.

“What are you wearing ?!” She demands, fingers going down to a fist.

Prepared for this, you respond. “I’m wearing something that I’m not gonna melt to death in.”

“That is not dress code.”

“So write me up, but I’m sure there’s some human law that you’d be crossing.” You bluff, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “I’ll put the shirt back on once the temperature gets to a reasonable level.”

…

“You are lucky you’re good for business, human.” She mutters, turning to walk away.

Huh? You look at the skeleton, pointing at yourself. “I’m good for business?”

…

“...Sans?”

“uh…heh…” The skeleton shakes his head, unfocused eyes closing for a second. “what did ya say?”

The hell? You tilt your head and look at Sans. “Are you okay?” Is the heat finally getting to him? A few small red sweat beads have appeared on his skull, and his cheekbones look a little red. “Do you need water or something?”

“im fine.” He mumbles.

“Alright, well…thanks for fixing the air conditioning. Seriously, it was absolute hell in here.” You smile, really meaning it. The cold air feels like it's already reaching you, though that might just be a placebo. You don’t really care. It feels good.

“right, yea. whatever.” He responds, sounding distracted. There is a long pause, where you could swear he mutters a quick ‘f*ck it’ to himself, before he speaks. “when’s yer break?”

You’re a bit thrown by the sudden change in conversation. “Uh, anytime I guess, now that Chandace is back.” A pause. “Why?”

“i don’t wanna leave ya hangin’. ” He looks away, not meeting your eyes. “come by the stand.”

…You feel like you’re missing something. “Huh?”

Finally he looks at you, that grin back on his face. “lets get ya that puss* yer after.”

Pfft! You can’t help but bark out a laugh at that. A hotcat then? You have food already prepared for your break but…you can’t deny you’re unbelievably curious. “Yeah. Sure. When are you there next?”

“i gotta drop stuff off at home first so… ” He looks at his phone. “...less than five minutes?”

You’re sure you heard that wrong. Five minutes?? That's not possible, unless maybe he has the stand already out there and waiting…but it wasn’t there yesterday. When he doesn’t correct himself, you speak. “Didn’t you just say you have to go home first?”

“yup.”

“Even if you lived in the park, that’d be practically impossible.” You frown.

“oh yea?” He grins, leaning against the counter. “wanna bet?” …The flashback to the night of the party is very unwanted right now.

You swallow, pushing that aside. “Hm. Bet what?”

“i’ll be there before ya get there.”

Well, sh*t, you’re not in the business of turning down bets you know you’ll win. “I’d take that bet.” You smirk. “But you gotta be completely set up before I get there.”

He shrugs. “sure.”

“What do I get when I win?”

“a free hot cat.” It’s not much, but you accept it. A free lunch is still a free lunch.

“Alright, sure. What's in it for you then?”

“a drink.”

Huh? You wait for something to come after, but he just looks at you. Those intense red eye lights staring straight into yours. “You…asking me on a date Sans?” You ask, trying to keep your tone as light and joke-y as possible.

“f*ck off, of course not!” He straightens up, voice growing in volume. You're surprised as he starts to ramble. “they’ve just banned me from the bar here, and this city got no grillby’s-”

…Okay, so…he wants you to…get him into the MTT Resort bar? You can do that. That’s not impossible. You shrug, interrupting him. “Sure, a drink it is. You’re not gonna win anyways.”

He blinks a few times, before that relaxed grin returns to his face. “we’ll see. we startin’ the timer now?”

“Hm.” That seems unfair. “I’ll start moving once you leave the resort.”

That grin sharpens. “ya make it too easy, doll.” He steps backwards, lazily turning on his heel to walk towards the front door. “see ya soon.”

You dutifully wait until he leaves before quickly logging out of your account on the computer. You know you’re going to win this. It’s literally impossible for him to get to any home, put away his stuff, get back to the park and fully set up a hotdog cart before you cross the street. Still, his confidence shakes you a bit. You find yourself rushing to Chandace’s door, peeking your head in and telling her that you’re going on break. You don’t even wait for a response before rushing out the door.

The terrible habit that you’ve picked up of not looking both ways in crossing the street is actually a benefit now, as you book it across the empty pavement into the park. A few monsters give you odd looks as you speed walk through the park towards the area you know the skeleton sets up his stand. You turn the corner -

…

He’s there.

You pause, feet skidding to a stop as you stare. What the f*ck?! The skeleton is already looking your way, prepared for your arrival. He grins, waving his fingers in the air.

Completely bewildered, you walk up to the stand. “But…how?”

He smirks, eye lights looking you up and down. “told ya.”

“That’s not an answer…” You grumble, placing your hands down on the stand to look at him with narrowed eyes. The skeleton remains tight-lipped, just seeming amused at your weak attempt at intimidation and eventually you just give in. “Fine. You win.” You sigh, stepping back. Never let anyone say that you’re a sore loser. “So, when do you want that drink then?”

That gets a different expression. For a brief moment, he looks almost panicked, before he schools it back to regular. “not yet, doll.” He says. “i’ll let ya know.”

“Whatever, Mr. Mysterious.” You sigh, rubbing your face. Taking a moment, you look over the sign. “Well…I’m here. Can I have a ‘cat please? Oh, and do you sell cold drinks? I’m thirsty.”

Sans looks like he’s about to say something, but stops himself. Instead, he reads off a small list of drinks he has in his cart. You pick out your favourite and watch the skeleton work. It doesn’t take long, and soon he’s passing you a drink and the ‘cat.

Oh no. It's adorable! You stare down at the ‘cat in absolute joy. Honestly, it looks just like a hotdog, but with little ears and feet and…is that a tail? How the hell do they make these??

Sans chuckles, bringing you out of your reverie. You look up. “Shut up, it’s cute, okay?”

“sure, sweetcheeks.” He responds.

You take a bite, surprised to find that it somehow tastes even better than the ‘dog. What? There’s an additional flavour you can’t exactly put your finger on, but it just pulls everything together. It reminds you of…home…weirdly. You’re not entirely sure how that works.

“aw, no sounds this time?”

You flip him off immediately, glaring at him as he snickers. He doesn’t say anything else, so you get to finish the bite in relative peace. “So…you’re a mechanic but you just moonlight as a hotdog stand guy?”

“yup.”

“Why?”

He seems surprised by the question. “why else, gotta get money somehow.”

“Hm.” You hum as you take another bite, waiting until you swallow before continuing. “I would have thought that being a mechanic would be enough for the bills?”

“maybe for a human.” Sans says. “monsters don’t really have many mechanical things t’ fix.” At your confused look, he continues. “without cars, ya really only need a mechanic when somethin’ doesn’t work, right? how often does that happen?”

Oh…right. “I guess that would slow down business.” You agree. “I hope MTT Resort is paying you well for that at least. You pretty much saved the business.”

He shrugs. “most of it will be goin’ to my bro’s school.” You straighten, ready to ask a probably too nosy question, when he continues. “why do ya work at fer the robot anyways?”

The question completely turns your focus away from what you were going to ask. Work for the robot…? Oh. Mettaton. Right. Technically, you suppose you do, though you’ve never met or even seen the guy.

“Why else?” You smirk, repeating his words right back at him. “Gotta get money somehow.”

Sans eyebrow bones raise, before he chuckles. “fair ‘nough.”

It looks like he might ask another question on that topic, so you quickly interrupt. “Oh sh*t, right. How much for the uh…hotcat?”

He shrugs. “one.”

“Wait, it’s less than a ‘dog?” You ask. He just shrugs again. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, you grab a one from your purse and pass it over. As he's putting it away, you come to the realization that the bet and transaction are over. That's it. You're free to turn around and spend your break elsewhere. No need to remain here with the smug skeleton. But...

I…kinda don’t want to go back. The thought is a surprise, but not wrong at all. It's your break, it's nice out -the breeze cuts through the heat well-, and somehow you are having a surprisingly good conversation with Sans. Hm. f*cking weird, but true. Maybe thats your cue to leave, though? Leave on a high note, before things sour? You look down at the 'cat in your hand and think that its probably the best move.

Still, you find your feet unable to move. Instead, you lean against the cart, already opening your mouth to ask another question. “Soooo, what job has the worst customers?”

Sans looks surprised that you’re still here, which…fair. “the mechanic job.” He answers after a moment.

That's surprising. “Oh yea, why?”

“harder to tell ‘em to f*ck off when they’re payin’ the bills.”

“Makes sense.” You nod sympathetically. “Hm…I bet I have a story that can beat any of yours though.”

“what? f*ck off. no way.” The skeleton shakes his head.

“No no, I’m serious.” You say, waving your hand in the air. “Let me say mine, and then let's see if you can beat it?”

“you’re on.”

Chapter 4: Monsters Don't Play Video Games

Chapter Text

1 Month Later

You are not exactly sure how it happens, but after that day you find yourself in a surprising…acquaintance-ship (?) with Sans. It’s not a friendship, not really. You’re not entirely sure what to call it. It’s not like you see him that much anyways, but when you do it’s always full of bad jokes, snark and competition.

…it’s not awful.

So, when you walk into Guy’s place for another party and see that skeleton on the couch, you don’t immediately groan and turn around. Instead, you greet him just like the other guests and head over to the kitchen to drop off your bags.

The party is smaller this time, with only a handful of guests: BP (obviously), Sans, Aaron, the dog squad and you. That particular guest list confused you at first -while they are good friends with the dogs, you get the impression that neither BP or Guy are overly close with the others- until Guy lets you know that Sans and Aaron live on the same floor and are pretty much automatically invited to any party. It’s the only way they can get away with the loud music.

A few minutes later you make your way back out to the livingroom, red solo cup of human alcohol in your hands. As usual, Dogaressa and Dogamy have overtaken the plush chair. BP, Guy and Sans somehow all fit together on the couch -though with the cat and bunny monsters practically on top of each other. Aaron sits in a kitchen chair dragged out, and Lesser Dog rolls around on the floor, chewing on a dog treat.

“Hey guys.” You say.

“Heyyy~” Aaron raises his own cup, drinking after. Woah. The guy is already well into it, huh? You chuckle and head over, settling down on the ground next comfortably. Lesser Dog immediately climbs up into your lap, yipping happily as you pet them.

Aaron is apparently in the middle of a story, so he quickly jumps back in. You remain quiet, sipping at your drink -you made it too strong, so sipping is all you can do until you get back up to mix it with more soda- and petting Lesser Dog as you try to follow along without prior context. It doesn’t take you long to determine ‘that bitch’ is his girlfriend, or…maybe ex. It’s a bit hard to tell.

The story goes on for a while, as the rest of the monsters nod along or ask questions. You’re skeptical of Aarons reliability in his story, honestly. A lot of what he claims his girlfriend has done seems…extreme…but you decide not to call him out on it. You place your cup on the coffee table and focus your attention on Lesser Dog to give some good scritches. When the dog is practically goo in your lap, you reach back up for your cup. It’s gone. Huh?

You look up, confused expression turning unimpressed quick when you see your cup in a big, bony hand. “I think you have some sort of problem.” You say. “You know, there’s no shame in getting help.”

The skeleton rolls his eye lights, bringing the cup up to his skull. You can’t tell if he takes a sip or just smells it. Huh. Can he smell? He doesn’t have a nose.Either way, he looks a bit disgusted with his decision, and goes to place the cup back down.

You grin. “What? Too much for ya?”

“this is nothin’ compared to monster sh*t.” Sans replies, words echoing your own from last time. “i thought ya learned that lesson last time, sweetcheeks”

Well, the reminder of your sudden drunkenness at the last party is a low blow for sure. Your lips press together as you narrow your eyes. “Okay. Prove it.”

Those red eye lights seem to grow in intensity at your words. His mouth ticks up a bit at the corner as he grabs your solo cup and brings it up to his mouth.

…he takes the entire drink like a shot.

You stare at the guy with wide eyes. sh*t. You can’t even really find it in yourself to feel bested at that. The mixed emotions of impressed and confused are too much. Sure, it was maybe only three quarters full, but that was a pretty damn strong drink. You couldn’t imagine just drinking it all in one go.

Carefully placing Lesser Dog on the ground, you do an odd little shuffle on the ground to get closer to the skeleton. Sans watches you move, raising an eyebrow bone as you settle yourself close to the foot of the couch.

“Okay, probably an insensitive question, but I have to ask.” You say, voice a bit quieter. “How the hell did you do that?”

He stares down at you. “what?”

“I mean, you’re a skeleton.” You elaborate, hands moving in the air uselessly. “Shouldn’t it like…just drip through you or something?”

You can tell the moment he realizes what you’re asking. The confusion disappears, to be replaced by that familiar annoying smirk. He raises a hand in the air, wiggling his fingers lazily. “magic.”

…

You let out a sigh, throwing your hands up in the air. “f*ckin’ fine then. Don’t tell me then.”

“awe, did i hurt ya feelin’s, doll?” He chuckles.

That damn deep, smug voice sends frustration right to your core. You reach your hand out and hit his calf, the only part of him in immediate arms length. Immediately you regret it. Ow. f*ck. That hurt. Right. A skeleton. Pain radiates up your hand into your wrist. You shake it out, turning your glare back up to his face.

Sans’ is looking right back, eyebrow bones raised. “oh no.” He says, deadpan. “you’ve mortally wounded me.”

…Damnit.

You press your lips together, holding back the dumb little laugh that suddenly tries to escape. Nope, you’re not going to give him the satisfaction. Though, by the look on his face, you kinda feel like he already knows. Asshole. You look away, eyes scanning the room for a moment before landing on now-empty cup.

“Well, I better go get another drink.” A perfect escape. Truly.

You push yourself up, grab your cup and make your way back to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, you grab your soda and the liquor, placing it down on the island. You stare at it, contemplating. After accidentally putting too much in your first cup, it’s really not what you want anymore. But, well, it’s all you have.

You’re still there, sadly considering your lack of options, when your vision gets darker. Huh? You blink a few times, before things start to register. A large shadow has covered you and part of the island.

“I think stalking might be joining the list of things to get help for.” You say, turning on your heel to face the skeleton. Your arms cross in front of your chest.

Sans rolls his eye lights. “don’t flatter yerself.” He grumbles. “jus’ finished my own drink.” He definitely has an empty cup in his hand, but you could have sworn it was full just a few moments ago.

The skeleton reaches around you, grabbing a bottle from the island. You don’t move, standing your ground out of some sort of weird determination as he’s forced to move around you to mix his own drink. Hah. Suck it.

But he doesn’t seem to be bothered in the least. He easily reaches around you to put the bottle back. It's only then that he pauses, red eye lights looking down at you. “move over.” He orders. “yer right in front of the last bottle.”

An order? You press your lips together and stay strong. “f*ck off. I was here first.”

He pauses, before that grin ticks up. “what? wanna be near me that bad, sweetcheeks?” Somehow, his voice sounds even deeper. “fine.”

Sans steps forward, large body now just an inch or so away from you. Breath hitching, you naturally lean back, feeling the edge of the island behind you dig into your back. The smell of metal and smoke invades your senses, as everything outside of his body is quickly drowned out.

He doesn’t touch you, at all, actually. Instead he uses his sheer size to his advantage, caging you in to lean over you. It feels almost like time is in slow motion as his big arm moves past your head, reaching for the bottle that had inconveniently been right behind your back.

The skeleton doesn’t step back immediately once he has the bottle. Instead he looks down, taking in your surprised expression and open mouth. He chuckles, and you’re close enough to him now that you practically feel the vibration.

Finally he steps away. It’s over in only a moment, but it feels like it lasts much longer.

You feel the need to escape from whatever this situation has escalated into, but also, naturally, don’t want to leave and let him win again. So you do what any sane person would do in this situation, and try your hardest to push it out of your mind.

Sans pours the bottle into his cup and-

…what.

Suddenly, you do have something new to focus on. You jump on it quick. “Holy sh*t.”

Smoke. No, not smoke, magic. It swirls up from his cup, sparking in the air. Multi-coloured little fireworks. Woah. You stare, amazed.

“what’s got ya lookin’ all doe eyed an’ sh*t?”

You roll your eyes, but don’t take the bait. “Dude, that’s so cool!”

In your peripheral, you watch as he also looks down at his cup. “it’s just magic.”

“Uh, yeah?” You respond, matter-of-factly. “ And it’s cool!”

He snorts. “shouldn’t ya be used’ta magic by now?”

“It’s not like you guys are just going around shooting magic everywhere.” You protest, looking up. “I don’t think I’ve really seen any since I moved here.” It’s not something you’ve really considered previously, but now you feel a bit like you’ve been missing out.

“...what, really ?” The skeleton sounds completely bewildered. You just look at him, not repeating yourself. “well, sh*t, doll, that explains a lot.”

Huh?

Sans looks at your still-empty cup, and lets out a long breath. “f*ckin' hell, i'll make ya one.”

“What?”

A bit of a longer pause, before he grumbles. “‘m not gonna offer again.”

You weigh your options. “...are all monster drinks like that?”

“when ya first mix ‘em, ya.”

…

“Yeah, okay. I’m down.”

The next ten or so minutes is…surprising to say the least. Definitely the longest the two of you have gone without some sort of dig or competition. Sans is surprisingly patient as he explains what each drink is, and its effect. Turns out the one you stole from him at the last party was fire magic. No wonder you were so hot. Huh.

He answers your questions without making you feel dumb or inferior, in a way that makes you feel he definitely has done something like this before, some sort of teaching. Maybe not in an official way -no, you can’t imagine him being an actual teacher- but the patience he shows when you ask a definitely dumb question is telling. Does he…have a kid or something? That’s a weird thought.

In the end, you end up with a drink that is a mix of magic that Sans recommends. You stare down at the liquid swirling in the cup. “...you’re not trying to kill me, right?” You ask, half-joking.

“nah.” He responds, leaning against the island. You wait, expecting there to be some sort of joke at the end of his sentence, but he says nothing else. Instead, he just looks at you expectantly.

You sip the drink, and immediately feel the familiar tingling on your lips. It’s delicious off the get-go. Then things really start going. The fire magic -as you now know- sh*ts first, warming your body quickly as it enters your bloodstream. Almost too hot. Then the ice magic spreads. Slower than the fire magic, but just as strong. It soothes the intense heat everywhere it goes, leaving you just feeling pleasantly warm.

“look at yer hands, doll.”

Looking down at your hands, you let out a small gasp. They’re steaming?! You bring the hand not holding your cup up to your face, watching in amazement as the steam rises from your skin. But that amazement only grows as you look harder. It probably wouldn’t be too visible if you weren’t looking for it, but red and light blue magic swirls underneath your skin, almost like it’s in your bloodstream.

It’s beautiful. It doesn’t hurt at all.

“Is…this happening all over?” You look up at Sans.

“heh. yea. look.” Suddenly there is a phone in your face. You hear the recognizable click of a camera, but before you can even react, he turns it around to show you.

The very first reaction you have is embarrassment at your expression. That dumb, awed expression on your face. But it doesn’t last long. As you focus on the details, your breath actually stops. Holy sh*t. Your eyes are different colours. Both are a swirl of red and light blue. You can imagine that the colours move there just like they do under your skin, but much more vibrant.

You stare at the photo for a bit longer, before looking back up at the skeleton. “Thank you, Sans.” You smile widely. “Seriously, this was really cool of you.”

He blinks, leaning back slightly. It’s only because you’re so close do you notice the slight red on his cheekbones. Huh. Cool that magic affects him like that too!

“we, uh, should go back.” He says.

You agree, and the two of you make your way back out to the party. They’re still chatting as you walk up, but almost all of them pause to look over.

“Sup.” You say awkwardly, uncomfortable suddenly being the center of attention. BP looks between you and Sans as you both approach, raising an eyebrow at you. You just give a shaky smile back.

Lesser Dog whines from the floor. You take the opportunity to sit back on the ground, passing the pup a treat. Sans returns to his spot on the couch. For a moment, nobody speaks.

“UGH!” Aaron groans, tilting his head back. “You won’t believe what that bitch just texted me!”

Aaand the moment is gone. You can’t help but feel relieved that the attention is suddenly off you. You relax and let Aaron take the spotlite. Take another sip of the drink, you glance at Sans in your peripheral.

Red eye lights look back. Startling slightly, you look away.

You’re almost done your cup by the time you hear your name called out by Guy. The bunny monster had disappeared into the kitchen a few minutes ago to get drinks for himself and BP.

“Yea?” You call back, hoping he doesn’t ask you to get up. You’re comfy as sh*t right now.

He pokes his head out from the archway, holding out the reusable bag you brought. “What’s this?”

Oh, right! Suddenly you light up. “sh*t, only the best party game f*ckin’ ever. Bring it over!”

Guy brings it over, setting the bag down on the coffee table with a noticeably dense plastic thump. A bit hard, but this sh*t is practically indestructible. With a grin, you reach in and grab something, holding it up.

The thing in your hand is a came cartridge, with a familiar green iconic figure on the front driving a go-kart.

You look around the room, expecting something other than confused expressions. The penny drops. “Oh. Oh no!” You gasp dramatically. “Am I really gonna be the one to pop all of your Luigi Kart cherries?”

“...Luigi Kart?” Guy asks.

“Mhm.” You nod, taking out the other equipment. “A video game. Kinda like a racing game but with power-ups and you can really f*ck over your opponents.” A pause. “I only have four controllers though so we might have to take turns.”

“I’m in!” Guy smiles. He looks over at BP, who says nothing.

An elbow to the side later and BP sighs, letting out a quiet. “Sure, I’ll play.”

The set-up doesn’t take too long, and the first group of four to play are: Dogaressa, Dogamy, Guy and BP. All of them suck off the bat -which is expected, honestly- but catch on pretty quick. Soon you’re able to stop giving tips and tricks and just let them play.

It's funny to watch them play, even as you quickly become the only one not actively racing.Aaron leaves not too long after the first race to 'go have hatesex with his ex' apparently. Gross, and way too much information. Lesser Dog starts to get a bit whiny a few races in, so Sans agrees to take him out for a walk. You were a bit surprised that Sans of all of them offer, but Lesser Dog seems happy.

…you still don’t really understand if Lesser Dog is a monster or an actual dog.

The racers are just finishing their last race of four (with Guy easily crushing the others) when Sans and Lesser Dog enter the apartment from their walk. Lesser Dog immediately launches into you, post-walk excitement etched into his happy face. You smile and scratch him behind his ear a bit, and he's satisfied enough to lay down again.

“...what’s this?” Sans asks, walking up. Something about him seems a bit off. Hm.

“A game.” BP responds, uselessly, moving to the side to dodge Guy’s elbow as his car turns the corner.

You snort, watching the frustration grow in Sans until you decide to step in. “It’s Luigi Kart. A racing game.” A pause. “They’re just about to be done. Wanna go next?”

…

“C’mon!” You grin. “I can’t wait to wipe the floor with you.”

At that, Sans turns to you, that familiar glint back in his eye. “...yea. alright. lets go.”

The tension of competition grows in you as the other four complete their last race. Guy stands up when he’s announced the winner, cheering. BP claps quietly in the background, expression still not impressed but supporting his partner either way. Aw, they’re cute.

Dogamy and Dogaressa bow out of the next game, wanting to watch instead. BP tries to back out of going again, but is again unable to resist Guys’ pleading. You give Sans a quick explanation of the controls and most obvious power-ups, pass him a controller and start the game.

Feeling merciful, you start on an easy track. This allows Sans a moment to get used to things and you to get back in the swing of it all. By the second round, all ‘training wheels’ are off and you’re actually trying.

Those years of playing as a kid and teen really pay off when you’re able to get around the obstacles quickly and easily surpass the NPCs. Eventually it is you and Guy battling for first place. He’s surprisingly really good, almost instinctually knowing when and where to use his power-ups. You'd be suspicious that the monster lied about playing before if it wasn't Guy.

The two of you lap BP quickly. The poor cat monster has been stuck trying to get enough speed to cross a difficult part. You listen to his defeated sigh as his character fails to jump the full distance again and press your lips together, holding back the laughter.

Suddenly, Sans’ character is in front of you. You’re surprised for a moment, before you notice him being lifted back onto the track by the little cloud. Hah! You’ve lapped him too!? Unable to resist, you jab. “Thought you were good with cars and sh*t, huh?!”

“f*ck you.” He grumbles.

“Nahh. I don’t f*ck losers.” You joke back. When you don’t get any sort of snippy response, you risk a glance over. He’s too focused on the screen, large hands working surprisingly well on the small controller. It's almost like he didn't hear you. Damn. Though, his cheekbones are a bit red. He must have taken another sip of his drink.

You turn back to the screen, just in time to see Guy red-shell you. His character speeds past you. sh*t!

That one race costs you the win.

Guy comes in first place, with you in a close second. BP manages to DNF each race, and Sans sits somewhere in the middle. You give Guy the props he deserves after winning against a seasoned veteran, highfiving him.

After a few more rounds, the bunny monster bows out for a break and heads back to the kitchen. BP follows not long after, likely happy not to be dragged into a third round. With the dogs uh, nuzzling in the chair and BP and Guy now out of the game, you consider just ending the game. Then Sans speaks up. “again.” He grumbles.

You look over, raising an eyebrow “Awe, baby's first word?”

He levels you with an unimpressed glare, flipping you off."another. round."

“What? Want me to absolutely destroy you again?” You tease. “I didn’t realize you were so masoch*stic, Sans.” Your grin widens as you watch the expressions pass through his face: surprise, embarrassment, anger and...something else you can't quite place. Okay, sure, maybe you’re pressing a little hard here, but it’s not like you have too many wins over the guy. You’re relishing the moment, taking what you can get.

Still, that doesn’t mean you’ll leave him hanging for too long. “Yeah, sure. Let me change the settings for two.”

With that, you turn to the game and start messing with the settings. It takes only a minute, before you’re starting up a new match. You switch controllers to ensure you Players 1 and 2 (he insisted on being Player 1, the ass) the correct ones and sit down beside him on the couch.

The two of you play Luigi Kart for the next hour nonstop. The only time you pause is to go get another drink, or use the bathroom. Otherwise it’s pure competition. At first, the other monsters sit and watch, amused by each of your attempts to outdo each other, but they soon get bored and do their own thing.

Sans, to his credit, does actually catch on pretty quick. Soon he’s able to match you easily, and it becomes a true game of Luigi Kart. It gets loud sometimes, as one of you red shells the other or someone is knocked off the side of the road, but…honestly, you’re having a great time. You don’t remember the last time you laughed as hard or as freely, words unfiltered as they fall from your mouth.

Sometimes you both play a little dirty. Once, as you’re trying to aim a green shell at the back of Sans’ character, he shifts his weight. The couch tilts quickly, throwing you suddenly towards him. You land against his ribcage with an ‘oof’, and your character spins off to the side. Your payback was a lot less physical. For the next game, you through any sort of honour to the side and started using the cheats you knew as a kid: the exact way to move or jump over specific parts to skip half the level. The skeleton was fuming when you won before he even made it to the third lap.

You yawn, feeling sleep starting to overtake you as you try to navigate Bowsette's Castle. sh*t, this might be the last round for you at this point. Luckily, you’re on race three of four, each of you with one win. If you get this one, at least it’ll be a tie no matter what. Win one more and you’ll have complete victory. Of course, that’s what you’re going for.

It’s going well, surprisingly. Sans got hit by a Thwump early on and has been struggling in the mass of random NPC’s since. Not an enviable place to be for sure. You soar ahead unbidden by any of that, weaving between obstacles on the roof of the castle. It’s the last lap, so all you have to do is turn a corner and win.

Unfortunately, you were not watching the mini map.

A telltale sound hits your ears, and you instantly panic, sitting up straight and willing your character to go as fast as possible. “No no no no no no no!” Sans laughs beside you.

There just isn’t enough time. Your mouth drops open as the blue shell hits you, exploding your character right before the finish line.

Sans’ character goes speeding by, and his side of the split screen starts showing the ‘FINISH’ icon. Your character finally is able to move again, and is almost overtaken by an NPC before finishing in second place.

You sit back into the couch and turn to Sans. “You asshole! I can’t believe you f*cking blue shelled me at the finish line! ”

He looks at you, takes in your completely flustered expression and bursts out laughing. It’s deep and loud, and surprisingly nice. “what can i say? ‘m here to win.” Sans smirks. Something about that pings oddly at the back of your mind, but you’re much too tired and woozy from the alcohol to think more into it.

“Alright then.” You sit up. “One final match. All or nothing.”

…

“yea, okay.” He nods. “let’s go.”

You press your lips together, fighting back the grin as you pick the one course you previously stayed away from. The one course you thought would be maybe a bit too mean to give anyone on their first day of playing the game -you want them to enjoy it, right?

“the f*ck is this?” Sans narrows his eyes at the screen. “looks like a unicorn threw up or some sh*t.”

You can’t hold back the grin anymore. “Welcome, my friend, to the hell that is Rainbow Road.”

Sans loses. Painfully.

The guy was barely able to stay on the course at all. You manage to fully lap him once, and have the glorious visual of his character falling off the side just as you pass the finish line for the last time. Ah, another victim of Rainbow Road. Sans lets out a frustrated sound, the controller hitting the ground at his feet.

“WINNER!” You whoop loudly, laughing with your hands in the air and legs straight out on the couch as you celebrate your win. Turning your head to your opponent, you honestly expect some sort of ‘sore loser’ expression: anger, maybe, or embarrassment, something like that. But…the look on his face is not that at all. When you turn to face him, smiling wide in victory, you find he’s already looking at you, a complicated expression on his face that you can’t quite place.

It’s only then that you notice just how warm you’re feeling. You’re not sure if it's the fire magic or just the party atmosphere, but suddenly it’s all you can think about. “I, uh, I’m gonna go get some air.”

Sans' only response is a shrug. You slide off the couch and head towards the balcony doors, the sound of your character's victory chant in the background. Reaching the sliding doors quickly, you pull them open and immediately step out onto-

...

Oh.

Oh sh*t.

Your eyes go wide. BP has Guy pressed up against the brick wall, mouth on his neck and hands places you definitely don’t want to see. The next few seconds feel almost in slow motion as both monsters instantly notice your sudden appearance, turning to look at you. Guy’s face goes dark in a full blush and he starts stammering. BP just narrows his eyes, annoyance at the interruption extremely evident in the daggers he’s shooting at you from them.

“sh*t- I’m so sorry!” You start speaking the moment your brain registers what you've walked into. “I-uh, I’ll go back inside!”

But, apparently, the moment is already ruined. Guy firmly pushes BP backwards so he can stand up straight. “N-no don’t worry about it!” His voice is a stammer, entire body tense in panic and embarrassment as he tries to adjust his clothing. "We shouldn't have been- I mean, we're the hosts!" A pause, as his eyes desperately look around for a way out of this situation. "Thats right. I gotta uh, go host now!"

With that, the bunny monster quickly leaves the balcony, brushing by you in his rush back into the apartment. The sliding door closes behind him with a click, leaving youand BP in a very heavy, very awkward silence.

You suck in air through your teeth and look over at your friend. “f*ck. Sorry!” You wince at his unimpressed look. “Didn’t mean to co*ckbl-" You change your phrasing as his look intensifies. "-uh, interrupt your thing going on…uh I can go get him…if you want?” You wave your hands in the air as you speak. “Just, uh, wait here. I’ll go get-”

BP lets out a groan, raising a hand to rub at the bridge of his nose. "Just shut up."

“Yup.” You nod immediately. “Shutting up now.”

He turns to lean against the railing, and the two of you fall into a small silence. Of course, that only lasts a few minutes. Even the you in a normal state of mind would have difficulties being completely quiet about what you just saw, and you are definitely not in a normal state of mind right now, too hyped up on monster alcohol and excitement. BP barely has the time to light a cigarette before you join him by the railing, reaching over with your hand in a fist.

“The f*ck is that?” He looks down at your fist.

You offer a cheesy smile. “It’s uh, props?”

“...for what?” His gaze goes back up to you, suspicion obvious.

Damn, your cheeks are in pain from the effort it’s taking to hold back a grin. “For bagging a cutie like that?”

…

“Awe, c’mon BP!” The grin comes out. “Let’s not make this more awkward. And it’s true, right?”

A long-suffering sigh, and he reaches over to fist bump you. f*ck yea! When he rolls his eyes and turns away to look back over the balcony, you spot a little almost smug smile on his face. Hah. You don’t press it, not now anyways. Tomorrow is fair game though.

The two of you stay there in peaceful silence for what feels like a long time. You smile at the feeling of soft, cool air on your cheeks and look off into the darkness of Monstertown through half-lidded eyes. The cat monster beside you leans further against the railing than you’d ever have the guts to do, letting out a deep breath of air. Smoke drifts from his lips and swirls in the air, making unnatural patterns before disappearing entirely.

It kinda reminds you of the last time you were out here, albeit with a different monster. You tap the pad of your finger against the railing in a little tune, soft enough to not disturb your companion. Tonight has been…surprisingly fun with him. Huh. Weird. Maybe its actually possible for the two of you to get over your f*cked up first meeting...hm...

When BP finishes his cigarette, you both head back inside.

With a groan, you’re suddenly affronted by consciousness.

Opening your eyes, you blink up blearily at an unfamiliar ceiling. Normally something that would bring with it some sort of panic, but you feel much too comfortable and safe for anything like that. As you blink, you look around as much as you can without actually physically moving your head.

Hm. It’s Guy’s livingroom. So, you’re on the couch?

…you fell asleep here, huh.

Normally you wouldn’t do that. Letting your eyelids fall closed, you try to remember how the party ended.

….

Your eyes open.

Did you…doze back off? Damnit. Letting out a small, disgruntled sound, you reach up to rub at your face and will yourself to wake up just a bit more. This time you keep your eyes open as the fuzzy memories start to come back.

The rest of the party had been more chill, but fun nonetheless. When you and BP walked in from the balcony, you practically dragged him to the kitchen and asked him to help you make another monster drink. The cat monster was extra grumbly -‘why the f*ck do i have to do work in my own f*cking house’- but caved in after not too much persuading -’pleaase? I really don’t know what i’m doing. what if I f*ck up? you could end up with a dead human on your hands. you don’t want that, right?’.

With a drink in your hand and two in his, you both made your way back out to the livingroom. He passed one to Guy on the couch before plopping down beside him. Sans is still on the couch, but the dogs had left. That should have been your cue to leave too, right? But you were a few sips into an incredibly tasty drink and were riding high on the great atmosphere in the room. So instead you just took the chair they had left and got comfortable.

The next little bit was mostly you all just talking and listening to music. You did notice that Sans seemed a lot more chatty than before, which was a welcome surprise. Maybe the drinks had finally starting to get to him too.

At some point, Sans plugged his phone into the speaker and the music changed. While Guy and BP had some sort of soft rock something on, this was definitely more heavy. It was good. Really good. You let the others conversation fade into the background as you sip your drink and focus on the music.

And well…that’s about it, really. You don’t remember anything else.

“I can’t get rid of you even after hours.”

You blink, returning from your memories to the present and look back up. Oh. BP. The cat monster is leaning over the back of the couch, looking down at you.

“The second you let me meet Guy, you were done for.” You concede with a sleepy smile. “Now you’re stuck with me. Hah! Sucker.”

“Guess so.” BP sighs, sounding like he’s just agreed to torture rather than a friend, and straightens up. “There’s breakfast in the kitchen.”

You look up at him. “...wait, really?”

He shrugs. “Guy made it.”

Suddenly you feel fully awake. “Oh I’m in!” You sit up…or you try to. The blanket on top of you is tangled in pretty much all of your limbs. The f*ck, were you doing jiu-jitsu in your sleep or something?! Quickly, you struggle to free yourself from the blanket. A bit too quick, maybe, as you lose your balance and slide off the side of the couch, hitting the ground with a soft ‘oof’.

BP snorts. “f*cking smooth.”

“Shut up!” You try to ignore what just happened and push yourself up to your feet (of course the blanket easily comes off now ). “Your cutie made breakfast. I’m excited, okay?!”

He rolls his eyes, and disappears into the archway leading to the kitchen. You want to follow him immediately, but a different need calls. After finishing up in the bathroom, you take a moment to fix your hair in the mirror and collect your phone from the livingroom -it’s almost noon, what the f*ck- before finally making your way into the kitchen.

The scene you walk into is domestic as f*ck. Guy is at the stove, flipping what looks like some very fluffy pancakes. BP stands beside him, side leaning against the counter, chatting quietly as he cuts up some fruit. With both of them shrouded in the soft morning light…it’s absolutely adorable.

“Good morning.” You announce your arrival, not that you really needed to. Both monsters were already in the middle of turning to face you.

“Morning!” Guy smiles. “I hope you slept well? I know the couch isn’t the best but there wasn’t really anywhere else to put you..."

“I slept fine, don’t worry.” You smile. “Thanks for the blanket! It was really comfy."

“Oh that wasn’t me, that was B-” Guy stops speaking suddenly as the cat monster puts a paw on his arm. He looks over, and the two of them seem to share an entire conversation through their eyes. Impressive. When Guy looks back up, his expression is slightly exasperated. “Uh, nevermind. Do you want some pancakes? I know it’s a bit late for them-” He looks over at the clock on the oven. “-but, uh, I thought it would be nice.”

“I’d love some.” You nod. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

BP raises an eyebrow. “Wow, that’s a surprise.” You flip him off.

“Hm, yea, actually.” Guy nods. “Can you grab a few more plates from the cupboard over there? I didn’t grab enough.”

So you grab the plates and help out however possible. Soon enough the three of you are sitting at the little kitchen table eating the fluffiest pancakes you’ve ever had the pleasure of putting in your mouth. You tell Guy that too, in that exact wording. Maybe not the best idea, as the poor bunny blushes darkly again, but you don’t regret it.

Conversation flows easily between you. It’s going well. Almost too well, really. So when both Guy and BP’s phones go off in tandem, you’re not really concerned. It’s probably just a group text or something. You don’t even consider that anything could be wrong until you clock the sudden silence. Looking back up, you frown when you notice that their faces have dropped entirely. Guy's ears are droopy, and BP's are practically flattened to his head.

“Uh…” You start. “Is…everything okay?”

Guy glances up at you, before quietly passing you his phone over the table. You take it, and watch how he leans into BP a bit. You look down at the phone.

BREAKING NEWS: MONSTERS DENIED THE RIGHT TO MARRY

Oh. Oh f*ck.

Glancing back up at the two monsters across the table from you, your heart hurts. Why the f*ck were monsters denied this?! Swallowing, you look back down at the phone and read the small article. At the bottom is a video. You hit play.

It’s a press conference. At the podium is…oh. It’s that tall, scary looking skeleton again. For a moment you struggle to remember the name. Was it Papaya or something? But then his name flashes at the bottom of the screen. Papyrus. Right.

It’s a livestream of the press conference, evidently. BP and Guy watch the same thing from the cat monster's phone across the table.

The skeleton speaks, voice loud in the mic. “Yes! We Are Going To Appeal The Ruling!”

The crowd chitters amongst itself, before someone else speaks. “As I understand it, Monsterkind didn't have marriage underground.”

“You Are Correct, Human. We Did Not Have A Traditional Human Marriage Underground.” Papyrus responds. “But We Had Something…Similar!”

“Then why do you want to use our marriage? Can’t you do your own thing?!” Someone else calls out from the back. “Your kind doesn’t even believe in God!” Wow, 'your kind'? That’s f*cking rude.

“There Are Legal Rights Associated with Marriage Aboveground That We, As Citizens, Are Entitled To.” Papyrus answers.

The conference ends quite shortly after, as the next few questions deviate from the legal aspects and implications of marriage and into religion. As the livestream ends, the kitchen is plunged into silence.

Well…f*ck.

Chapter 5: Monsters Don't Drink Spider Cider

Chapter Text

“Damn…” You whisper, blinking wide-eyed at the screen. You really hadn’t seenthatwild plot-twist coming, though, you’re not sure if it was a lack of cues in the movie or the fact that you’re paying very little attention.

Despite your every intention to relax for the rest of your day off, your mind keeps drifting back to the news from this morning and it fills you with anger. Honestly, you want to gofightsomeone for putting that look on your friends face, for denying them something so simple. Who the f*ck has to fight for the right tomarryof all f*cking things??Have we really learned nothing from the past??

The only slightly not terrible thing to come out of this is a renewed public interest in Monster Rights. The internet seems to have gone wild at the news, rightfully so. Protests have started nationwide, and you’ve read of some being planned overseas as well. Crazy sh*t, but it does give you a little bit of hope that maybe for once humanity can do the right thing in the beginning, can fix this before it tumbles into something worse.

According to the news, the first discussion for an appeal is happening inyourcity next week, at the courthouse in Humanside. It was deemed as a more ‘neutral’ place than Ebott or other human cities. You get the logic, sure, but all it does is make you worry about your home. This renewed interest and the court case is likely to bring humans with both good and bad intentions to the area. Depending on where the hotels are in Humanside, it could only be a moderate walk to Monstertown. Definitely not far enough to dissuade some assholes from deciding it’s worth it to pop over and cause some havoc. Sure, maybe you’re being a bit pessimistic, but you feel a bit protective over your newfound home.

So, yea, you feel pretty stressed, and you spend most of your precious day off marinating in that stress on your bed. You try to watch some shows or get things done, but it feels like every ten minutes or so you’re back looking at your phone for updates. Eventually you give up, put your phone to charge on the nightstand and head into the bathroom to shower. You turn it extra hot, and hope it’ll wash away some of your stress. By the time you come out, you know it hasn’t worked, but at least you’re clean. You’re in the middle of getting dressed when your phone pings.

Quickly you shove on a shirt and,instead of walking around the bed, make the lazy choice to just plop back on the thing and reach for it. It’s a bit of a stretch, but you manage. Unfortunately, the charging cable isn’t long enough, and with the slightest pull, it pops out only to disappear behind the nightstand.f*ck.You'll have to dig for that later.

New Message

[Undyne]:Hey!!!! You have a car right????

You’re not surprised it’s Undyne -the two of you still text quite often- but the sudden question throws you a bit. You type out a quick response.

[You]: Yup

[Undyne]:And you can drive????

[You]:…yea, y?

It takes a moment before the next message comes in.

[Undyne]: I need to ask you something

Well, sh*t. That sounds serious.The words and the lack of punctuation, really. You sit up, rereading the message with a frown. Sure, you’ve been chatting with the monster for a while now, but this seems like a whole other thing. Is Undyne, Captain of thef*ckingRoyal Guard, really askingyoufor a favour??

[You]:Sure, what is it?

[Undyne]:Alph will be at MTT Resort next week for the case and needs a drive to the courthouse on Wednesday!!! Will you take her????

[Undyne]:Normally Mettaton would take her but we’re both stuck in Ebott :)

[Undyne]: sh*t!!!

[Undyne]::( !!!

Oh. You’ve heard a lot about this ‘Alph’ from Undyne since the very first time you met her. Honestly, the idea of it excites you a bit. Quickly you pull up your calendar app. sh*t.

[You]: Sorry Undyne, I’d love to help but I’m working that day.

Incoming Call:Undyne

The call comes almost instantaneously after your text sends. Suddenly you feel nervous. You stare at the phone in your hand and hesitate before picking up. Texting is one thing, but you haven’t actually spoken to this strangely intimidating monster in months.Deep breath.

You answer. “Hi Undyne!”

“Is Chandace your boss?” She asks, straight to business.

“Yea?”

“She’ll give you the day off.”

Um…are we thinking of the same Chandace??You pause for a moment, confused. “Uh, I really don’t know. It’ll be a busy week for the resort. I already got one ‘all hands on deck’ text.” The text was actually a lot more blunt and essentially said that all staff were officially on-call for the next week, but close enough.

A laugh. “Oh she will.”

…well, that sounds ominous as f*ck.“O-oh…alright then.” You concede. “I’ll ask tomorrow.”

“Good!! And-” Suddenly her voice cuts off, the phone making a loud scuffling sound. Ouch. You pull it away from your ear and look at the screen to check the call hasn't dropped or something. Yup, you’re still connected.

“Human?” A voice on the phone. Definitely not Undyne. You hesitate. “Human?!!!” Oh sh*t.

Quickly, you put the phone back to your ear. “Um…hello?”

“f*cking hell-” The voice gets quieter for a moment as they lean away. “-Undyne, are yousurethis is the…fine.”Then they speak into the phone again. “Hello human. My name is Dr. Alphys, Royal Scientist.”

“Oh!” You perk up, suddenly understanding what the f*ck is happening. “Hi Alphys-”

“Dr. Alphys.”

“...Dr. Alphys.” You correct, losing a bit of steam. “It’s nice to meet you!” You try to put some cheer back in your voice. “Undyne has told me a lot about you!”

“...oh, has she?”

“All good things, I promise!” You try, hoping to pull even just an ounce of positivity from this person. “Anyways my name is-”

“I know your name, human.” She interrupts. “What Ineedis to ensure you’ll be adequate transport for next week.”

“Oh, I can assure you that I’m a great driver-”

“Shut up.”

“...kay.” You go quiet, blinking wildly in indignation.Who the f*ck does this monster think she is?Well…the Royal Scientist apparently. That sounds high-ranking as all hell. You make the probably smart decision to push down the frustration and listen to what she has to say.

“Have you ever been pulled over for any of the following: drivers license violations, dangerous driving, stunt driving, driving under the influence or vehicular manslaughter?”

…

“Well?!”

“Uh, no.” You reply truthfully. “Can’t say I have.”

“Hm. Acceptable. Now onto the actual questions.”

Thus began the most oddly stressful evening of your life, as Dr. Alphys continues on for over an hour quizzing you on your driving knowledge and ability. You answer the best you can, and in the end you apparently ‘pass minimum standards’ which is both a relief and kind of insulting. The monster says she’ll text you on the day and to absolutely not be late, before suddenly hanging up.

You pull the phone from your ear to just stare at it, bewildered.What the f*ck just happened??

New Message

[Undyne]:Thank you!!! Alph is a sweetheart!!! I swear!!!

…right.

It’s only lunchtime and you already feel like sh*t. Great.

You had been right yesterday, chaos cannot describe the shift you just went through -and it’s onlyhalf done, ugh. MTT Resort is completely full for the first time since you’ve worked there, which is bad enough, but it seems like the universe itself decided to smite you by having every piece of technology you need to actually do your job decide to stop working at once. So when check-in time arrived, you were immediately swamped with already stressed and frustrated monsters who were not able to get into their rooms. Chandace came out once the yelling started, called IT, and then the two of you had to devise some sort of manual way to check guests in for the meantime. A huge f*cking mess for sure.

The first thing to come online is the phones, which immediately start ringing off the hook. The calls are half actual guests or monsters trying to book, and half either news stations wanting to speak with monsters or random ass humans asking questions. You manage to evade most questions or and take the station names down to pass down to Chandace…but you have a feeling it’s just the start.

Theonlygood thing about this morning is that Chandace actually does give you the day off on Wednesday. When the craziness finally died down enough to actuall yask her, she was in a bad mood already. It wasn't the best time, sure, but it was all you might get for the foreseeable future. Of course, she was immediately on the 'no' side and sounded beyond annoyed that you'd even try asking, but everything changed the moment you told her what it's for. Or rather…who it’s for. You’ve never seen Chandace go completely still the way she does when you say it's a favour for Undyne, and her fingers go up in a never before seen ‘five’ position when you say you’ll be driving Dr. Alphys to the courtroom. She immediately changes her answer to yes and orders you to tell her nothing else about it.

All in all, it’s a f*ckingweirdmorning. One that leaves you feeling completely depleted, frustrated and with a pounding headache. Normally your go-to for a situation like this would be to visit BP in the Emporium or maybe just go to your room to lay down, but the idea of staying in the resort at all makes you want to throw up. So the moment your lunch break starts, you practically book it for the front door.

Once outside, you immediately feel better. A placebo effect, surely, but still. You stop and take a deep breath, stretching your hands up in the sky and relishing your momentary freedom. Your spine pop in all the right ways, and you let out a satisfied sound before setting off. It doesn't take you long until you reach your destination. Just a few blocks away from the resort, is a shiny new build. A cute little cafe with the name: Muffets Bakery & Cafe. Apparently it's a new branch of a big bakery in Ebott. Monsters had been talking about it for the pastmonth, and you're excited to give it a try.

So you walk up to the adorable building.The colour scheme is a soft purple, with a beautiful awning and the cutest little curtains on the windows. Honestly, the only 'odd' think about it is the...theming. Themed bakeries aren't exactlynew, but you've never heard of one that was themed with spiders. At least it's cute spiders. The decorations litter around the building.A spider-themed cafe is a unique idea for sure, but you're up to it. Maybe they have pastries in the shape of spiders???

You walk in, and immediately are hit by the smell of baking pastries. Your stomach growls in anticipation as you look around. sh*t, it's just as cute on the inside too. As you enter, you notice that the line actually splits into two. A sign in the middle states 'Left for Spiders' and 'Right for Not Spiders'. You stare at it for a moment, smiling at the funny way they've incorporated their theming into everything, before heading in the 'not spiders' direction.

The line isn't long, with only a few monsters ahead of you. It gives you enough time to figure out what you want. Unfortunately, there is no app or website with a menu, so the only thing you can do is try to squint your eyes at the physical menu behind the counter. Still too far away.

It get's evenharderto see when you're suddenly enveloped in darkness. A shadow.The hell??You tilt your head upwards,and come face to face with theonemonster that could probably make your moodworseat the moment.

A sharp grin.“you look like sh*t.”

You frown, turning around to face him in line. “The f*ck are you doing here?”

He raises an eyebrow bone.“what? can i not get coffee now either?!"

“You know that’s not what I mean.” You roll your eyes, but pause. sh*t. Are you being a little harsh? The last few interactions you've had with the skeleton have been remarkably positive, you don't want to ruin it by being an asshole today for no reason. "Sorry, bad day."

The line moves up one. You turn to step forward.

“...so, whats put the sand in your crotch today, doll?”

“There is no sand in my-” You stop, sigh and turn back to face him. “f*ck off. The Resorts a f*cking mess today. Gonna be like it all week, at least until the courtdate."

“ahh, yea. that.”He mutters, looking away.

“Yea,that.” You grumble. “I’m just glad I have one day off in the middle of it. Think I’d probably just…wither away by the end if not.”

“woah. handy actually gave ya a day off??”

Pfft! sh*t! That makes the corner of your lips turn up slightly. “I don’t think she had a choice.” You admit. “Once I mentioned it was for Undyne she changed her mind pretty damn quick.”

Sans’ previously pleased expression darkens at the mention of her name.“...what’s she got ya doing?”

“Apparently I’m playing chauffeur for her girlfriend to the courthouse.” You shrug. “I don’t mind, got me out of work, plus I haven’t been to Humanside in-”

“-wait.”He interrupts, suddenly fully focused on you.“didya say yer drivin’alphys?”

“Uh, yea.” You respond, words coming a bit hesitant due to the intensity of his gaze. “To and from the courthouse."

A long pause, where those red eye lights stare you down.“f*ck. im coming with ya.”

“Oh yes, you can come. Thanks for asking! I appreciate it.” You say, deadpan.

By now, it's your turn at the counter. You turn away from the skeleton to the lady at the cash register.Oh sh*t.Maybe the theming is a bit more personal than you thought. The monster in front of you is definitely a spider.

“Hello dearie~” She greets you. "Welcome to Muffets Bakery and Cafe! What can I get for you?"

“Hi!” You smile, a bit sheepishly. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t look ahead of time."Thanks Sans."Is there anything you’d recommend?”

“Hmm…If you’re looking for a drink and a treat…” One of her legs goes up to her mouth in thought. “I really love the Spider Cider and the Fruit Cruffin."

"Cruffin?" You ask.

"It's a Croissant-Muffin." She smiles, a far away look in her eyes.“They areabsolutely delicious~”

“Then I’ll have that!” You nod.

“ya don’t want the spider cider, doll.”That deep voice behind you.

"Dude, shush." You turn to look up at him.That's so insulting, she literally just recommended it!“I’ll get what I want.”

He grins and shrugs his large shoulders.“don’t say i didn’t warn ya.”

Frowning at him, you turn back to the lovely cashier and pay. She takes your name, passes you a bag with the 'Cruffin' and points you down towards one side of the counter. “When we call your name, please pick your cider up here! Have a lovely day~”

Well, that was nice.You think as you make your way to a nearby table and sit. You look back at the cash register, sort of expecting to see the skeleton and the spider in some face-off after he just insulted her favourite food. Instead, you hear her giggle as she speaks to him. You can't see Sans' face from this angle, but she has two hands now in front of her mouth now, laughing. The f*ck? You squint your eyes, trying to listen to what their talking about. It's no use, they're too far away.

Once he's done ordering, Sans, surprisingly, decides to plop into a chair at your table. It's almost comical to look at really, with how opposite his 'vibe' is to this entire place. While the cafe is all cute with doilies and lace, this guy is one hundred percent edge and metal. In fact, you're actually surprised he decided to come in here in the first place.

Shrugging that thought off -who are you to judge, really- you open the bag and take out the 'Cruffin'. It looks great, with some sort of red jam in the middle. You take a bite. sh*t, she's right. It's f*cking delicious. Melt in your mouth delicious. The jam is a little messy, dripping out of the cruffin and onto your hands. Quickly you lick it up, ensuring it doesn't drip onto your clothes.

"ya really can't contain yerself, can ya, sweetcheeks?"

You flip him off, before realizing you're not exactly sure what he's getting at you for this time. The skeleton is just watching you with that familiar grin, clutching his drink -a drip coffee, likely as he doesn't have to wait- now with both hands. Ugh, how the f*ck are you going to spend time in confined space with this guy? You looked up the distance to the courthouse, and it's almost completely across town. You're looking at about 40 minutes. sh*t.

"Why do you want to go anyways?" You ask. "To the courthouse."

"huh?"He sits back up."eh, i'll go support my bro. it's a big appeal afterall."

Oh. “Your brother?”

Sans raises an eyebrow bone."didya not watch the conference?"

“...that’syour brother?!”

…

“...for f*cks sake, ya blind or something?”He gestures down at himself.

Your face flames. "Uh, well, you know, I didn't want to assume!" And because you can't shut your f*cking mouth, you continue. "Like I didn't want to be- I don't know- speciesist or something!"

Sans shakes his head, chuckling."ya lucky yer cute."

A shiver runs up your spine and you freeze. Out of the corner of your eye, a monster at a nearby table turns to look at you both with an open mouth. The furious blush already across your cheeks spreads to your ears.What the hell??

Someone calls your name. Your drink is ready. Feeling extremely off-kilter, you stand and quickly make your way to the counter.What the hell did he mean bythat?? Your face is calming down already by the time the spider monster passes you over a surprisingly tiny cup. sh*t.You didn't realize you ordered the smallest size. Despite having everything you need to return to the table...you don't. Instead you give yourself a few moments to just calm down.

He didn't mean it. He's just trying to get a rise out of me.He's an asshole. You know that.

So you keep your expression neutral as you eventually make your way back, sitting across from him. He's not even looking at you anymore, instead typing something into his phone. You take the moment of quiet to take a sip of your drink. It's warm, which is great on this cool morning, and has a flavour you have trouble placing. It's good though. Quite good. “I don’t know what you were talking about.” You say. “This is f*cking delicious. It’s small though.”

Sans is looking up at you again. He looks delighted, grin huge on his face."yea? ya like it?"

“What?” You ask, frustrated. “C’mon. Out with it.”

“didya read the label on yer cup?”

Huh?You look down at the cup in your hand. Label? Pulling it up to eye-level you turn the cup in your hand until you see a cute little font. It says 'Thank you for supporting Muffets Buffet & Cafe'. Cute enough. You glance over at Sans, narrowing your eyes at his expression before looking down. The font continues 'All of our spider items are made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders!"

…

…ofspiders?!

Immediately you slam the drink down, much harder than necessary on the table. Horror is etched into your very expression. The skeleton across the table from you bursts into laughter, loud and raucous in the small cafe.

Luckily for you, the chaos dies down quite a bit in the following days. The general anxiety surrounding the monsters doesn't, and only seems to increase as the court date gets closer, but thats to be expected, and things have to move on somewhat as normal. The reception phone is still constantly ringing though, with humans asking insensitive questions or news stations looking for 'statements'. You wonder if any other monster business has to deal with this.It’s frustrating to have them consistently push and push for something they can use in their articles. You keep professional though, knowing that if you tell even one of them off it could be the thing they decide to publish.

You have just finished hanging up another of these calls and are quietly counting down the hours till the end of the day when things suddenly get hectic again.

-f*ck YOU!!” A female voice screams.

Surprised, you immediately stand straight up, looking around for the sudden noise. You quickly see the culprit: a pretty fish-like monster with a green body and blue hair. She comes into your line of sight from the direction of the elevator and moves through the lobby, rushing for the door. A few monsters move out of her way as she hisses at them, a scratchy sound that sends shivers down your spine.

“C’mon baby! I didn’t mean it like that!” Another voice calls out. A familiar voice. You turn your head, equally as surprised to watch Aaron come into your line of sight, following the other monster. He catches up with the other monster just before the lobby doors, reaching for her. “Just come back to the room and we’ll talk-” She turns quickly, her face contorting into a terrifying image as she hisses at him. sh*t, her teeth aresharp.Luckily for him, the merhorse seems to get the message. His hand drops, and she leaves the resort. The glass doors slam shut, but luckily do not break.

You glance around, ensuring there is nobody nearby that might need your assistance, before leaving the reception area. Walking up to the dejected-looking merhorse, you ask. “Uh…hey, is everything alright?”

Aaron finally looks away from the door, eyes focusing on you. “Oh. It’s you.”

You’d be insulted at his tone if you didn’t just witness that entire situation. “Was that uh, your girl?”

He huffs, a surprisingly horse-like sound. “Ex I guess.” A pause. “Forrealthis time.” Somehow, you doubt that. You’ve met couples like this before.

“What happened?”

“We got into a fight.” He says simply.No sh*t.You wait for a moment, until he continues. “UGH! She wants toleave meto go gallivanting all over the country with her band. Like, how irresponsible can you get?!”

“I mean, she looks like she can probably take care of herself.” You glance around the lobby, where various monsters still look pretty shaken up from her.

“What?!” He turns back to you. “Are you really takingherside in this?!”

“Well, no. I'm not taking any side right now...but...it’s her dream, right?” You shrug. “It's her right to chase it. Don’t you have a dream?”

He looks at you. “No.”

…

“Oookay. A goal, then?” You try again. “Something you want to achieve?”

“Hm.” He huffs. “Well, yea. I’m tryin’ to get a twelve-pack.” He flexes.

You stare at him for a while, expecting him to go 'haha joking' and list another goal. He doesn't.

“Well, f*ck, okay, I’ll go with that.” You whisper, before raising your voice to its regular level. “How would you feel if she suddenly told you that you weren’t able to…work out or something?”

“What?!” Suddenly Aaron looks panicked. “I…I’d die.”

Okay. Dramatic. But at least this is going the way you want. “Well…I assume she feels the same about her singing then.”

For a long moment, the merhorse just stares at you. You're not entirely sure what to do, so you just stare back and feel awkward. It's like you can almost see the gears in his mind moving, as his shoulders drop and his entire stance shifts. Though...you're not entirely sure what it shiftsto.

“You know, you give good advice, for a human.” Aaron says, moving a bit closer.. “Wanna give me more advice at the bar...tonight?"

...

"What the f*ck, man?!" You take a step back. "Am I going crazy or did Inotjust see you and your ex break up like five minutes ago?"

"Yes." He nods. "And?"

"And how in the hell did you think thatwas the time to try and make a move on someone?!"

He shrugs. "I don't like to waste my time."Ugh.You rub your hand over your face. "Okay, fine babe." Oh and now you want to hit him. "I was serious about the advice though. How about we meet after your shift in the bar and you tell meall of your ideas?"

...

"I'm not going on a date with you Aaron."

"No not a date!" The merhorse nods. "Just a friendly hangout."

“I mean it Aaron.” You say. “Not a date.”

“Of course not, babe.”

You regret agreeing to this the moment you do. The idea of hanging out with Aaron feels weird, like hanging out with a fratboy or something.Still, you honour your commitments, so after your shift instead you head into the hotel bar instead of directly for the elevator.It doesn’t take you long to find him. The merhorse is sitting at the bar, looking at his phone.

“Heyyyy!” He calls out loudly as you walk up. You glance at the two empty cups beside him.

“Started early?” You ask, sitting down beside him.

"You started late!” He counters, winking. “Now you gotta catch up, babe.”

“Hm, I don’t know about that.” You mutter, looking at the prices.Ouch.No wonder Sans wanted a drink here as a reward. sh*ts expensive. The bartender comes up and you order a -still ridiculously expensive- soda, deciding to just order the one and slowly sip on it.

Aaron takes the lead in conversation, which works out well for you. You already know the guy cantalk.You manage to spend the next twenty or so minutes just nodding your head or giving one-word answers. Then, his phone pings. The merhorse pauses in his sentence, and looks down.

The vibe switches almost instantly, as he completely abandons conversation to grab his phone. You sip on your drink and watch as his face slowly turns red.

“Andnowshe’s trying to make me jealous, that bitch!” He exclaims, turning his phone around. You blink a few times before focusing on the screen. It looks like a new social media post. It’s uh, definitely provocative. sh*t. Good for her.

“I mean, maybe, but aren’t you two technically broken up now?” You ask.

“YES BUT-” He starts loudly, voice slurring a bit, before his voice quiets. “But still she…still she shouldn’t be…it’s sosoon…”

“Maybe you should try someone new?” You suggest. “I mean, you guys don’t seem to be healthy together-”

“You’re right!” He sits up, slamming his hands down on the bartop. You wince, hoping he hasn’t just broken his phone. A couple of monsters at a nearby table look over. “I have to make her jealous back!”

“Uh, not exactly what I was-”

Suddenly he’s leaning forward, one of his hands grabbing yours. He looks at you with a gaze full of intent. “Want to make her jealous with me, babe?”

…what?Your breath hitches, muscles in your back quickly tensing as your eyes go wide. Dread fills your stomach like a lead balloon, weighing you down till you can’t move. You’re suddenly frozen, unable to breath, unable to do anything but stare at this weird merhorse. Then, his thumb runs over your palm, and you’re free.

“Wooah, Aaron.” You jerk your hand back. “The hell?!”

“Aren’t ya playing hard to get?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“No.” You frown. “Not at all. Get the f*ck back.”

Heart in your throat, you glance around the room. There aren't many monsters around, and none you know enough to count as a potential ally.

Aaron seems to deflate. “Oh. sh*t. Really?”

“Really really.” You nod, looking back at him.

“UGH!” He leans back, turning to slam his head down on the table. “Sorry, babe, misread the signals there.”

Relief floods your senses, and you feel like you can breathe again. An awkward silence floats between you, but you’ll take that over everything else right now. You turn back to your drink, taking a quick sip as you allow yourself to calm down.

“Is everything okay over here?” You look up. The bartender -a bird monster- stands in front of both of you, looking critically between you and Aaron. She looks at you, eyes wide and seemingly concerned.

Maybe you do have some allies here. You offer a small smile. “All good.”

“Alright. But let me know if you need anything.” She nods and heads back down to the customers at the other end of the bar.

"Okay." You start, turning to look at Aaron. "We need to talk." The merhorse grimaces at your words. "Inwhat waydo you think I sent youanysignals that I was interested in you?"

"Ouch babe. That hurts." Aaron grumbles. After a long moment, he continues. "I don't know...I just thought you were playin' hard to get."

"Hard to get." You repeat, deadpan.

"Yea. I mean. You went out of your way to speak to me, to give me advice, to spend your time outside of work with me..."

"That's afriend, Aaron."

"...oh." He sits up and lets out a long breath. The two of you fall back into silence as the merhorse calls the bartender back over. He orders four shots of water magic, and pounds two of them back quickly. He pauses on the third, before looking at you. "Want one?" You shouldn't, but you saw this drink being poured andf*ckif this wasn't a really weird night to start with. You reach your hand out and grab a shot, taking it with Aaron.

The silence continues for a bit. Then he speaks."Listen babe, I don't know what you know about the underground, but it was a pretty tough place." You sit up a bit, surprised at the sudden direction of the conversation. "We didn't really havefriends,and if you were interested in someone it made them your weakness. A weakness to exploit. Not a lotta monsters went that route at all. If you did...you had to be very forward about your intentions...and if the other person didn't want to...well...it was obvious." A pause. "Lots of monsters died that way."

That, uh...sounds horrible. sh*t.

"Even Aboveground, lotsa monsters still have that mentality." He says. "Navigatin' a world that's had time to develop rules about sh*t like this, is tough. I hope I haven't put ya off me tonight." He looks at you. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry I overstepped."

"Um...wow." You blink, beyond surprised. "That's uh...thanks Aaron. I appreciate it."

It's a bit more comfortable after that, and you sip on your drink while mulling over what he said. Eventually, though, your curiosity does return. “I gotta ask, did you only ask ‘cause I was available?" You ask. Aaron turns to you with a confused look. You elaborate. “Aren’t I a bit different than your usual type?” With that, you gesture at your entire body, but especially your legs.

“That don’t mean much to monsters, babe.” He says.

You blink. “Really?”

“Nah, too many different species to really think like that. I mean…we all got our preferences, but…” He squints at you. “You definitely meet mine”.

You kick him. Hard. “Stop it.”

“Owe, f*ck. Sorry, sorry.” Aaron says, shifting backwards with hands up. “Shame you’re not interested though, you're a right dame.” He sighs, leaning against the bar top. “Preference or not, it’d be nice to hold that record. Definitelywoulda got Shyren jealous.”

“...holdwhatrecord?”

“The first monster to f*ck a human, of course!”

…

Your mouth drops open, cheeks flushing. “That’s athing?!”

“f*ck yea.” Aaron laughs. “We started talking about it on theUndernet. People were making polls and taking bets and everything.”

“...oh…” You’re not entirely sure what to do with that information. “Well…I’m sure there’s bound to be humans around who’re up to it.”

The rest of the ‘hangout’ is actually pretty fun. When he’s not being overly flirty or pissed off about his ex, the guy isn’t horrible to chill with. It's weird, to be honest. You had originally thought of the guy as almost like a stereotypical 'fratboy' and yea...he did act like it a lot...but there were moments there that he showed a lot of emotional intelligence, more than lots of humans even have.

You still wrap it up when you’re finished your drink though, ready to head back up to your room and wind down before another crazy day tomorrow. The two of you exchange numbers, and you think that you'd probably be up to do it again sometime.Aaron decides to stay longer and drown out his misery in alcohol, so you say a goodbye and head upstairs.

It takes you a long time to fall asleep, and when you do you’re plagued by memories turned nightmares of faces you’ve long wish you could forget.

The humans have arrived in Monstertown.It’s sort of a weird thought…since you arevery muchhuman yourself, but still. There are not too many of them, but it’s a stark difference to how it was before. At least nobody is causing trouble. So far just ‘tourists’ walking around and pointing at people. Rude. But not aggressive.

It still puts you on edge. It seems to put everyone on edge. The guests are constantly looking around, worried. Chandace spent the entirety of yesterday's shift outside of her office, ensuring the lobby was in absolute perfect order. Even BP is a bit off, and doesn’t seem nearly as excited as you’d expect him to be when Chandace shortens the hours of operation for the Burger Emporium.

You’re expecting another very hectic day, so you get up early and decide to go get an actual good coffee before your shift. This time, you’re determined to ask for a drink thatisn’tmade of spiders. Walking out of MTT Resort, you’re hit by a cool breeze that sends shivers down your spine. It’ll warm up shortly, but right now you regret your light clothing. You walk down the steps and turn to start on your way when a voice rings out.

“-call the police!”

You pause, looking around for the voice. It’s early, too early for anything like this. There, at the edge of the park is a well dressed middle-aged human woman. She’s yelling at a monster… a monster in stripes…sh*t. Quickly, you abandon your coffee plans and make your way over.

“What’s going on?” You ask once in range, looking between the woman and the little lizard monster.

The woman looks up at your arrival, pauses, looks you up and down critically and then speaks. “Thislittle thinghere purposefully tripped me!”

“I didn’t!” The monster kid exclaims, looking at you. “I just fell! It’s notmyfault she wasn’t looking where she was going!”

“Why you little-” The woman starts.

“Woah, hey. I think we’re getting too worked up here.” You step in, your customer service voice coming on full as you step between the woman and the monster kid. “It was just an accident, ma’am. It happens.”

She turns to you. “Anaccident?!”sh*t, her voice gets louder. “This thing decided to try to grievously injure me and you’re calling it an accident?!”Grievously injure? Wait...did she just call the kid athing?!?!

Sensing the escalation, you fully step in between her and the Monster kid, hand behind your back waving at the kid to leave. “I really doubt they tried to-”

“Hey-wait! It’s leaving”! The woman shouts -way too loud in your ear, ouch- and takes a step around you. “You! Monster! You have to stay here until the police come!” Turning to look, all you can see is the kids tail as they turn a corner and disappear from sight.

You let out a long breath. “Well, that’s that I guess.”

“No. I called the police." The woman looks at you. "You’llstay here until they get here.”

You snort. “Absolutely not.”

“Oh, yes you will!” She grabs your arm, fingers immediately digging in.

Startling, your opposite hand goes up to hers, trying to peel it off of you. “Are you f*cking crazy? Let go!”

The woman says nothing, just holding on with that sh*t-eating grin.Seriously, what the f*ck-

“ya should probably what she asks.” A deep, menacing voice behind you. It gets only darker as he continues. "or i'll make you."

Both you and the woman jump, but otherwise have completely separate reactions. Immediately you recognize the voice, and can’t help but feel just a bit calmer than before, even with the threatening tone. The woman, however, looks absolutely petrified. You can’t help but watch with glee as her face contorts into an amazing mix of disgust and horror.

She lets go stammering “I-I-I-I-I-”. You press your lips together to hold back a laugh as she takes a step back. Another. Another. All without looking away from the monster you know is behind you. Once she’s far enough away, she turns and bolts it down the street. You watch her run, not an ounce of pity or sympathy turning in your body for her.

Rubbing your arm, you turn around to face him. “Thanks!” You say, looking up with a smile. Oh. Huh. You blink up at him. He looks different…sharper somehow. Not just his teeth, but his whole presence.

Sans’ eyes are still where the lady had gone.“don’ worry ‘bout it.”

It’s then that you notice a bit of movement behind the large skeleton. A familiar yellow head pops out from behind.Oh I see…The kid steps out fully. “Thanks for getting him, kid.” You smile. They grin back.

“what happened?”

At that, both of you are now looking at the Monster Kid. “I dunno!!” They insist, looking straight at Sans. “I was runnin’ in the park with Dee and then I tripped and this human was just yelling at me!!”

“Did you see her before you tripped?” You ask.

They shake their head “No!!” Then they pause. “Well…actually…” They start. “I’ve seen her before, but not today!! She’s always round here in the morning, taking pictures.”

“She’s taking pictures?” You ask. The kid just nods so you ask. “...of what?”

The kid shrugs, kicking at the concrete. “I dunno. Everything I guess.”

…

You share a glance with Sans.That sounds bad, right?

“Can I go now??” They ask, breaking your gaze. The skeleton nods, and the kid is off…surprisingly fast for someone without arms. The two of you remain quiet, watching the kid as they run back into the park until they are completely out of sight.

Only then do you turn back to him. “Is there…someone we can tell about this?”

Sans sighs.“not really, unless we wanna get the royal guard f*cks involved.”Oh sh*t.He looks down the street.“let’s spread the word ‘round town, get more eyes on it.”

“Got it.” You nod. "Uh, she said she called the police. Is that...an issue?"

He chuckles, still looking far away."nah. police dont come here."

"Ah. Good then." The two of you fall into a small, contemplative silence for a moment, before you continue. “Seriously though, thanks for stepping in.”

“huh?”He blinks, looking back.“i said don’ worry ‘bout it, doll, didn’t i?”

Odd reaction, but okay. “What are you doing up this early anyways?” You ask. “I didn’t really peg you for the early bird type.”

“‘m not.”He snorts.“the royal guard has all the sentry’s doin’ f*ckin’ patrol right now.”

“Sentry?”

Sans startles, looking at you with a slightly panicked expression.“uh, yea. the job underground.”

Well, sh*t...he obviously doesn't want to talk about that. And after what he just did, you don't really feel the want to push. You pocket away that information for later and move on. Pulling out your phone from your pocket, you check the time.sh*t. This whole thing took longer than you’d hope. You still have time to get coffee, but not enough to sit down and actually enjoy it before the shift. Ugh.

“Well…can you patrol from Muffets?” You ask. At the skeletons confused look, you continue. “C’mon, bonehead, I’ll buy you something.”

The confused look only grows, so you reach forward to pull at the arm of his jacket. You are definitely not strong enough to make a monster that big move, but he does. He allows you to pull him into walking with you. You let go once he's beside you, and the two of you quickly make your way back to Muffets Bakery & Cafe. It's not a long walk, but still nice. A few monsters give you really weird looks, but you just shrug it off.

Conversation doesn't start until you're in line, when he makes a jab at you for drinkingliteralspiders last time. You, of course, refuse to take that lying down and snark right back. It comes natural between you now. The line moves quickly though, and soon the conversation is cut short as you have to make your way back. You go to say goodbye when you realize something. Quickly you log into your phone and open the contact number.

You turn back. "Hey, give me your number."

The lazy grin is expected."bein' forward today, huh sweetcheeks?"A pause, and he leans forward. "i like it."

Damn. That hits a lot harder after your discussion with Aaron. You ignore the warmth in your cheeks and hold your phone out. "This way I can text you when I'm there to pick you up Wednesday."

He takes your phone and enters his number before passing it back. You check it, glad you do when you see he's put his name as 'Bone Daddy'. Rolling your eyes, you change it to 'Sans' -to his obvious disappointment-, send him a quick text so he has your number and then actually need to go. You say another quick 'goodbye' and head out.

If you're walking out of Muffets with a small smile on your face, only you would know.

That night, just before you put your phone away to get some sleep, you get your first text from Sans.

New Message:

[Sans]:wtf is this?!

A picture comes through next. You frown, clicking on it to load. It takes a few moments, but when it does your jaw drops. It's a screenshot picture of you in snapchat -an app that you no longer have. You're at the bar in MTT Resort, looking away from the camera. You don't have a drink yet, so its early in the night. Honestly it's not a horrible picture of you. The lighting is fine, your face is fine, everything is fine except the caption. You clutch your phone too tight as you read it:

'on a date with this hottie 🍆🍆🍆'

f*cking HELL Aaron!!

Chapter 6: Monsters Don't Drive

Chapter Text

You don’t respond.

That really shouldn’t bother him. If some random f*ckin’ human girl doesn’t respond to him, not his problem, right? It shouldn’t have him grinding his teeth together, or make him want to throw his phone against the wall...but it does.

Sans lets out a frustrated sound and makes the -smart- decision to let go of his phone before he actually crushes it, dropping it haphazardly on the bed as he makes his way out to the balcony. Stepping out, the cool night air immediately hits his skull. It feels nice, even if it does nothing to calm the anger swirling in his mind. He shoves a hand into his coat pocket, grabs a cigarette from the box -last one left, sh*t- and brings it up to his mouth. Clicking his phalanges together, a small plume of red magic erupts, lighting the cigarette.

As he takes in a smoky breath, a memory plays in his mind.

“Here.” A soft voice.

“huh?” Sans looks over at you, eye lights catching on the lighter in your hands. Hah. He wants to laugh. Humans and their f*cking inventions. They can do whatever they can to make up for their lack of magic, but at the core they are just weak, pathetic creatures. He continues to stare at you, quickly realizing that you’re actually offering the lighter to him, as if he f*ckin’ needs it. …are ya f*ckin’ kiddin’ me. Didn’t he just threaten you?

…not that you took him seriously at all.

You should have. Even in your obviously drunk state -which, honestly, is what you get for stealing and drinking a cup full of enough monster alcohol to get him drunk-,something in youshould have screamed that you’ve put yourself into a dangerous position with a monster. A predator obviously much stronger than you, one that you’ve been actively annoying for a while now nonetheless. Were you completely f*cking lacking in self-preservation instinct? Sans has dusted monsters for less than what you’ve done.

If this were underground, you’d be dead already. Hell, the first time you threw yourself at him at the grocery store would have been enough justification to do it. And it hasn’t exactly gotten better since, you seem to be going out of your way to antagonize him. f*cking reckless little sh*t. You’re just lucky he hasn’t decided to go through with anything.

…but why hasn’t he?

Of course, because Pap would be beyond pissed. The strongest argument he has in many of his ongoing cases is how monsters have only hurt humans on the surface in self-defence. Hah. “Self-defence” his non-existent ass. It’s all bullsh*t. Sure, for the most part monsters aren’t exactly going out with the plan to attack some random human, but his species are easy to anger, and quick to turn to a fight. He has no doubt that at least half of those so-called ‘self-defence’ cases were monster initiated.

Pap knows it too. He often talks about how f*cking stupid the human government is for even allowing the precedent to be set in the first place. The first ‘self-defence’ case that occurred was shortly after monsters left the mountain and was a pretty clear-cut case of aggression on the part of the wolf monster charged, but the human government had been too f*cking scared about creating panic amongst it’s people. In the end, it was decided that self-defence was a good middle ground. They didn’t even go to court. f*cking idiots.

It won’t last forever though. The last self-defence case that Pap argued for had been more difficult, as the human government tried to work around their own mistakes, to fix their own precedent. Hah, Pap had been extra angry at that one. Sans knows his brother is spending all of his free time not working or studying trying to determine alternate arguments for the next time an incident occurs. Because another incident willoccur. Who knows when it'll be, but it'll happen.

So, yeah, Sans would never hear the end of it if he actually did something. That’s why he’s been quiet. That’s why he’s let this f*cking little human get away with much more than he’d normally put up with. There’s no other reason. Even if you are amusing as f*ck. Even if it is a little impressive that you'd even be willing to stand up to him at all. Most of your kind wont. Sans is more than aware that he's not one of the 'cuter' monsters, anytime he's had interactions with humans have told him that.

…not you though. Even your shock at his first appearance quickly changed to anger. Not fear, not disgust.

Letting out a frustrated breath, he takes the offered lighter from your small as f*ck hands, lighting the cigarette quick before passing it back. He takes a deep hit immediately, relaxing slightly as he feels the smoky magic fill his body. Looking back up at the night sky -a sight he honestly doesn’t think he’ll ever get over- he breathes out.

A beat of silence, and then a small intake of air beside him. He glances over at you, eye sockets widening slightly. You're not looking at him anymore, instead staring up at the sky where the magic he breathed out is swirling in the air. He's used to it, magic is just a part of life for him, but you look absolutely mesmerized with that dumb as f*ck expression on your face: eyes wide and shiny, mouth open, leaning hard against the balcony railing as if to somehow get even closer to it.

…maybe leaning a bit too far, actually.

Huh. Maybe you’ll solve his problem on your own, the problem of this new f*cking annoyance that seems to be popping up everywhere. He watches as you lean your body over the edge, blinking wildly as you seemingly subconsciously try to get closer to the quickly disappearing magic. Eventually you do stop, maybe some small bit of sense in your f*cking body, but he's still sure that any slight wobble and you'll go over.

And that’ll be it. You’ll just be a disgusting splat of flesh and blood on the ground. He can wipe his mitts clean of you. As long as he's not the cause of your death, he'll be fine. Life will go on as normal.

…

Sans takes in another deep hit, looking up at the few stars he can actually see in the light-poluted sky this close to the city. One day, when Pap finally wins the case that allows all monsters to drive, he'll buy a motorcycle and drive it out of the city to somewhere less smoggy. Somewhere he can actually see the night sky how it looks online, lit up entirely by stars. At that thought, he breathes out, his red magic crackling in the air as it begins to turn and twist. Out of the corner of his eyes, he watches as you naturally lean further, wobbling on the tips of your toes.

That’s it. You’re about to go over….splat.

…

But you don’t.

Just as your body starts to move, it stops. Something holds you back, a small, wiggly ball of red magic that has grabbed the back of your shirt keeps you from going further. It pulls you back until your feet are flat on the ground. You don't even seem to notice, eyes focused straight ahead as you settle back against the railing.

Pap would be upset. His fault or not, this would be another case for him to fight, and Sans doesn’t want to listen to another one of his long f*cking lectures. That’s all. That’s why he lets out a long sigh, and puts out the cigarette on the brick wall beside him. That’s why he stays there until you turn around and wobble back into the apartment, completely unaware of how close you were to a sudden, unfortunate death.

That’s why.

What the f*ck is actually wrong with him?

Sans quickly blinks the memory away, almost growling as he grips the railing with enough force to dent it. Well, f*ck, that deposit is gone, but he doesn’t pay that more than a moment of thought, mind too preoccupied with other things. Why does he keep thinking about that night? Why can’t he get away from your f*cking face for even a moment?!

…and why is he so pissed off?

Sure, it grinds his bones that Aaron of all monsters won the bet. Nobody thought he’d be able to forget Shyren long enough to get his dick wet -heh- somewhere else. Sans had g's in multiple pots (including himself, of course) but hadn’t even bothered to bet anything on the merhorse.

But, no, it’s not just the bet. It’s not just the g’s that he’s suddenly going to owe to someone. That’s not the only thing sending waves of anger through his body. It can’t be the only thing, when his magic suddenly acts up enough to burn the entire f*cking cigarette to ashes in his hand. He blinks down at his now empty hand, before it clenches into a fist.

the f*ck does she see in him anyways?

Sans lets out a long breath. f*ck. Shyren’s going to be trying to kill you now. She’ll be on the warpath. There’s no way she’ll let you f*ck Aaron, even if they are on some sort of break. The two mermonsters have always been ridiculously possessive over each other. Didn’t you hear how Aaron spoke about her at either of the parties you want to? And still, you put yourself in the firing range, again . Do you not have any f*cking sense?

Then again, you did choose to move to Monstertown of all places. What the f*ck is that about anyways? Why would a human choose to live in a place so objectively hostile to their species?

The first time he saw you in MonsterMart, he thought you were just another of those dumbass ‘tourists’ who had gotten lost. Sans didn’t even consider that you actually lived in Monstertown, why the f*ck would he? So he took what was rightfully his and planned to leave without much of a scene. You’d go back to whatever place you came from and tell your friends all about your ‘scary encounter with a monster’. Of course…it didn’t exactly go down that way. Instead you demanded the bottle back, and practically threw yourself at him to get it. Weird as f*ck, but amusing, so that was about it.

But then you just kept. f*cking. appearing. It felt like everywhere he turned, you were there. Half the time you didn’t even notice him. It was infuriating… at first.

Sans would never admit it, but since you seem to have gotten whatever stick out of your ass from your first meeting…it hasn’t been horrible. You were fun to f*ck with, at least, and watching a clueless human stumble through monster customs is f*cking hilarious for sure. Your reactions were the best too, the way you always tried to fight back, even if it was absolutely useless.

You are gonna get yourself killed if you continue like that though. Hell, maybe your latest action will be the nail in the coffin, a new meaning to death by sex. If the picture has been passed around enough that even he’s seen it, there’s no way that Shyren hasn’t. Sans doesn’t even have social media, it was posted in the f*cking building group chat, with the caption ‘so thats the noise I heard in room 806 last night ;) congrats man’

Gritting his teeth together, he gives in. Turning away from the balcony, he walks back inside and picks up his phone from the bed. Honestly, he doesn’t know what he's expecting. You still haven’t responded. Instead, the building group chat has gone wild again. Rolling his eye lights, he goes to throw his phone back on the bed and head in for afun shower to improve his mood, when he sees your name pop up. It gives him enough pause to wait for a second, as more messages come through with variations of 'holy sh*t' and 'f*cking hell'.

Well, isn't that f*cking concerning. Opening the groupchat, he scrolls up to the beginning of whatever sent them into a spiral. A photo? A video maybe? It’s not downloaded yet, so he can’t see it. sh*t. Is this a sex tape or something? He’s pretty sure he’ll actually throw up if he has to see anything of Aaron. His thumb hovers over it for a moment before he clicks.

It downloads slowly.

…

…

oh

…that’s…heh…

sh*t

Well, it’s not a sex tape, that’s for sure. Sans mouth turns up into a wicked grin as he sits back on his bed. Suddenly all of the f*cking shocked and bewildered texts make sense.

The picture that downloaded is a selfie of Aaron, which in itself isn't exactly unusual for the merhorse. Whatisunusual, however, is the complete lack of flexing to the camera and the absolutely panicked expression on the monsters face.

‘sorry every1 was a joke i didn’t go on a date with the human’

In the background of the selfie, almost out of frame, is you. You’re standing there, arms crossed in front of your chest with the most pissed off look he’s ever seen on your face -and well, that says something.

f*ck. The first thing that goes through his body is a sharp relief. Well...that solves the problem of your impending death. And of any lectures from Pap. Oh, and the problem of owing g's to someone. Great. Cool.

Sans looks upwards. Aarons apartment is right above his, he knows from the sheer amount of hatesex he hears coming from the room. He can almost see it now, you storming over to the building and to his apartment, demanding him fix the situation he created. Whatever you said seemed to really freak out the guy, if his face says anything.

His phone vibrates in his hand. He looks down.

New Message

[Snowdrake]: GUYS LOOK. ANOTHER ONE

Sans is on it quickly, clicking the photo and waiting as it downloads. It takes an agonizing long moment, but it’s so f*cking worth it.

If Aaron looked panicked in the last photo, it’s nothing compared to this one. Oh sh*t. This one isn’t even a selfie. It’s taken by someone else -and by the lack of ‘you’ in the room, he can guess who the photographer is. The merhorse is smiling awkwardly, but the look on his face is anything but happy. He doesn’t look injured at all, which just makes it so much better.

The caption reads: ‘we did not f*ck’

Sans laughs, a quick but deep, full-body laugh that he hasn’t done in a very very long time, maybe since Pap finally grew up. Stars, that’s f*cking hilarious, a human actually beating a monster with what looks like sheer force and sharp wit. sh*t, if that wasn’t the most attractive thing he’s seen in a long f*cking time. Hah. Sans screenshots both pictures, opening up the first one to zoom in on your pissed off face with a snicker.

Wait. f*ck.

…attractive?

Sans lets out a groan, raising a hand to his face. f*cking hell. Not this sh*t again.

Yea, sure, he’ll admit it, he’s attracted to humans. He's known it for a while. Big f*cking deal, lots of monsters are. Nobody would be takin' bets on who would f*ck one first if they were ugly. No, that’s not the problem. The problem is you. You, a human full of piss and vinegar, with your big f*cking mouth and apparent lack of regard for your own safety.

Sans…doesn’t really know what to do with you.

In the beginning, he figured it would just fade away. Sure, you’re hot, but you’re also f*cking annoying. It didn’t matter if you got way closer to him than you should or put your hands all up on him at Guy’s party, because in the end you were just a frustrating, weak little human who wouldn’t last long in this town. Something or someone would scare you, and you’d be long gone before summer started to wrap up.

But the weather started to get cooler and you stayed. You became less annoying, and things got a lot tougher. So, when you were practically shirtless and sweaty in the hotel lobby, or looking up at him with that big dumb awed expression or sh*t, even mouthing off to him…it was a lot harder to remain unaffected.

...f*ck i need to get laid.

With another frustrated sound, he closes his eyes, gently tossing his phone further down on the bed. It bounces off once and hits the floor. sh*t. Well, it’s probably fine. He doesn’t care, not right now. It's been too long,that must be why all this sh*t is happening. That must be why he's finding himself so affected by a human.

…

His eyes open. wait. is that the answer?

That’s right. There’s one definite way to get over this, and Sans has never been the type of monster to not indulge when something is beneficial to him. shit, maybe i can actually win the bet too…

He grins.

Next Wednesday

[You]: sans

[You]: sanss

[You]: dude seriously

[You]: im gonna leave your bony ass behind

...

[Sans]: f*ck off. omw

You can’t help but snicker as the response comes in, sliding your phone into the cupholder. Turning to your right, you announce to your passenger that he’s on his way.

“Finally.” Alphys -Dr.Alphys- huffs, obviously annoyed by waiting. She looks extremely uncomfortable, fiddling a lot with her seatbelt. You can hear her mutter something about ‘cheap human equipment’ under her breath and choose not to take it personally. Your car is pretty f*cking cheap after all. It’s old and it was made for human bodies...not everything that monsters have going on.

You take a deep breath in, and tap at the steering wheel as the car falls into silence. It's a bit awkward, but there's not a single conversation starter you can think of that has a chance to go over well with this monster. And you want things to go over well with this monster. Even taking away the fact that she's the girlfriend of the Captain of the Royal Guard, Dr. Alphys is intimidating in her own right. Despite her relatively smaller size, something about her just screams 'danger'. You can't put your finger on it, really, it's like some old gut instinct.So, yea, you're already a little stressed. Stuck in a very confined space with a being that your senses scream at you to get away from isn't exactly your idea of a good time.

Suddenly, the back passenger-side door swings open widely -a jumpscare in itself, sh*t- and the car rocks as Sans quickly slides into the back. You look through the rearview mirror as he settles, tapping your fingers a bit harder against the steering wheel. Then he slams the door shut.

Your first reaction is pure panic for your car. You just know the skeleton has enough strength to actually damage it. The last thing you need is to have to fix a f*cking door because this asshole can’t behave for five minutes. With MTT Resort still taking a huge chunk of your pay for rent, you really don't have the money for that. But, maybe luck is on your side for once. The door stays shut and there doesn’t seem to be any obvious damage. With that knowledge, your panic quickly turns to frustration.

“Hey!” You call out, trying -and failing- to keep your voice even. “Don't slam my door!” You glare at the monster through your rearview mirror.

Sans catches your gaze, grin widening. “...oh, and what’ll ya do to make me stop?”

…

He’s provoking you, even more obviously than normal. It’s dumb. It’s obvious. It’s unavoidable. There’s nothing you can do right now to stop the frustration flaming to pure anger in your throat. Maybe you should be used to him being this way by now, after everything. Maybe you should learn to brush him off, to shake your head and roll your eyes, to do anything but rise to the challenge. But you don’t. You don’t look away. You don’t stop glaring back. The skeleton in the backseat’s grin sharpens.

“Stars!” Alphys gripes. “Calm the f*ck down! Is it going to be like this the whole f*cking way?” Her voice breaks the moment, and you’re the first to look away, embarrassment reddening your cheeks at being called out by her. Sans makes a satisfied sound behind you.

“Asshole.” You huff, feeling your pressing anger fade back to the regular frustration you feel in the guy’s presence.

“f*ck off, sweetcheeks. you started it.” Sans grumbles, leaning forward. “don’t blame me for your f*cked up mood.” A large arm reaches between the front seat. You don’t have any time to prepare before he shoves an aux cord into your dash and a deep bass starts to blare from your speakers. Startling harshly, you reach over and turn down the volume to a manageable level.

“Hey!!” You complain at Sans, before looking over at Alphys. “Sorry.”

Luckily she doesn't seem too upset. “I don’t see how you listen to that sh*t.” Alphys grimaces. Despite her seemingly unflappable demeanor, you definitely saw her jolt in your peripheral vision as well. You smartly say nothing about it.

“heh. she likes it.” Sans points with his thumb to you.

“Huh? What? I do?” You turn in your seat to look at him. He raises an eyebrow bone, and once you take the moment to really listen, you recognize the music as the same you listened to at the last party. “Oh. Yeah. I guess I do.”

A snort from behind you. “sh*t, already at the weddin’? what do we got planned for the weddin’ night, dear?”

It takes a second for you to click in, and once you do your face heats up immediately. You turn in your seat to face him, mouth open in some sort of scathing retort when Alphys interrupts. “Can we just f*cking go?! I really don’t need to hear this.”

Face fully red now, you quickly turn forward. Sans chuckles in the backseat, leaning back to relax as you put the car into reverse. Why is he acting like this in front of her? Every time you look in the rearview mirror, he meets your eyes with that smug-ass grin. Asshole.

The drive is surprisingly quiet. Well, no. Quiet isn’t the right word. The music is loud, and Alphys’ grumbling even louder. But, mercifully, Sans keeps his mouth shut and the three of you make it into Humanside without a problem.The mood in the car changes as you get closer to the courthouse, a new, underlying stress starting to permeate from each corner. Sans turns the music down, and Alphys gives you directions on where to go.

It doesn't take you too long to find the courthouse, but you quickly realize another problem. It’s surrounded by people: humans protesting both for and against the appeal. You pull up as close as you can get, but then stop. "Um...sh*t." Will they have to get out here?

Someone walks towards your car, an officer. He looks pissed off already. You take in a deep breath and roll down your window. "You can't be here-oh." It gives you a little bit of satisfaction as the officer pauses in his speech, eyes widening as he sees the monsters in your car.

“Uh, yea.” You give an awkward smile. “I’m just dropping these two off…anywhere I can go?”

After that, the officer is surprisingly helpful, using his radio to get a few more on scene. You don't like it at all, but there's nothing you can do but watch as they clear the road in front of you. Protesters on both sides scream words you can't hear as you pull through, double-parking as close as possible.

Quickly, the monsters pile out, the car moving due to their weight. Without so much as a 'thank you', the doors close -not slam, noticeably and they head in. You watch for a moment, as both sides of the protest get louder at their arrival. Neither monster acknowledges anything, walking quickly inside. You pull out your phone to send a quick text Undyne.

[You]: They just went in

Gettingout of the area proves to be a bit more difficult, but you manage after a while. Once free, you pull into a random parking lot and pull up your GPS. It only takes you a moment to program the local department store into your destination, and soon you're pulling back out onto the road.

Hours later, you’re sort of regretting agreeing to this. At least with work, you knew when it was going to end. Chandace refused to pay overtime, and you refused to work for free so…you left right on the dot most of the time. Now though, you’re on everyone else's schedule. Who knows how long you have more to wait.

Errands completed a while ago and trunk of your car filled with products you just can’t get in Monstertown, you quickly realized you don’t really have anything else to do. You don’t exactly want to wander aimlessly around Humanside, and the idea of accidentally running into any anti-monster protest makes your blood boil. The few anti-monster bumper stickers you saw already made you want to drive someone off the road.

So, you do what you always do to pass the time and search ‘cool places to go in humanside’ online. One of the first options is a cute cafe. It seems to be popular on FaceGram for its cute cat theming. For a brief moment it throws you, a bit weary after the ‘spider cider’ incident, but then you remember where you are and shrug it off. It’s not that hard to find, and soon you’re walking into probably the second cutest cafe you’ve ever been in. It has a bit less of a 'local' feeling than you would have hoped though, and has a few photo spots you just know were specifically made for influencers.

The cafe itself is surprisingly quiet, so you’re able to eye a small table you intend to take in the back and get into line. They seem to have some sort of gimmick here, a latte with foam on it shaped like a cat, with little toe beans in different colours and everything. You’d like to say your above the obvious cash grab but, well, you order it without a second thought. After grabbing a sandwich for lunch -also in the shape of a cat- and a cute little desert -you guessed it, a cat-, you pay, give your name to the cashier and head over to claim your seat.

After months of living in Monstertown, it feels surprisingly weird to be surrounded by humans. Sure, you've been in Humanside a few times for liquor or the occasional necessity, but never this long. Everyone here looks so...similar. It's odd. And its odd that it's odd.

Your phone vibrates on the table. Looking over, you tap the screen.

New Message

[Sans]: this is f*ckin boring

You snort, picking up your phone to type a response.

[You]: what did u expect? It’s law

The response comes quickly.

[Sans]: dont let my bro hear you say that

[You]: i’d say it right to his face. law sucks

[Sans]: sh*t u prolly would

[Sans]: but no actually. dont. bad idea

You blink a few times at that, wondering if there’s any hidden meaning behind his weird words. Then you think of his brother, that tall sharp skeleton and consider that no, maybe he’s actually warning you.

[You]: i wont

The barista calls your name, so you leave your phone on the table and go up. It takes you a bit to bring everything back, juggling everything expertly to ensure nothing falls. By the time you make it back to your table -without any casualties, success- there is a new message on your phone.

New Message

[Sans]: wat u up 2?

sh*t, he must bereally bored if he's bothering you like this. Well, it's not like you have anything better to do either.

[You]: living vicariously through me, huh?

[You]: went to a cafe. it’s pretty good actually

Snapping a quick pic, you send it over. While you wait for a response, you finally start sipping the drink. It’s pretty good. Not the best you’ve ever had, and not entirely worth the price point, but still good enough.

[Sans]: of course u’d like that cute sh*t

[You]: f*ck off. I spent the entire ride here listening to heavy monster music. Let me have my cute sh*t

[You]: also i’ve personally seen you in muffets TWICE so u have no room to talk

There’s a long break after that. You start in on your ‘cute as sh*t’ sandwich. Also pretty good. Huh.

[You]: is the thing almost done?

[Sans]: yup. now just watching the king n queen eye f*ck eachother across the room. wanna c?

What?! The monarchs are there?!

[You]: uh, probably not?

Of course he doesn’t listen to you. Of course, the next text he sends is a picture.Oh. What the f*ck?! It'sobviously a sneak-pic, with a quarter of the screen being taken up by a desk of some sort. There they are...the monarchs. A shiver goes down your spine. They're too massive for any of the seats, standing in the middle of the room. God, they're terrifying. They look pissed too, glaring at each other from their seats, the Queen's mouth open in an obvious argument. Beside King Asgore is Dr.Alphys, looking almost comically short in comparison.Suddenly, you're very okay with where you are, in a cute little cafe away from the intensity of whatever the f*ck is going on there. Honestly, you have no idea how Sans is even able to stay in the room with them.

Instead of commenting on the photo anything that could potentially get you in trouble down the line, you follow up with a joke.

[You]: dude if that’s what you think any type of f*cking is, you really gotta up ur game

[Sans]: ...oh ya?

You start to type out a snarky response, some scathing remark that doesn’t even make its way to ‘send’. A picture pops onto your screen, freezing you entirely. Your mouth drops open.

It’s a selfie this time, of Sans.He's looking at the camera, with two fingers held up in a 'v' shape near his mouth. A red tongue that you have definitely not seen before snaked through them in the middle. You take in his face, that smug little look in his eyes, the way his sharp, open mouth is ticked up in a grin.

He has a tongue. What.

You bite your lip, a very unexpected heat filling your cheeks. If asked, you would deny just how long you stared at the picture, knuckles practically white as you hold the phone perfectly frozen.

[Sans]: no complaints yet

…sh*t.

A blender goes off behind the bar, startling you so much that your phone clatters to the table. You stare at the screen for a moment, before quickly reaching forward to lock it. Breathing a bit heavily, you ‘casually’ look around. Nobody saw that, right? How the f*ck would you explain that ?

New Message

[Sans]: what? too much for ya?

The challenge spurs that familiar need to prove him wrong that you hold on to, the only emotion you’re feeling right now that makes any sense. You unlock your phone and go to type a response…but your mind comes up blank.

[Sans]: …did i break u that easily, doll?

[You]: shut the f*ck up

Not the best answer. f*ck. But you're mind is completely frozen.

You watch in anticipation -of what? Who knows- as those three little dots bounce around for a moment, wondering what f*cking comeback he has in mind. You know you left many openings.Then they stop moving. You blink a few times, put the phone down -screen unlocked- and take a few more small sips of your latte.

There is no response. The asshole left you on read.

By the time you have to go pick the monsters up again, you’ve successfully managed to push that image to the back of your head. For now. Still, you’d be lying if you weren’t a little extra anxious when you saw the courthouse appear in the distance.The protests are still there, but a bit quieter now.Thank f*ck.You're able to actually pull into the parking lot this time and double park across other cars. You'll move if you have to.

[You]: in the parking lot.

It's not long after that the protests screams get a bit louder, and you look up. As expected, Sans and Dr. Alphys are walking out. What you don't expect is a third monster, one that looks suspiciously like a character from Monsters Inc. The monster is small and round, with one giant eye and a mouth. The only difference, really, is the sharper horns on their head, lack of arms and the orange -instead of green- colour.

The monsters quickly find and walk up to your car. Dr. Alphys and Sans pause outside, and you can already hear them arguing about something. The unknown monster, however, just opens the back door and jumps on in.

“Uh, hop in, I guess?” You mumble to yourself, rolling your eyes.

“Human.” The monster says, disgust evident in their voice. You turn back to at least attempt an introduction, when they continue. “Ew, what an eyesore.”

You blink a few times, expression turning dark. Energy that had been building in you for a while suddenly has an output. “The f*ck?! Like you’re one to talk, you Mike Wazowski looking f*cker!”

The monster looks unimpressed by your words until the end, when that giant eye suddenly goes wide. “...how did you know my name?!”

...what?

Well, that definitely takes the wind out of your sails. The two of you just stare at each other in surprise. Then the other back door opens, and Dr. Alphys sits down. She immediately looks uncomfortable in the back, fiddling with the seatbelt.

“Uh, you can sit up here…Dr. Alphys, if you want?” You offer.

“f*ck no.” Dr. Alphys shakes her head, an annoyed look on her face. “I’m not fighting with that f*ck any longer. Not after the sh*t he pulled today.”

“But…” The passenger door opens. “...will he even-” You pause mid sentence as the big skeletons slides into your passenger seat. “...fit.”

Sans smirks at your expression. “oh, i’ll fit. ya don’t gotta worry, doll.” He winks. He f*cking winks.

Your mouth drops open, but no sound comes out. Dr. Alphys lets out a loud groan in the backseat. What…what is happening?? Your ears feel hot, which doesn’t bode well for your face.

The picture pops back into your mind. You swallow, and look away.

In the end, the only response you have is to flip him off. It doesn’t have any desired effect, as the skeleton only starts laughing. Grumbling, you put the car in reverse, speeding a bit too quickly when there’s people around to get out of the parking lot. As you get away from the courthouse, Sans once again plugs his phone in and starts playing monster music.Honestly, you're thankful. You have no idea what you'd say to him right now. Reaching over, you turn it up just a bit, ignoring the look he sends you.

The rest of the drive is mercifully silent other than the music. You sing along quietly with any song you recognize -which you're a bit surprised to realize you recognize a few by now- and drive as fast as you legally can to get to your destination as fast as possible.

Your first stop is the apartment building, of course. Sans gets out there, and you offer barely a quick 'bye' before heading out again. MTT Resort isn't far, so soon enough you're pulling into your assigned parking space.Instead of walking in with Dr. Alphys or ... Mike... you sit in the car for the next twenty minutes, truly contemplating your life decisions.

The next day, the only thing on your mind is how you can get back at him, get even for what he did. It wouldn't be that bad, honestly, if it was just some weird f*cked up little joke that happened once and nobody ever talked about it again.But no. Ofcourseyou're not that lucky. Ofcourse that's not what happened. Instead, Undyne of all people started texting you last night about it. Sure, it started off normal like 'thanks for taking alph' and 'i owe you' but all too quickly the conversation turned to 'so when were u gonna tell me ur f*cking sans?'

Which… what?!

Whatever Dr. Alphys had said to her was strong enough that nothing you could say would dissuade her of the notion. So, after trying unsuccessfully for what felt like an hour, you eventually had to give up and go to bed annoyed.

The f*cker was even in yourdreams so the annoyance didn't fade by the time you woke up. It might have a little by the time you showered and got ready for work, but then you made the mistake of opening the unread messages from last night.

[Undyne]: What’s it like??? ;) !!

[Undyne]: Actually, no, ew, I don’t want to know!!!

[Undyne]: f*ck!! I do!!! Tell me the gross details, punk!!

You stared at the messages, pressing your lips together to stop a groan. Didn't you just fix one rumour going around about you f*cking a monster?! It felt like you were out of the frying pan and into the fire.

So, yea, you're a little spicy at work today. It doesn't help that BP isn't working -weird-, so you can't even go vent to him on break. You start daydreaming of storming into Sans' apartment, just how you did with Aaron, and making him cower like the other monster. It's futile, you already know the skeleton wouldn't react the same. Even in your daydreams the only response is a grin and some sharp comeback. Ugh.

By the time your shift is over, your annoyance has finally simmered down into some sort of defeat. Luckily, it doesn't look like Undyne or Dr. Alphys are planning to spread this rumour around -you're sure you would have heard something by now- so, if the only ones you have to convince are those two then...well at least you can work on that. Still, you're not exactly in a good enough mood to go outside and risk running into the source of your problems, so you decide the smart decision is to go straight up to your room.

The first thing you do is bellyflop onto your bed, grumbling under your breath. You spend a long time laying there, contemplating your wretched existence. After a while, you do start to move. You take a quick shower, change into comfortable clothes and quickly grab a cooler from the mini fridge. Monster alcohol is great, but sometimes the only thing you want is to get slightly tipsy on a cheap can of mixed drink.

You spend the next hour or so watching sh*tty tv and finishing up a second cooler, when you start craving something a bit sweeter. Sliding off your bed you return to your mini fridge.Damn, you had really stocked up yesterday. Humanside really did have a lot of items that Monstertown just didn’t, enough that there was actually quite a lot on sale -which, in hindsight, seems absolutely wrong considering the prices and overall lack of food in Monstertown. Your minifridge is pretty much entirely packed with half off items: vegetables, fruit, milk, yogurt, etc. Most of it is healthy sh*t, which isn’t exactly what you’re looking for at the moment. But, you do remember picking up something a little less healthy for the freezer. Unfortunately, the freezer isn't exactly in your room. Ugh.

You make your way out to the communal kitchen -empty except a bird monster speaking on the phone in the corner- and look into the freezer there. Ah hah! Popsicles, your attempt to not get a tub of ice cream that you'll inevitably eat in one night and feel ill (of course, you regret your decision now, tipsy and craving exactly that). It's not exactly what you want, but it'll have to do. You grab one and make your way back.

Its only when you're sitting on the edge of your bed and opening the plastic that you notice the colour. Oh. sh*t. Right. The popsicles are a raspberry/blackberry mix, and the colour comes out to be a dark red. Of course, you picked them out before the whole picturescenario happened, so it's just a coincidence. Still, the fact that it reminds you of the skeleton only makes you clench your jaw.

An idea hits you smack in the face, a way tomaybeget back at him. It's...so f*cking dumb. Truly. Something you should totally not lower yourself to do. You're above that.

...right?

[You]: hey sans

Apparently f*cking not. The response comes only a minute later.

[Sans]: wat

[Sans]: if ur lookin 4 a repeat of ysterday, msg later. workin

You blink down at the message. Oh that motherf*cker. Alright. Game. On.

At that, you flop backwards so you're laying on your back on your bed and hold your phone up above you. If asked, you would vehemently deny just how long you searched for an angle that you found flattering. With a wicked grin of your own, you raise the popsicle to your mouth, licking it from the bottom to the top in one, flat-tongued motion. It only takes one try to get what you want, and you check the video for the best possible screenshot to send him.

Oh. Wow. It’s a good f*cking video.

[You]: nah. im good on my own

Screw it. You attach the entire thing and hit send.

...

…

[Sans]: f*ck

No other response comes, but you’re satisfied. You snicker in victory as you take a massive bite out of the popsicle. Gotcha, asshole. You truly hope he's embarrassed at work, just like how he embarrassed you at the cafe.

It’s not until half an hour later, when the high of the moment starts to finally wear off, that you start questioning what the f*ck you even did.

Chapter 7: Monsters Don't Like Compliments

Chapter Text

When BP doesn’t show up the next day to work, you start to get a bit concerned. Even if the cat was simply just taking a few days off -which you're not sure he's even entitled to-, you honestly expected him to reach out. He had been awfully concerned about your trip with the doctor, so for him to not even check in with you worries you quite a bit. You send a few texts before your shift next morning.

No response.

It doesn't help that nobody you ask seems to have a clue, or care really. Most of the workers just shrug when you ask. Chandace fully told you to mind your own business before kicking you out of her office, which, fair, but isn't it natural to be worried? Either way, you're practically vibrating with stress by the time afternoon hits and it's finally quiet enough for you to go on break.

The moment that Chandace comes up to replace you, giving you the go-ahead, you're gone. You turn and head straight out the backdoor to the little side alleyway that BP normally takes his sneaky smoke breaks in. Propping open the door with a nearby crate, you unlock your phone and immediately call your friend.

It rings once, twice, three times, four times, five times-

“What?!” A grumpy voice.

You straighten up, taking in a surprised breath of air. Two things immediately go through you: relief that he's okay, and frustration that he's okay and has beenapparently ignoring you.Still, you have no idea whats happened, so you try to keep your voice light as you respond."Oh, hey! It's me!"

“...okay?”

You blink a few times, feeling that flare of annoyance build up more at his nonchalant tone. Oh, this little sh*t. “I'm just, uh, checking in on you…?”

“What?” A pause. BP sounds genuinely confused. “Why?”

“sh*t, I dunno, maybe ‘cause you’ve been mysteriously gone from work for a few days and not answering texts.” You snark back. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t dead in a ditch somewhere. f*ck me, I guess.” No. You're not bitter at all.

There's another long pause on the end, before another voice in the background becomes audible -though not enough that you can understand what it's saying. BP says something back to them, and an odd shuffling sound comes through your phone.

“Hey!” Guy’s voice suddenly comes through the receiver. His voice sounds raspy and dry. “Sorry! He’s extra grumpy right now. It’s-” He clears his throat. “-probably my fault. I kept him up-”

You really can’t help it. “Nice~”

“No! Not like-” A cough. “-like that.”

...oh.

You wince.“...sh*t, you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just not feeling the-” Cough “-best right now. Burgy came over to look after me. He hasn't really been-” Cough. "-near his phone much."

Well…. aww? Suddenly, your annoyance starts to drain from you. You can't help but imagine BP doting on his sick partner. sh*t, that's adorable. “Is there…anything I can do to help?”

“Um, thanks! But no, I’m pretty much-” Guys’ voice cuts off, as more shuffling sounds come through.

“Actually yes.” BP is back, apparently. He already sounds a lot more awake. “Can you pick up some Cold Medicine from MonsterMart?” As he speaks, you can hear Guy’s protests in the background, a chorus of 'I'm fine!'.

“Yeah, sure. I can drop it off after my shift.” You nod, putting the call on speaker for a second to open your note app. “Any specific kind?”

“Anything that says ‘blue magic’ on the bottle should work.”

“Sure.”

You type in the reminder on your phone, and for a moment the call falls back into silence. Then BP says your name.

“Hm?”

“Thanks.” A pause. “For checking up on me.”

Well, sh*t. You smile. “No problem at all."

The door opens.

“One delivery for…” You look down at your phone, face in exaggerated confusion. “Bee….pee…? Is that an acronym or something? A medical diagnosis maybe….?”

Rolling his eyes, your friend roughly grabs the plastic bag from your hand. You snicker, watching as his face shifts to surprise at the weight of it. He looks inside. “The f*ck is all this?”

You shrug. “Figured if you both were holed up in here you’d appreciate it.” It all might have totalled a lot more than you’d originally thought but…worth it. “Some snacks, some drinks, some sick-people stuff. Human stuff too, just in case it could help.”

BP glances behind into the apartment, before turning his narrowed eyes back on you. His expression is contemplative, and the silence runs long enough that you shift from leg to leg and give a small awkward smile. What's happening? Then, he sighs. “Come in.”

With that, the cat monster turns around and disappears back into the apartment. The door remains open behind him, an unspoken invitation. You're surprised, honestly, not expecting the secretive monster to actually allow -let alone invite- you in. So you take the offer, walking into the apartment. The place looks normal, if not a bit cleaner than it did for any of the parties. Makes sense.

“Oh, hey!” Guy says, surprised tone to his voice as he waves lazily at you from his position on the couch. He’s laying down, his head on a pillow and body covered in a comfortable looking blanket. But, damn, the guy looks miserable. You frown, looking at him. His ears are droopy, fur on his cheeks and forehead a few shades darker than normal, and his hand quickly falls back down, as if its too heavy to hold up anymore.

“Hey.” You respond, walking over. “How ya feeling?”

He sniffles, looking between you and BP with an odd look. "Uh, I'll be better by tomorrow."

Raising an eyebrow, you glance at BP. The cat monster doesn’t seem as convinced, and you’re inclined to agree. The three of you fall into a brief silence, as the two monsters seem to have some sort of unspoken conversation through looks. It doesn't last long, ending as BP shrugs and sits down on the chair. Guy lets out a long sigh, and relaxes back into the couch.

“So, uh, I hate to ask but…are you contagious or anything?” You wince a bit as you speak, knowing it's a bit insensitive. “Chandace doesn’t give me sick days and I’m just barely above water money-wise.”

“Nah you’re good.” BP says. His attention is no longer on Guy, instead busying himself by taking the stuff you brought out of the bag.He examines them one by one, before putting them down on the coffee table. “Humans don’t get magic diseases. You’d need to actually…have magic.” Somehow that feels a bit insulting.

“...jus’ a cold.” Guy nods, blinking a few times.

Well, good enough for me. You take the few last steps forward and sit down gingerly on the arm of the couch.

When BP pulls out the last item, a little box, you perk up. “It’s ginger honey tea! I got it from Humanside last time I was there. I’m not sure how much it’ll really help with magic sickness but it always made me feel a bit better when I was sick."

“f*ck it.” BP mutters, looking at the box. “We’ll try anything at this point. ” He pushes himself up in one smooth motion, and makes his way towards the kitchen. You watch as he disappears into the little archway, and after just a moment you start to hear the distinct sound of a kettle being turned on.

You turn back towards Guy, but whatever you're about to say doesn't leave your lips as your eyes fall on him. Oh. He's asleep. You stare for only a moment at the sleeping bunny monster before deciding not to be a creep and turning your attention elsewhere.

Unfortunately, there's really not much to look at. The apartment isn't exactly that much different than when you've been in here before. So, you fall back on the easy option and grab your phone from your pocket. Maybe you can play a game or something? You just downloaded last night that free fighting game that people online have been raving about. It'll at least hold your attention for a few moments.

But you don't get to play the game. No, you don't even get to unlock your phone. As you bring your phone up in front of you, you can't help but pause, taking in a sharp breath. f*ck.

3 New Messages

[Mark]: i spoke to hannah. they don't know where u r either

[Mark]: r u really gonna be a bitch about this

[Mark]: im sorry ok?! that what you wanna hear?!

You stare down at the screen, jaw clenching. It takes a full few moments before you move, quickly unlocking your phone and going into your texts to delete the entire message thread. It's necessary, without deleting it. you'd just be staring at it all night. You know from experience.

Should I just block the number entirely?? Probably. But some annoying part of you refuses. You open his contact, finger hovering over the ‘block’ button.

“Who’s Mark?” A whispered voice. Right beside you.

You jolt, startling harshly enough to actually slide off the arm of the chair. Luckily, you’re able to flail a bit and stop yourself from falling to your ass on the floor. “f*cking hell, BP!” You whisper back, glancing to ensure your little panic hadn't woken Guy. You're in the clear. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“Not my fault your species has sh*t hearing.” He snarks back.

This time, you decide to perch your ass on something a bit more sturdy. You move over to the chair and sit down, glaring at the cat monster as you move. But he doesn't even notice, too busy looking at Guy. He's holding two steaming cups of tea.

“Seriously, is he okay?” You ask.

“Yea.” BP nods. “He’s had worse.” Finally he looks away, gaze surprisingly soft as he holds out one of the cups. "It'll get cold before he wakes up. I'll make him another one."

“Oh, thanks.” Putting your phone face-down on your leg, you accept the cup from him. For a long moment, you just sit in silence, blowing lightly on the liquid to help it cool down enough to not burn your lisp. BP moves to sit down on the coffee table, gaze still shifting to Guy every few moments. You can't help but smile.“You’re a good partner, you know.”

He flips you off, but you can definitely see the fur around his cheeks darken in a blush.

Guy starts feeling better not too long after that, so soon enough you are able to spend your breaks with your favourite grumpy cat again. Honestly, it works out great for you, not just because you do enjoy spending time with the monster, but you are no longer stuck with nothing else to do but head to your room on break to avoid a certain skeleton. Sure, it sucks that you're still inside the resort but...it's something at least. The best part of your week is finding out that somehow your friendship with BP and Guy has suddenly skyrocketed. You're not entirely sure what you did, but the difference was immediately noticeable: once Guy was physically able to, he started to text you just random things out of the blue, and BP actually agreed to come over and chill one night after workwithout his usual snarky fanfare.It was just a 'sure, whatever, can Guy come too?' and voila. So, at least something is going right this week.

You haven't seen or spoken to Sanssince the incident a week ago, and every day it feels like the anxiety in you is amping up a bit. After you sent your response video to him, you felt that odd adrenaline spike high for maybe half an hour before the crash hit. And oh, how it hithard. You had spent the rest of the night in a swirling mess of 'oh my god what did i do' and 'do i need to move?! just pack my sh*t up and go?!'. Pure mortification. And it didn't let up much at all. Even now, just thinking about it will turn your face red and you into a blubbering mess.Honestly, you have no idea what you'll do when you eventually run into him again -and you know you will, there's no way around it. At this point, you don't know if you can trust yourself to even actnormal around the guy after how you embarrassed yourself. So you quickly came up with another amazing plan: avoidance. You'll just wait out this weird awkward period until things return to normal. Time heals everything. Right?? Right.

At least, that was the plan.

...But when do your plans ever actually go as expected?

The universe itself decides to take your options from you one morning when you're sneaking your way out of Muffets with a coffee and cruffin in hand. Honestly, you might not have noticed the figure lurking in the shadows of the park if you weren't already on high alert for the skeleton. But you do, and the moment your eyes recognize what you're looking at you freeze. sh*t.You stare at the figure, watching as they raise their hands, holding something dark. Double sh*t.

After an alarmingly stressful moment of internal struggling, you pull your phone from your pocket and open the texting app.

[You]: hey, u around?

He responds surprisingly quick.

[Sans]: y?

You roll your eyes at the non-response, but can't help but immediately feel a bit better. This is normal. This isn't weird. Holding your phone up, you snap a picture and hit send.

[You]: im gonna go try to mess with her

[You]: if i get punched or arrested or something, get BP or Guy pls

[Sans]: y dont u just text them

[You]: they’ll try to talk me out of it

With that, you exit the app and open the phone camera, hitting start on what will surely be a very shaky video. It doesn't take you too long to walk up behind her, the human woman awkwardly 'hiding' behind a tree at the edge of the park with a fancy-looking camera in her hands.

“You know, it’s creepy as f*ck to be taking pictures of literal children. ”

The woman screams out, jolting backwards in shock. sh*t, maybe some of that ‘sneaking’ quality that all monsters seem to have is rubbing off on you. You watch as she flings her body back, tripping over her own feet. Unfortunately, she’s able to grab the tree and right herself before she falls back on her ass. A tragedy, truly. As she straightens herself up, her wide eyes fall on you. They widen even more for just a moment before narrowing in angered recognition.

“Oh. It's you. Leave me alone, I’m a member of the press!” She huffs. “And I’m not taking pictures of children! I’m taking pictures of everyone! ”

“Doesn’t matter.” You counter. “Still f*cked up. This is a park, there’s literally a playground over there.”

“It’s public property! I am allowed to be here!” She fully turns to you, crossing her arms in front of her chest. It’s only then that she seems to notice your phone placement, the obvious hold you have on it to take a video. She gasps. “You can’t film me!”

“Oh yea?” You grin. “I thought this was public property?”

“I didn’t give permission!”

“What? Did you get permission from the children you’re filming??”

At that, the woman makes an offended sound and lunges forward. Caught off guard, you're not able to move back quick enough, and her hands snatch at your phone. sh*t!

A struggle starts, as she tries to grab your phone directly out of your hand. "The f*ck, lady?!" You call out, trying to push her back. But something about the hold on your wrist makes your hand spasm, and your phone slides right out. f*ck, that’s gonna cost a lot to replace. Your eyes follow the phone on its descent towards a rocky death on the sidewalk, unable to do anything. But it doesn't hit. It doesn't smash to glassy pieces on the ground. A mere moment before it would have, the phone freezes in place, suddenly suspended in the air surrounded in a moving red blob.

Red magic.

You both gape down at it, silently processing what happened. Then, the woman lets out a screech as she falls backwards. Her arms circle in the air as she seemingly trips without even moving. Your gaze snaps back up to her, watching the colour red disappear from her feet as she lands rather painfully on her ass. Ouch. Your phone moves, floating safely back into your hands.

"Did-what?!" The woman sputters from the ground. "You-you pushed me!" She points at you.

“It’s literally all on video.” You mumble. “I haven’t moved. You sure you wanna go down that route?”

She continues to stammer as you move your phone to ensure she's in frame again. sh*t. If her face says anything, she's absolutely humiliated. You press your lips together, holding back a small laugh as the reality of what must have just happened finally starts to click in your brain. All you can do is watch as she slowly pushes herself back up into a standing position, stuttering curse words falling from her mouth.

"T-this better not be broken!" She exclaims as she examines her camera.

Quickly, you hold the phone back up and ensure it’s still recording. “For the record-” You say to the camera. “I didn’t push her. She tripped. Karma for being a little creep I guess.” At that, you turn it back to her. She stares into the camera, and apparently has nothing else to say. With another offended noise, she turns and stomps off.

You stare in the direction she left, triumph radiating in your very core, until you hear someone walk up behind you.

"Oof, thanks for the backup." You start, turning around with a -hopefully- steady smile. "Good thing you were nearby, huh?"

sh*t. Seeing him again after what happened last time sends an odd shiver down your spine. Despite his sudden sharpness, and surprisingly serious demeanor, you can't help but see flashes of that f*cking picture in the back of your brain. You swallow, teeth clenching together as those red eye lights come back to focus on you. "What do you think she's doing here anyways?

“besides pissin’ off quite a few monsters? dunno.” A pause, voice gets darker. “im gonna find out though.”

You let out a long sigh. “sh*t. I should have grabbed her camera while I had the chance. At least I have the video.” You look back up at where she went. “Maybe I should follow her…”

He snorts. “you?” A pause. “good f*ckin’ luck."

You flip him off, and he chuckles. The easy back and forth banter between you, as if nothing ever happened at all, immediately calms you down. It's so normal. So everyday. f*ck, maybe you are overreacting. Maybe you're the only one who has thought too hard into this whole thing. It was a joke, right? A dumb ass joke that you've let get weird, even inside your own head.

Maybe it's that thought process, that want to return to before, that has you extending an offer without really thinking about it. "Hey, uh, you got any plans this Saturday?"

A small pause.“not really.”

"Wanna come over?" You ask. Then your eyes widen and you rush to continue. "Guy and BP are coming over too!"

“what, ya havin’ a sleepover or somthin'?” Sans raises an eyebrow bone.

“Yup." You nod, pitching your voice up an octave. "We're gonna braid each other's hair and gush about boys. "

“...boys, huh?” He practically rumbles, deep voice so close to you.

You swallow, forcing out an awkward chuckle as you quickly decide to abandon the joke. "Anyways, we're gonna just chill and watch tv or play games or something. I'm gonna pop over to humanside to get some snacks too." You say. "You in?"

Sans hums, looking down at you. “yea, sure, doll. i'll be there.”

Damn, the night air feels wonderful on your skin.

You hit the button to lock your car and start your walk back into the resort, loot in hand. The plastic bags of snacks and treats for tomorrows little get together swings from your hand as you slowly walk in. With your free hand, you pull your phone out of your pocket and check the time: 10:00 p.m. Not too bad. Still enough time to put stuff away and relax a bit before bed.

You're just about to enter the resort when a voice rings out. "The f*ck are you doing?"

Pausing, you turn towards where the voice came from. A shadowy figure steps out from around the corner of the building. Oh. "Well, hello to you too you little insomniac." You smile. "Couldn't sleep?"

The figure walks just far enough that the lights from the giant sign in the front illuminate his body. Oh. He’s in his MTT uniform. “Nah. Night shift starting soon.”

sh*t. “She still has you doing those?? Do you even get any customers at night?” You ask, walking forward to meet him. Honestly, you feel for the guy. BP has been doing night shifts ever since Guy got better and he returned to work. Chandace would never admit it, but it's obvious employer revenge/punishment. At first, you were extremely insulted about this -well, you still are- but the cat monster just shook his head anytime you mentioned escalating the issue.

“Nope.” BP responds simply.

You blink. “Oof. Remind me to never get sick. f*ck.”

“You’d be fine.” He shrugs. “You got your ‘human laws’. Besides, it’s not like she can put you on night shift. You bring in too many monsters just by being there.”

You roll your eyes, but honestly don’t have much to respond with. It’s true, apparently, that the resort has seen an uptick in guests since you started working there. It’s super weird, and still doesn’t make complete sense to you (if they want to see humans, they can just go to humanside, right?) but according to BP and Guy, the novelty of talking to a human who willingly talks back is enough for many. As the two of you fall into silence. BP pulls a cigarette out of his pocket, lighting it with magic from his fingertips. Oh thats f ucking cool.

"Oh, right!" You suddenly remember. "By the way, I invited Sans tomorrow too."

His half-lidded eyes widen, and he gives you a look you cant decipher. Still, he stays silent, taking a drag of his cigarette instead.You watch as he breathes out, and green smoke curls up into the air. You’ve seen it before, a few times now, but it always gives you pause. It’s still just so cool to see. Finally, after a few more hits, he speaks. “Y’know, I got a weird text from Undyne the other day.”

“Oh yea?” You ask, still distracted by the magic.

“Mhm.” He hums. “Said you were flirting with Sans.”

Well, that certainly gets your attention. “Uh, what?!” Your head snaps towards him. The monster just smirks. f*cking hell Undyne! “Don’t listen to her! I have no idea what Dr. Alphys told her about that day but she’s been-”

BP says your name. “You’re turning red.”

“I am not!” You insist, waving your hands in the air. “I’m just….surprised!”

Before you can even fully register any movement, BP reaches forward and grabs your phone from your waving hand. You pause, shocked, before yelling out a ‘hey!’ and trying to grab it back. It’s no use. The monster is so much taller than you, and is able to keep it away without any problem.What is with people going for my phone?!

Still, you try. “Hey! Privacy! What the hell-give it back!”

“You shouldn’t have let me see your password.” He just shrugs.

You're forced to watch with wide eyes as he easily opens your phone. You have a strong feeling you know exactly what he's going for. sh*t! sh*t sh*t sh*t. You should have deleted the photos. f*ck, you should have deleted the entire f*cking conversation! Now, you have to stand helplessly and watch as your friend reads the definitely weird and suspicious texts between you and the skeleton. He doesn't even have to scroll far to find the subject of your panic.

“sh*t…” BP mutters after a few moments. He looks back up at you, odd look in his eyes. “Didn’t realize you guys were like that .”

“Like what?!” You ask, voice pitching a few octaves too high as you try again to make grabby hands towards the phone again. Unsuccessful. You can feel the heat in your face up to your hairline, your breath coming too quick. Just s top reading it!!!

It takes an agonizingly long few moments, but finally BP passes you back the phone. You immediately snatch it, shoving it deep into your pocket. The cat monster looks at your tomato-like face and leans back against the resort wall. All too casual, he asks. "This isn't like...a monster fetish thing going on, right?"

...what?

Your jaw drops, brain going empty. For a long moment, there is just silence.

“...wha-what…?” Your voice is barely above a whisper. “N-no! I dont have a…a…what do you take me for?!” Voice rising in volume now.

Despite your -completely heartfelt and correct - answer, your friend only looks more concerned. “Well, f*ck then.” Another long pause, where you panic internally as he takes another deep drag of his cigarette. After he blows out, he looks around as if he's checking that the coast is clear before continuing. “We…probably need to talk about this.”

You can't help but glance around too, but don't see whatever he seems to be searching for. “Uh, no, we definitely don’t have to.” You respond, voice still coming out all wrong. “We can just let it go! Let it disappear! And, uh, don’t you have work anyways??”

“sh*t, yeah.” He grumbles, running his free hand through the fur on the top of his head. “Chandace will actually kill me if I don’t show.” Okay, cool. Dodged that bullet. He lets out a long breath, looking at you. “We’ll pop over a bit earlier tomorrow."

...sh*t.

You blink a few times, hands waving uselessly in the air. “Again, we really don’t need to!! You don't want to, I don't want to. Lets just not."

But you're not able to dissuade him even a little bit. In the end, there's nothing you can do but regretfully agree to have the conversation tomorrow. What else could you do? Cancel the entire hangout?? So you say your goodbyes and head back in, determinedly avoiding eye contact with any other monsters as you walk. Unfortunately, another monster gets in the elevator with you, so you have to withstand them staring at your flushed cheeks for a few floors until you can get off.

Once finally in your room, you drop off your snacks and pretty much rush for the shower. You take a longer one, trying to focus on anything else other than what your mind wants to focus on. It's sort of successful by the end, and soon enough you'replopping your ass down on your bed and turning on the TV. The first channel to pop up is the Monster News channel. They're still talking about the graffiti that covered a monster-owned business yesterday. It was horrible, truly. Words like 'go back to the mountain' or 'your (spelt incorrectly, of course) not welcome here' plastered all over the cute little store. How can humans still be so cruel

You think about the woman from earlier and the week and frown. Could she be behind this? There are more and more humans walking through Monstertown every day now, and she does't exactly seem the 'graffiti' type but who knows. She's suspicious as f*ck either way. Grabbing your phone, you pull up the video from that day and watch it. As expected, its shaky, and at one point the entire screen goes a deep red as its covered in magic, but you still get quite a good view of her. Hm. Quickly you open your chat with Sans and attach it, hitting send.

[You]: Heres the video of the woman in case you need it for anything

He doesn't respond, but you're not expecting anything. Locking your phone, you plug it back into the charger and place it on the nightstand. You only watch a few more minutes of the news broadcast, enough to know that they currently don't have any leads, before flipping the channel to something else. Laying back on a propped up pillow, you lazily watch tv until your eyes start to droop.

Warm and comfortable, it doesn't take too long before you fall asleep.

You open your eyes, looking around. Where am I?

Honestly, there's nothing here. You're just in a room(?) of darkness.

Without anything else to do, you walk forward. One step. Another step.

You know you're moving, but nothing changes. Not for a long, long time. Honestly, you should be afraid, right? But no...you just feel calm as you walk through this dark abyss.

Something in the corner of your eye.

Red.

You blink, looking down. Thats red. Definitely. You blink a few more times, making sense of what you're seeing.

Thats...definitely magic. Swirling red magic pooling at your feet. You stop walking, just staring down.

The magic seemingly takes the opportunity to move, as almost tendril-looking pieces start breaking off from the large mass, caressing your ankles and the bottom of your calves. You watch it, entranced. Whats going on...?

Slowly, the magic climbs up your calves, swirling around almost like it has a mind of it's own. Your breath comes a bit harder as it reaches your knees, pausing there for a longer period of time before continuing its assent. The tendrils start rubbing against your thighs.

A deep rumble in front of you. Your head snaps up, and your breath hitches.

Dark red eye lights.

Your eyes open as you lurch forward with a gasp.

Blinking rapidly, you try to make sense of what happened, of whats happening. It takes you a moment for your brain to register that you're in your room. Safe. Alone. The only light comes from the tv, still on in front of you. The only sound comes from the same source, Monstertown as quiet as normal outside your window.With a groan, you reach up to rub at your face. What was that...dream? Your struggling mind takes a moment to pull the fading images together into one terrifying picture.

Did I...just have a dream about Sans?

...

sh*t.

A knock on the door.

Suddenly your nerves spike. sh*t. It's such a weird feeling, to be both excited for and absolutely dreading the next few hours. You give yourself a quick moment to just breathe, doing one last visual check of your room before making your way over to the door. There's another small hesitation before you open it and come face-to-face with an exhausted looking BP.Oof, he looks like sh*t.You're not surprised, the monster has been doing pretty much only night shifts for a week now. Normally you'd feel a bit of sympathy for him but...

I blame you.

Yup, you completely blame BP for the weird ass dream you had last night. He absolutely messed you up with his weird conversation and ideas! It's not like you've ever had a dream like that before. Andof course your tired mind was going to just run with it. So now you're here, not too long before having to face Sans, freaking out about a damn dream! How the hell are you going to face him?!

"Hi." You greet simply.

"Hey." The cat monster responds with a nod.

Guy peeks out from behind him. "Um, hi!" The bunny monster smiles. You cant help but smile back. "Sorry we're a bit later than we thought!"

"No problem! Thanks for coming! C'mon in!" You step back, inviting them inside. The two monsters pile in after you, looking around. They don't look to hard or too long, but you don't necessarily blame them. It's not like you have much to look at -only a few belongings here and there- and you'd assume that BP's room layout is pretty much the same as yours.

The three of you naturally filter past the bathroom into the main area. You turn back to them, mouth open to say something, but Guy beats you to it. "I, uh, wanted to thank you for earlier!"It's only then that you notice he's obviously holding something behind his back. "Hold out your hands!"

You do, but immediately start protesting. "Oh, you don't have to-" Your words are stopped dead as a flower pot is dropped in your hands, heavy enough that without Guy's hands also on it, the thing would definitely have crashed to the ground. "Oh!" You adjust your hold, until you're properly holding the pot. When you look back down at it, you freeze.

"Um...what is it?" You ask, feeling a bit silly as you do. It's obviously a flower. A single flower in a pot, which might be a bit odd in itself, but that's not what catches your attention. No, what makes you unable to take your eyes away from the swaying flower is it's colour -a beautiful light blue- and the fact that it is actually glowing.

Guy giggles. "It's an echo flower! It's a flower that was common in Waterfall!"

Oh. Ohwow. You've heard of Waterfall before. It was a place under the mountain. That's so cool! "So...this was underground?" You ask, looking down at the flower in your hand with a small smile.

"Ah, no! Sorry!" Guy frowns. "A few monsters brought them when we came aboveground and started growing them here. There's a flower shop a few blocks away that sells them." Huh. You would have thought this would be bigger news online...A glowing flower is pretty damn cool. The bunny monster leans in a bit, voice dropping to a whisper. "You can only get them if you're a monster though."

That makes you tear your gaze away, back up to Guy. What?!

"Yea, humans can't buy them yet." BP mutters an explanation. "They have magic."

"What? A flower has magic?? No sh*t?" You look back a the flower.Does that mean...I'm the only human that has one??

Guy laughs. "Uh-huh. They can repeat the last sounds they hear." He reaches over, lightly flicking it.

"Uh-huh. They can repeat the last sounds they hear."

You breath in sharply, gaping down at the little flower. Well, damn, suddenly this flower is absolutely one of the coolest things you've ever seen! You flick the flower softly, listening to it repeat Guys words again, before an idea pops into your mind. You lean forward and whisper something near the flower. Once you're done, you give it another little flick.

"You guys are the best!"

Guy lets out another laugh as the flower repeats your words, and you can practically see the fur near his cheeks get darker. Heh. It's something that you've noticed about pretty much all monsters in your time here, they all tend to just...become blushing babies at any sort of compliment. It's pretty cute to be honest. You started using that knowledge in your discussions with BP recently, and it shuts him up pretty quick when he gets a little too snarky.

The bunny monster gives you a little pamphlet on how to take care of it properly. Apparently the things are pretty damn sturdy, so as long as you are able to do the basics it'll be fine. They don't even need light, really, being underground flowers. It all sounds too good to be true for you! And honestly, even if you did have to do a little work, the fact that you're now the proud owner of amagic flower is enough to make you want to do it. You have what feels like an almost giddy smile on your face as you put the pot down on the nightstand you use least.

You take a few moments to ensure its placed as far away from the edge as possible, and look down at the thing again in wonder,only then starting to catch on to the almost foreboding silence that has enveloped the room behind you.

...

Ah. Right. They didn't come over early just to give you a flower.

Deep breath.You slowly turn back around, feeling your face wince as your eyes fall on their now serious expressions. The mood in the room has suddenly shifted. sh*t. "Okay so...you guys wanted to talk?"

The two monsters glance at each other, both seemingly unaware of where to start.Good, don't start at all. Please just don't. But its useless, really. The tension continues to rise quickly in the room until eventually Guy speaks. "So...Burgy says you have this sort of...thing going on-”

“I do not have a monster fetish!” The words fly out of your mouth before even fully registering in your brain.

Guy's mouth drops open, and BP's expression breaks from its seriousness as he lets out a sharp laugh. "Uh...no, sorry. I was going to say a thing with Sans.” Guy gives an awkward smile. “But…that’s good to know, I guess.”

Your face suddenly flames up.Oh, f*ck this! Letting out a loud groan, you let yourself fall backwards into a sit on the edge of your bed, head in your hands.

...

Another long moment of silence as you agonize in your own head. Well, no. Not complete silence. BP is obviously trying to regain control of his laughter. But when it finally does fall quiet again, you speak up. "We really aren't like that."

Like that? What does that even mean?? You don't know, not really. Still, no other words to describe the situation you've ended up with come to the front of your mind.

BP hums, full of doubt. "Mhmm."

“What? We really really aren’t like that!”

“Ok, sure." BP sighs. "Then what is going on?”

You open your mouth to speak, but pause. Well…what the f*ck is going on? “Just…we just fight…argue…I don't know. Normal sh*t."

BP snorts. “People normally don’t send thirst traps to those they’re arguing with.”

You look up, eyes falling on his sly grin. f*ck. You want so badly to object to the 'thirst traps' part...but, well, he's seen it. You knew what you were doing, even if it was dumb as f*ck. So instead, you go with another angle. “I only sent that to get back at him. Heat of the moment, thats it! End of story.”

“Ugh, f*ck. Fine.” BP rolls his eyes, stepping forward to grab your phone from the nightstand. You watch him, but at this point, don't have it in you to fight him on it. It's not like you'd be able to get it back anyways from his freakishly long limbs. As you watch, he unlocks your phone, scrolls for a moment before passing it to Guy. "Look at it, what do you think?"

...

It takes a second before- "O-oh!" Guy stammers, cheeks darkening again as he looks over at you with wide eyes. That gaze shifts between you on your bed and the phone. "You look great!"He gives an awkward thumbs up. "Um, but yea...definitely a thirst trap." With that, he passes you back your phone. You pocket it with a sigh.

BP scoffs. “And what did Sans reply? ‘f*ck’? Thats how I reply when Guy sends actual nudes.”

“Whoa-hey!” Guy waves his hands in the air, face going fully dark. sh*t, it kinda makes you feel a bit better that you're not the only one embarrassed, but now weird images of Guy start popping into your head.I'm gonna kick his ass if I start getting weird dreams of Guy too.

“And what? You waited like a whole day to respond to him? It wasn’t even the ‘heat of the moment’." BP quotes your words back at you.

...You stay silent, brain swirling.

“We’re not judging you-” Guy says, seemingly lost his nerves.

“I am.”

“A-hem. I’m not judging your taste or whatever-”

“I am.”

“Burgy! Stop it!” He grumbles.

BP chuckles. “Listen, you can send dirty pics or f*ck whoever you want.”

…sex with…Sans? Your spiraling, traitorous mind goes back to the dream you had last night. f*ck.

“But you gotta know, the skeletons are dangerous.”

You blink back to the present at that. Woah. That's really not what you expected to come out of his mouth. "Huh?"

“You got yourself wrapped up in a few boss monsters. Not a good idea in general , but especially with that guy.”

“He’s not that bad.” You say, feeling a bit odd defending him. “Arn’t you guys friends?”

“Eh” He seesaws his hand in the air. “Maybe. I know how sh*tty he is.” BP sighs. “Did you do any research on the underground before moving here?"

Ah, that again. You look away. "No."

...

"Listen...we were all pretty sh*tty underground." BP starts. "It's how we survived...kill or be killed and all that." Oh. sh*t. Really?? You look back up at your friend, taking in the surprisingly sincere look on his face.

"...you....?" You mutter, looking between them. You find it impossible to ask the full question. "...both of you?"

Both monsters nod. You notice it doesn't seem like something they're proud of. Guy's ears have drooped, and BP's are completely flat on his head. Still, they don't hide from their past.

"It's just how it was." Guy sighs, rubbing at one of his ears. "It was a violent place."

"But Sans though...he was worse." BP brings the topic back. "He was mean, vindictive, willing and able to fight and dust anyone he pleased."That...doesn't sound like him.You think of the monster you've known since the first time he stole your mustard. Surely...the monster that BP is describing would have attacked you right away....right? You open your mouth to ask, but BP continues. "All the boss monsters were like that, really. All you needed was to look at them funny to provoke a fight, but a fight with them meant death."

...

It's Guy that speaks up next. "He's been better aboveground, and we're all trying to move on past that horror but...we just...want to let you know who you're getting yourself involved in." A pause. "You're a good friend and...we don't want to loose another one of those..."

Your phone pings in your hand. You look down.

1 New Message

[Sans]: here. what room r u?